Charles Bronson[Real Life Charles Bronson Quote]How would you feel, waking up in the morning without a window? My window is a steel grid, I 'ave to put my lips against that steel grid and suck in air, that's my morning... 'cause I got no air in my cell. I have to eat, sleep and crap in that room twenty-three hours of a twenty-four hour day. You tell me, what human being deserves that? Apart from the stinking paedophile or a child killer. I don't deserve that, I done nothing on this planet to deserve that. My bed is four inches off the floor, it's a concrete bed, my toilet hasn't even got a seat on it or a lid, and I 'ave to live like this month after month after month, and the way it's looking it's year after year after year. Now is that's right then so be, but let somebody else 'ave a fucking go at it, 'cause I've had twenty-six years of this bollocks and it's time to come out, and I want the jury at my trail to come and see how I'm living. But I'm not living, I'm existing.
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Charles Bronson[to the prison officer he's ordering to rub vaseline on his naked body]On my arse.
Charles BronsonYou don't want to be trapped inside with me sunshine. Inside, I'm somebody nobody wants to fuck with do you understand? I am Charlie Bronson, I am Britain's most violent prisoner.
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Charles Bronson[Bronson getting paid after his first fight]20 quid? You're having a fucking laugh, ain't cha?
PaulOh spare me the Oliver Twist routine, Charlie love. You need to build your audience.
PaulMagic? You just pissed on a gypsy in the middle of fucking nowhere. Hardly the hottest ticket in town, darling
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[last lines]
Charles BronsonRight! That's enough! He's had enough, come on, get him out of here! Go on and get him the fuck out of here, he's had enough! Come on! You fucking cunts! No class next week. Right!
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Charles BronsonYou shouldn't mess with boys that are bigger than you.
PaulLook, love. No one gives a toss about Charlton Heston. The man's a cunt. You're more of the Charles Bronson type.
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Charles Bronson[Desperately trying to escape from an insane asylum, Bronson meets a patient named John White who reveals that he is a child rapist. Disgusted by pedophiles and wanting to go back to prison, he unsuccessfully tries to kill White by strangulation before carried off by guards]
[Scene change, Bronson walks onto a theater stage set in his sub-conscious mind]
Charles BronsonI would now like to reenact what I call, "When Murder Goes Wrong".
Charles Bronson (as nurse)[Bronson whips around, revealing stage make-up of a female nurse's face on his left side]
[effeminate voice and body language]
Charles Bronson (as nurse)Now now, Mr. Peterson, we aren't going to start up all that silliness again, are we?
Charles Bronson[whips back around to Bronson, now aggravated]Listen, Nursey, I just wanna know when my trial is and when I head back to the slammer... 'right?
Charles Bronson (as nurse)[Nurse points at Bronson in a scolding manner]WRONG, Mr. Peterson! Now let's not play sillybuggers, eh? I'll just have to pop you in the botty with one of my special potions, mmm?
Charles Bronson[Bronson pauses, breathes heavily]When's my trial?
Charles Bronson (as nurse)[Nurse wags finger in a condescending manner]Ah-ah-ah-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk, no. Mr. White recovered, dear. There's no trial!
Charles BronsonWhat does it fucking look like I'm doing, you cunt?
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Prison Governor[On phone to Charlie]Hello Charlie. Can you hear me?
Charles Bronson'Course I can fucking hear you, there's nothing wrong with MY hearing you cunt!
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[opening monologue]
Charles BronsonMy name is Charles Bronson. All my life I wanted to be famous. I knew I was made for better things. I had a calling. I just didn't know what it is. Wasn't singing. I can't fucking act. Kinda running out of choices really, aren't we?
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Charles Bronson[On phone to prison governor]I am sat 'ere with... ah... what's your name?
Charles Bronson[On phone to prison governor]I'm sat 'ere, with Andy Love, and I'm gonna snap his fucking neck and stick his head up his arse if I don't get what I want!
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Charles Bronson1974... tough time to be young in England. Not a lot of opportunity around. Still, life moves on. Irene and I got hitched. It was all right. We didn't have it bad for a couple from the chippy. But they don't give you a star on the walk of fame for "not bad," do they?
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Charles BronsonPrison was... Honestly? Brilliant! I liked it, personally. Aw, fuck that, I loved it! It was exciting! It was on the edge! It was madness at its very best! The problem is, once you get comfortable -- or sometimes, even before -- they ghost you again and again, moving you from prison, to prison, to prison... And I fuckin' hate that. Parkhurst -- God bless that place. The accommodation was more than worthy of my royal self. Your own bed. Toilet. A sink. The food was of exceptional standard. Yes, Parkhurst was a corker. And Hull Prison! Well, what can I say? Well worth a visit. Scrubs -- not my favorite place to visit, not my favorite place to visit. But the staff are ready to make your stay as memorable as possible. We had a laugh. How we laughed...