Major Gruver[at a traditional tea ceremony: watching, as a Japanese man spends a lot of time carefully making a cup of tea]He makes such a production of everything.
Hana-ogiThe pleasure does not lie in the end itself... it's the pleasurable steps *to* that end.
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Major GruverYou know what I saw yesterday? I saw two rocks that just got married.
Major GruverIf you were going to be smart, l'll tell you what you do. You get your little shoes shined and you go out tonight - because tonight is gonna be Tanabata.
Major GruverWell, my word, boy. l'm ashamed of you. l thought everybody knew what Tanabata was. Tanabata is the night of love!
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Hana-ogiI'm so frightened and confused. I cannot think. I cannot even understand your thinking.
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NakamuraWhat are you really afraid of, Miss Webster? You don't think it would enter Major Gruver's mind to marry a Japanese girl?
Eileen WebsterI don't know.
NakamuraThen permit me to reassure you. I think Major Gruver is brave, but, uh, not so brave enough to face the censure that would result from such a marriage. As for our famous, honored Hana-ogi, there are many Japanese - most of them, in fact - who look upon marriage to an Occidental with as much distaste as your people do to one of us.
Nakamura[continues]I do not feel that way, but then I have had the privilege of traveling in your country and knowing some great people there. And I am especially conscious at this moment that beauty is not confined to any one race.
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Hana-ogi[watching a traditional Japanese puppet performance about two doomed lovers]It is custom for lovers to die together when they can no longer face life.
Katsumi[dreamily]It is so beautiful.
Joe Kelly"Beautiful"? They're gonna' die, aren't they?
Katsumi[dreamily]They will live in another world, on a beautiful lake, floating always together - like water lily.
Joe KellySure.
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Fumiko-SanIt is very bad of me! But I cannot help myself! He's so tall!
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Joe Kelly[Major Gruver is entering Joe Kelly's Japanese home for the first time]Hey, off with the shoes. You don't wear shoes in a Japanese house.
Major GruverOkay, comin' off... What about the pants?
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Hana-ogi[pointing to some large rocks right off the seashore]You see the rope between the rocks?
Eileen WebsterOh, Lloyd, it's me you've got to love. Oh, Lloyd, haven't you ever felt like - like - like grabbing me and - and hauling me off to a shack somewhere?
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Major GruverEverybody acting like nobody ever kisses a woman.
Major GruverKabuki - isn't that the place where there are no dames and the men play all the women's parts?
Mrs. WebsterOh, that's right. The way they do at Princeton.
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Major GruverOh, Kelly, you stupid ignorant slob! l mean, go ahead and marry this slant-eyed runt if you want to. lt'll serve you right.
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NakamuraYou - did not enjoy the evening so much, l fear, Maj. Gruver.
Major GruverOh, yeah, l thought it was a fine play. l thought maybe you could use a Marilyn Monroe here and there, you know.
NakamuraUnfortunately, Miss Monroes were barred from Kabuki in the 17th century.
Major GruverWell, l didn't mean to sound corny. l just didn't know what to say about it.
NakamuraOh, please, do not apologize. l am great admirer of Miss Monroe - myself.
Major GruverWell, that's two of us. That's you and me, boy
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General Mark WebsterYou're lost. You're confused. Don't you think it's time you got back to the main stream of your life? Back to your roots? What you were born for, and raised for?
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Captain BaileyI hate to be stuffy about this son, but, you Air Force men just wouldn't understand.
Captain BaileyThe Bitchi-Bashi. Bashi is Japanese for ''bridge.'' We call this particular one the Bitchi-Bashi because there's so much lovely stuff that goes over it.
Captain Bailey[sarcastically]Well, what does it all mean? Eternal struggle, sex, New York Yankees...
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Major Gruverl was all set to take the exams at West Point and there was a teacher there who made me take a part in a school play. They were doing one of those Hungarian things by Molnár. You never did hear a Hungarian play played in a Southern accent, did you?
Major GruverThat's a shame, because l was awful good in it. Anyhow, l suddenly didn't want to go to West Point.
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Hana-ogil realized the hate was of my own making. That is why l came to ask you to forgive me for what l have been feeling. Gruver-san, will you forgive me?
Major GruverWell, you make me feel like an awful fool, Miss Ogi. l really feel that l ought to - ask you to forgive me for some of the things that - l've been thinking.
Hana-ogiMy life is planned. l am dedicated to Matsubayashi, as you are dedicated to American military life. l have never been in love. But l have dreamed - and thought about it - and waited. The danger that lies ahead of us - we must face now. The danger of discovery, for both of us. Danger of weakness - when it is over. l will never fall in love again. But l will love you, Ace-san, if that is your desire.
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Colonel CrawfordMy men have been watching a troublemaker named Kelly. He shacked up with another native girl.
General Mark Webster"Shacked up," Colonel? Kelly's married to a Japanese girl.
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Major Gruverl'm not up too good on Japanese ways of doing things and maybe l'm saying the wrong thing. l mean, maybe my American manners are embarrassing. But l figure, if you've come over here tonight maybe you were interested a little bit in meeting me, too. Now, maybe l'm wrong, but if l'm wrong, then you've got to tell me. Where do we go from here? Because l don't know what to say. l'm running out of things to say.
Hana-ogiMy father was killed - by American bomb dropped on my country. You have been my enemy. l have hated Americans. l have thought they are savages. There's been nothing but vengeance in my heart.
Major GruverMiss Ogi, there were an awful lot of Americans that were killed, too. And l think it would be best if we forgot about that.
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Major GruverDid anyone ever tell you, Miss Ogi, that you're a fine-lookin' woman? l mean, real *fine*.
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Joe KellyHow about playing poker with Katsumi and me?
Major GruverOh, l'll be delighted to take your money *and* your pants.
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Hana-ogiAre you going back to the officer's quarters tonight?
Major GruverNo, l think l'm going to just fool around here.
Hana-ogiWhat will you do all evening?
Major GruverWhat am l going to do? l'm going to get some beer and some pretzels and bring girls up here. I'm going to have a little fun, for a change.
Hana-ogiGood. l don't like you to be lonely.
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Joe Kelly[Katsumi giving Joe a bath]Just a little lower. I little lower, Katsumi. You always seem to be a little above it. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Hana-ogi[singing]Sayonara, Japanese goodbye, Whisper sayonara, Lover, don't you cry, No more we stop to see pretty cherry blossom, No more we 'neath the tree looking at the sky, Sayonara, Sayonara...
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Joe KellyIs Hana-ogi coming over tonight?
Major GruverYeah, if she can get away. We're going to cook up some fine St. Louis goulash - with a little Memphis greens in there.
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Eileen WebsterLloyd, they'll do anything to hang something on you - to keep you in line. After all, you're the Air Force's pinup boy, you know.
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Eileen WebsterI better go before I lose all my charm.
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Colonel CrawfordGeneral, is it all right with you if l post an order to keep these officers from bein' seen with indigenous personnel? Then if they are seen, there's somethin' we can do about it.
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Colonel CrawfordIt concerns Maj. Gruver. Now, we think he's hooked on to a Japanese dame.
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Major Gruverl just been lying here - thinking about myself. You know, l can't believe l'm really here. It's hard to believe that, you know, it's hard to believe me being the same Lloyd Gruver that came over from Korea just a little bit ago. You know, l been thinking that - all my life l been so busy snapping to and giving orders and taking orders and being a general's son and doing the job and - all that. l just never took time to sit right down and, you know, think about what my reason for living is. And l been spending some afternoons here just - being peaceful and - easy and thinking. And l believe for the first time l'm just beginning to understand what it's all about, what l really am, what l really want. It's a nice feeling.
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NakamuraDo not turn away, Miss Webster. l am not - necessarily making love to you. l am only stating a very - obvious fact. May l see you again, Miss Webster -and acquaint you with more Japan?
Eileen WebsterOf course. l need to know more, much more - about everything.
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Major GruverYou were telling me about Harry Truman and New York Yankees and sex and New York Yankees and Harry Truman and sex...
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Hana-ogiWhat have l done to deserve such happiness? l have seen this night of Tanabata come and go many times - but never before have l understood what it meant. Tanabata. Oh, my heart is so full of love for you.
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Major GruverHello there, Double Ugly. How are you?
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Hana-ogil am tempted. With you, l could become a woman. And a mother. And l could love you.
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Hana-ogil cannot think. l cannot even understand your thinking.
Major GruverI'm not thinking! I'm not thinking. For the first time in my life, I'm not thinking and I don't care.
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Joe KellyHana-ogi, will you tell that stupid dame l love her the way she is? l don't want her changed! Will you tell her l love her mouth and her nose and her ears and her eyes *just* the way they are?
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Major Gruverl don't want you to tell me anything more or anything less than you feel in the very deepest part of you; because what you answer to me now is going to affect us for the rest of our lives. Do you love me, Hana-ogi, or don't you love me?
Hana-ogil'm so frightened and confused.
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General Mark WebsterIf you're important to those who hate us, don't you see how important you are to us?
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Major GruverDon't give up on it. l think there's gonna be a way out of it. There's got to be.
Hana-ogiPlease, Lloyd, can't we talk about this later?
Major GruverThere isn't going to be any later. There's only going to be right now.
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Hana-ogiBut, Lloyd, we must do the right thing.
Major GruverWhat are you talking about, the right thing? We've been wasting two good lives trying to do the right thing - the right thing for Matsubayashi, the right thing for my father, the right thing for the military, the right thing for Japanese tradition, the right thing for the great white race.
Hana-ogiBut we have duties and obligations.
Major GruverThat's right, we do! We do have duties and obligations - and the first obligation we have is to love each other.
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Hana-ogiWhat would happen to our children? What would they be?
Major GruverWhat would they be? They'd be half Japanese, half American. They'd be half yellow and half white. They'd be half you, they'd be half me. That's all they're going to be.
Major GruverSay, boy, give me a martini, will you? Nope, make it lemonade. No, dawg! Give me a scotch and soda.
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Major GruverYou know, l was surprised to find that they make that stuff out of rice. We have rice back home in America. Of course, we just make rice puddin' out of it and we don't drink it. Eh, this is the first liquid rice l ever ran into.
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Major GruverNothing wrong with me a little bottle of beer isn't going to fix up
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Joe KellyBoy, she sure does something wicked to a bathing suit.
Major GruverShe has an enormous capacity to fulfill a bathing suit.
Joe Kellyl can see that.
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Major Gruverl'm gonna show you a picture of a girl. lt happens to be my girl, but she's American. And l want you to take a long, long look at her, because l believe that maybe you've forgot what an American girl looks like. And this girl l'm going to show to you, is first of all an American girl, a girl with fine character, a girl with good background, good education, good family, good blood.
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DoctorWouldn't you like to tango with one of those beautiful Japanese dolls?
Major GruverWell, if it's your prescription, Doc, then l'll certainly work at it the best l can.
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Joe KellyGenerals for the officers, congressmen for the peasants.
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Eileen Websterl'm sorry. l guess l've been thinking too much.
Major GruverYeah, l think you have been thinking too much.