Dot[voice-over]I used to fantasise that when I died, there wouldn't be a funeral. Having led my life invisibly, *no one* would come to mourn. But being invisible isn't worth it in the end... because when you're invisible, other people may not see you... but you can't help seeing other people.
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Nina DeerMichelle, take it down a notch, the whole world already knows you're a cunt.There's nothing left to prove.
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DotOne day, we wake up and we realize the world sucks. We suck for being in it and we run away. Anything but to face ourselves as we are. Anything to avoid asking why we hate ourselves so much.
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Nina DeerI killed my goldfish when I was little, Dot. I had six of them, and I cut them in half with scissors.
DotI used to hold my breath under water for long periods at a time. My father took me to the YMCA Saturday mornings. Submerged in the pool I heard nothing but my own heartbeat echoing against the water. I would've stayed underwater forever if my father hadn't been waiting for me in the bleachers by the diving pool. When someone is waiting for you, you have to come up for air.
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DotThey say that the truth can set you free, that's a lie. The truth is lies can protect us. Lies keep us safe from the truth.
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Nina DeerLife sucks, Dot. I feel like I can tell you this. I feel like I can be honest because you can't hear. Or can you? Look at you, eating your sandwich like a piglet while I talk. Strangely comforting... When I first met you, I mean, when you first moved in, I hated you. I hated your face, your dumb blank stare. But now that I feel like I know you again, that's all changed. It's so nice to know there's someone whose life sucks more than mine.
[whispers]
Nina DeerI'm gonna kill my dad, Dot. Tonight. I hate him, you know. I hate him and I love him. I hate it when he won't let me go out with my friends, but I love it when he *fucks* me. I hate it when he fucks me too, though. See how that works? Doesn't make any sense.
[stops whispering, speaks quietly]
Nina DeerHe likes it when I bite on his nipples though. I stick the tip of his nipple between my teeth... and I rub my tongue back and forth on it, like a windshield wiper.
[emulates with Dot's finger]
Nina DeerDrives him wild. I made him cum once just by sucking on his nipples. I didn't even need to touch his dick once. I love that I can tell you this shit, cause it's like it's off my chest, but it's still a secret, you know? Michelle's dad's got a gun. I know where it is. But I figure it'd be too gross. You know, with Mom's decorating and all. Although she's probably already joining Judy Garland and Marylin Monroe in Pill Popper's Paradise. Just like an E True Maradin story. I'm gonna do it late. Mom won't wake up, nah. You can't hear. It'll just be me, my daddy, and a bullet. Michelle's gonna steal it for me this afternoon.
Dot[narrating]All I wanted was to be invisible. It was a simple request. It didn't involve anyone else. When I was in a room with another person, I felt like I was only half there. When I was in a room with two other people, I felt like a third of myself. When I was in a room with three other people, I felt like a quarter of myself. And when I was in a whole crowd of people, I felt like nobody.
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Nina Deer[explaining to her friends about Dot being deaf]I don't know, I bet it'd be harder to lose something then never having had it at all.
Michelle FellOkay, Deepak Chopra Winfrey, thanks for the life lesson.
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Connor[Talking to Dot]You know, I was thinking about you last night. I was thinking that if we went on a road trip, how quiet it would be.
ConnorYou know, we could go all the way through Long Island to Pennsylvania. You know, that's where they make Hershey's chocolate. Pennsylvania. And all the lamp posts look like Hershey's Kisses. They give you free M&M's at the factory.
ConnorI can smell your hair. It smells like cucumbers. I got really, really hard last night. I had to beat off. And my mom was just outside of my room, putting the towels away. You know I could hear her, but I couldn't help myself.
ConnorI mean, I came four times. I mean, four times, that isn't normal, is it? What am I gonna do? I'm this sex addict with a learning disorder who forgot how to play basketball.