Sister Act Movie Quotes
Deloris
[prays]
Bless us, oh Lord, for these Thy gifts which we are about to receive. And yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of no food, I will fear no hunger. We want you to give us this day, our daily bread. And to the republic for which it stands, and by the power invested in me, I pronounce us ready to eat. Amen.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Monsignor O'Hara
You took a vow of hospitality for all in need.
Reverend Mother
I lied.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[chasing a nun he thinks is Deloris]
Vince
Hey babe.
[Nun turns round, it's Mary Lazarus]
Sister Mary Lazarus
Yeah, sweetheart?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Biker #2
This turns into a nun's bar, I'm outta here.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[at the end of her song at the Moonlight Lounge]
Deloris
Good night, ladies and gentlemen!
Michelle
Michelle, Tina: [singing] Heat wave!
Deloris
You don't give a shit.
Michelle
Michelle, Tina: [singing] Heat wave!
Deloris
Let's get the hell outta here.
Michelle
Michelle, Tina: [singing] Heat wave!
[the song ends and only two people applaud]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Willy
What is she doin'?
Joey
Oh, my God. She's prayin'.
Deloris
Lord, I want you to forgive Willy and Joey, because they know not what they do. They're only doin' what Vince told 'em to do, because Vince is too chicken to do it himself! So he's called upon these 2 men to take care of his business! So I want you to forgive them, Lord. Espectum, espertum, cacoomb, toutu, eplubium. Amen!
Willy
Willy, Joey: Amen.
[Deloris whacks them in their crotches and darts off]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reverend Mother
Girl groups? Boogie-woogie on the piano? What were you thinking?
Deloris
I was thinkin' more like Vegas, y'know, get some butts in the seats.
Reverend Mother
And what next? Popcorn? Curtain calls? This is not a theater or a casino.
Deloris
Yeah, but that's the problem. See, people like going to theaters, and they like going to casinos, but they don't like coming to church. Why? Because it's a drag. But we could change all that, see? We could pack this joint.
Reverend Mother
Through blasphemy? You have corrupted the entire choir!
[in the hall, Monsignor O'Hara enters]
Monsignor O'Hara
Excuse me.
[he listens to the argument between Deloris and Reverend Mother]
Deloris
How can you say that? I worked my butt off with these women! They've given up their free time to do this, and they're good! I mean, sister, we could, we could Rock this place!
Reverend Mother
Out of the question! As of tomorrow, Mary Lazarus resumes her leadership of the choir.
[Monsignor knocks on the door]
Reverend Mother
Come in!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[during a clandestine midnight ice cream feast with Mary Robert, Mary Patrick and Mary Clarence]
Sister Mary Lazarus
This is a sin, it's a wicked indulgence. Didn't they have any butter pecan?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[in a casino, to a group of nuns all dressed in full habit]
Reverend Mother
Brace yourself, sisters. Spread out and look for Mary Clarence. Try to blend in.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
[after putting on the habit]
Oh, no! No, no, no! I can't do this. I'm sorry. This is fine for covering a little bulge, but now I've got holster hips!
Reverend Mother
People wish to kill you. Anyone who's met you I imagine. A disguise is necessary to protect us all. While you are here, you will conduct yourself as a nun. Only I will know who and what you truly are. You will draw no attention to yourself whatsoever.
Deloris
But look at me! I'm a nun! I'm a - I'm a penguin!
Reverend Mother
As from now and until you leave, you are Sister Mary Clarence.
Deloris
Mary Clarence? Like Clarence Williams III from The Mod Squad?
Reverend Mother
Mary is in deference to our Holy Mother. The Clarence is in honor of Saint Clarence of Concordia. There are 3 vows every nun must accept: The vow of poverty.
Deloris
Mmm.
Reverend Mother
The vow of obedience.
Deloris
Mm-Hmm.
Reverend Mother
And the vow of chastity.
Deloris
I am outta here with that.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Joey
I can't, Vince. She's still a nun.
Vince
She's a broad. Y'got it? Just a broad!
Reverend Mother
I guarantee you she is no broad! She is Sister Mary Clarence of St. Katherine's Convent. She's a model of generosity, virtue, and love! You have my word for it, gentlemen, she is a nun!
Willy
Ya hear that? Now, aren't you glad we didn't shoot her?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sister Mary Robert
I'm so nervous. What if I forget the words?
Sister Mary Clarence
You're gonna go straight to hell.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Vince
Is it done?
Willy
Not completely.
Vince
What do you mean?
Joey
Vince, we can't waste a nun.
Vince
What are you two nuts talking about? It's Deloris, in a costume.
Willy
How do you know she didn't sign up and become one of them when she was there? Things like this happen.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[first lines]
[in a classroom in 1968]
Nun
Who can name all the apostles? Yes, Deloris?
Little Deloris
John, Paul, George... and Ringo!
[the children laugh]
Nun
Deloris Wilson, you are the most unruly, disobedient girl in this school! Now, I want you to march right up to that blackboard and write the names of all the apostles alphabetically.
[Little Deloris walks up to the blackboard and writes "John, Paul, Peter" and "Elvis" in big letters, underlined. The children laugh again]
Nun
This is enough! You are hopeless, and I wash my hands of you. Mark my words, Deloris. If you continue on this disruptive track, it will lead straight to the devil. Have you any idea what girls like you become?
[Little Deloris smiles]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Eddie
Where are you going?
Deloris
I'm going to the little nun's room, nosey!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sister Mary Patrick
We did it! We actually sang a chord!
Sister Mary Clarence
Yeah. You sang a chord for two seconds. The next thing you have to do is listen to each other. That's a big key. Big key, you must listen to each other if you're going to be a group.
Sister Mary Lazarus
I knew that.
Sister Mary Clarence
Mary Lazarus, as soon as I walked through that door I knew that you knew that. Let me ask you something, you're someone in favor of hard work and discipline, right?
Sister Mary Lazarus
Of course, I'm a nun! Four popes now.
Sister Mary Clarence
Four? Wow. Let me ask you, how often do they rehearse?
Sister Mary Lazarus
Twice a week, couple hours.
Sister Mary Clarence
Not enough. I mean listen to them, they really need a lot of work.
Sister Mary Lazarus
Do you really think they could get better?
Sister Mary Clarence
I don't know, they're pretty raw.
Sister Mary Lazarus
Wet behind the ears.
Sister Mary Patrick
Oh please let us try.
Sister Mary Clarence
This is gonna be hell.
Sister Mary Lazarus
Tell me about it.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[after seeing Deloris on TV, when she should be hiding]
Eddie
I'm gonna kill her! I'm gonna kill her myself!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sister Mary Clarence
I can't leave, they need me.
Eddie
A bunch of nuns? What for? Relationship guidance? Make up tips?
Sister Mary Clarence
You listen to me. We are talking about the Pope. This means a great deal to them and they have worked very hard for this and they deserve it.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
[at her first choir rehearsal, the choir sings a chord badly with Mary Patrick singing an octave above everyone else]
Okay! Okay! Okay! Very nice!
[to Mary Patrick]
Deloris
Um, Sister, can you just slide over here, please? That's a powerful instrument you have there!
Sister Mary Patrick
Thank you.
Deloris
But I think it's probably a good idea if we bring you down out of the rafters, everybody wants to be close to God, I'm just not sure you can do it vocally, so I need you to sing an octave below where you've been singing.
Sister Mary Patrick
Okey-dokey!
Deloris
And Sister Mary Robert, can you just come, yeah, come on over. I noticed that you're moving your mouth but nothing's coming out so I'd like to hear just you by yourself if you don't mind. Sister Alma, can you give me an A please?
[pause]
Deloris
ALMA! Check your battery. Can you give me an A please.
[Mary Robert sings in a whisper]
Deloris
Okay, try this. Close your eyes. Visualize yourself in room full of people, lots of silverware, people talking loud, dropping stuff, drunks, women with trays going 'whadda ya gonna have?'. Your voice has to carry across the din, you have to get up over all of that to be heard in the back of the room where I'm sitting, listening, straining to hear you. Okay? Keep that in your mind while we do this.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
Don't worry, we will always be together.
Mary Lazarus
That's what Diana Ross said.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sister Mary Patrick
And what a lovely name, Reno!
Reverend Mother
...and Gomorrah!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sister Mary Robert
Reverend Mother, I know you and Mary Clarence didn't always agree but we have to help her. Please.
Sister Mary Patrick
We've gotta save her.
Sister Mary Lazarus
We can't leave it up to the feds.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reverend Mother
[about Deloris]
That is not a person you can hide. That is a conspicuous person designed to stick out.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sister Mary Patrick
Why would anyone kidnap a nun?
Sister Mary Lazarus
Were they Catholics?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[in the casino, trying to find Mary Clarence]
Sister Mary Patrick
Hi, excuse me, sorry. Has anyone seen a nun? A Carmelite nun? No? Sure? OK, thanks.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reverend Mother
[about Deloris]
She isn't a nun. Her real name is Deloris van Cartier. She witnessed a vicious murder and has been hiding in our convent
Choir Nun
She... she lied to us?
Sister Mary Patrick
She wasn't a nun?
Sister Mary Robert
But she made us sing so perfectly!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Eddie
Nice church, huh?
Deloris
Yes, very nice. Look, what am I gonna be? Quasimodo in the bat belfry? What is this?
Eddie
I want you to stay here for a while.
Deloris
Where?
Eddie
In the convent. It's the safest place in the world. You think Vince is gonna look for you in a convent?
Deloris
Wh... in the what?
Eddie
The convent.
Deloris
You must be out of your... You know what? I'm gonna go back and work this out with Vince. You're a lunatic! I'm not gonna be in no damn convent with these people. These people don't even have sex!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[discussing convents]
Sister Mary Lazarus
A progressive convent? Sounds awful. I liked my convent in Vancouver. Out in the woods. It wasn't all modern like some of these new-fangled convents. We didn't have electricity. Bare feet, cold water. They were nuns.
Sister Mary Patrick
Sounds wonderful!
Sister Mary Lazarus
It was hell on earth, I loved it. This place is a Hilton.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Eddie
Deloris, look. Vince knows you're here. We gotta get out now.
Deloris
Oh, but I can't go. We're singin' for the Pope tomorrow.
Eddie
Listen! You gonna be singin' for St. Peter if you don't get your ass outta here now!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
Are you looking for me?
Eddie
How come I saw you on TV?
Deloris
That was not my fault, these people just showed up, but it's been really good for the convent.
Eddie
Listen to yourself! This is not a career move!
Deloris
You don't have to tell me that. This would not be the place to begin a career.
Eddie
You're supposed to be hiding out. Bullets flying through the air at you? Sound familiar?
Deloris
Yes, but I can't talk about it now because I have a show in 5 minutes.
Eddie
Just promise me I won't see you on the Letterman Show.
Deloris
Okay.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
What do we do now? Pray? What?
Reverend Mother
It's 9:00. Pleasant dreams.
Deloris
W-Wait. Are you tellin' me we go to bed by 9:00?
Reverend Mother
If I were you, I would use this time to think about my life and its direction. Or lack thereof.
Deloris
There's nothing wrong with my life. You know, before I came here, I had a career, I had friends, I had clothing that fit. Before I came here, I was okay.
Reverend Mother
Oh, really? From what I've heard, your singing career was almost non-existent, and your married lover wants you dead. If you're fooling anyone, it is only yourself.
[pointedly]
Reverend Mother
God has brought you here. Take the hint.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sister Mary Patrick
Oh, I'm so excited. I can't wait till Sunday when we sing.
Sister Mary Robert
I'd rather sing than do anything.
Sister Mary Patrick
It's better than ice cream!
Sister Mary Robert
It's better than springtime!
Deloris
It's better than sex! No, no - I've heard.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
[after Vince has sent Deloris a purple mink coat]
Well obviously Mr. LaRocca feels he can win me back by sending me this absolutely *fabulous* coat.
Michelle
Put it on, put it on!
Tina
It's beautiful.
Deloris
You see, some girls would fall for this but not me. I think I'll make him wait a while before I let him know that I...
Michelle
What?
Deloris
[Showing a monogram stitched into the inside of the coat]
Connie LaRocca. It's his wife's coat. The man gave me his wife's coat.
Michelle
I don't believe this.
Tina
Put it back on! It's yours now, you deserve it.
Deloris
No, I don't *deserve* it, I haven't *earned* it. You don't *earn* other peoples wife's fur coats, okay? I think it's time to just go upstairs, give it back to him and get the hell out of this dump.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reverend Mother
I fear I am a relic, and I have misplaced my tambourine.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sister Mary Lazarus
Don't leave him bald and yowling in despair!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Eddie
Can I call you Deloris?
Deloris
You can call me anything you want as long as you keep me alive.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
You still haven't told me what she said?
Vince
What who said?
Deloris
What who said. The one with the moustache, the one you're married to.
Vince
You are so damn hot.
Deloris
And you are so full of it. You didn't tell her, did you? I knew it. I knew you weren't gonna tell her. I knew it.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reverend Mother
I shall ask Monsignor O'Hara and Lt. Souther to find a safer, and more suitable situation for you.
Deloris
Oh, no. Come on. Don't send me away. Really. I mean, I'm just startin' to get the hang of this. I mean, look. I'm not gonna endanger anyone or anything else. I swear! What about forgiveness? Isn't that what you preach? There's gotta be something around here I can do that's not gonna chip my nails or annoy anybody.
Reverend Mother
You're right, Mary Clarence. To err is human, to forgive divine. You may stay. But I shall restrict your activities to a single task.
Deloris
What's that?
Reverend Mother
Singing. You will join the choir.
Deloris
Choir? No!
Reverend Mother
You will sleep and you will sing. That will be your task until you leave.
Deloris
No! The choir? I mean, have you heard them?
Reverend Mother
The choir, Mary Clarence.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Eddie
Mrs. Van Cartier? You're Vince LaRocca's girlfriend, right?
Deloris
Well you could... sort of... maybe... it depends on how you look at it! I mean, the guy just tried to kill me so I don't think that cements our relationship!
Eddie
You realize he's a major underworld figure, don't you?
Det. Clarkson
He's into drug dealing, money laundering.
Det. Tate
We've been investigating Mr. LaRocca for the last 18 months. We've got videotapes, surveillance photos...
Deloris
Am I... am I in any of the... videotapes?
Det. Tate
No, no, no, criminal activity.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
What am I gonna do here? I'm gonna go crazy! There's nothing but a lot of white women dressed as nuns! What am I gonna do here?
Eddie
Pray.
Deloris
Pray?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
Ugh! Ugh! Gee, what are you people? A Pridikin order? This stuff is terrible! it tastes like shh...
Reverend Mother
Sisters, we shall spend the rest of the day in silence.
Deloris
Well, why?
Reverend Mother
Only when we are silent may our prayers TRULY be answered.
Deloris
Then you don't have to eat this food!
Deloris
How can you eat this stuff? It's terrible!
Deloris
A ritual f...? No. No, no. I don't think I would. I'll put a little salt in it, and it'll be fine. Look, I'm gonna... Somebody pass me the salt over there.
Reverend Mother
A fast. To remind you of those who have to endure without food.
Deloris
[as a nun goes to take her plate, she grabs onto it]
No, I don't want you to... I don't want you to take my plate!
[slumps as her plate is taken away]
Reverend Mother
And silence!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Biker #2
Wanna dance, sister?
Sister Mary Clarence
Why? You don't have any rhythm.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Vince grilling Ernie]
Vince
I know they're trying to get something on me, Ernie, but so far they've come up with bubkas. They call Willy and Joey in there, and they're out in 20 minutes. *What are you doing there for three hours, Ernie?*
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Eddie
[Souther catches Tate just as he's giving Deloris' location to Vince, punches him, and shoves him at a pair of detectives]
Here's our leak, boys! Plug him up!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Tina
What's gonna happen to the act?
Deloris
What do you mean "what's gonna happen to the act"? You're gonna get somebody else, it's not a big loss.
Tina
But you pick all the music, you tell us where to stand and everything.
Deloris
Yeah, I'm a real genius, I'm a real genius and that's why we're packing 'em in and don't you pack any more of my make-up in that bag, don't think I don't see what you're doing.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Deloris
What are you gonna do? Stick me in a bag and bury me? Forget it!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sister Mary Lazarus
Oh! You don't think I see. You think I took vows yesterday.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Willy
You ain't got nothin' we ain't seen before, many times.
Michelle
I just don't want you memorizing it.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Vince
How can you let them grill me there for six hours?
Larry
I can't control how long they're gonna question you.
Vince
Did you go to law school, Harry?
Larry
Yeah, I went to law school, Vince.
Vince
Did you graduate?
Larry
Hey, I'm a lawyer, of course I graduated.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
