Swink Sylvania
Bitch, that's cheating! I'm not even dead yet!
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Phineus Bantum
"A-hole", dude?
Swink Sylvania
Profanity is for the feeble-minded.
Phineus Bantum
Well, I'm "effing" sorry I offended you... fuck-ass.
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[last lines]
October Bantum
Go fuck yourself!
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Phineus Bantum
Can we skip the cinematic foreplay? I wanna fuck.
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October Bantum
Whoever said size doesn' matter never played a third-person shooter. Can I have a 42-inch this time? You know I like the big ones...
Hutch O'Neill
Once again, that is too much information- oh, shit!
[Hutch runs to the bathroom]
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Swink Sylvania
But I just figured out how to strip one of those zombie concubines naked.
Phineus Bantum
*That* is what I'm talking about. How do you do it?
Swink Sylvania
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A.
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October Bantum
Shut up.
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October Bantum
Somebody ran my brother down in a horse-drawn carriage. I'm gonna find whoever did it, and hurt them.
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[simultaneously reading]
Swink Sylvania
Swink Sylvania, October Bantum, Phineus Bantum, Hutch O'Neill, Abigail, Miller Banks: Come to me, clouds. May you rise as an evil storm born to rip them open. Let the cover of night bear witness and destroy those who resist so they shall harm me not. Let the blood of many cleanse me, preserving beauty eternal, I pray you.
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Phineus Bantum
Sweet Sebastian Bach, I wanna play!
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Abigail
I hate telling people the truth and watching 'em get embarassed for that!
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October Bantum
You know Phin? The problem with your mouth is that stupid, insensitive shit comes out of it.
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Phineus Bantum
I don't know what it is, man, I'm scared, I'm freaking out man, there's something OUT here - is that Abby? Wassup Mama?
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Swink Sylvania
Did you feel that?
Phineus Bantum
I felt it in my pants!
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Hutch O'Neill
This is...
Swink Sylvania
...fucking insane.
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Miller Banks
You know what they say- you play the game too long, you start seeing shit and having seizures.
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Swink Sylvania
Can Hutch come out and play?
Hutch O'Neill
Swink! You scared the crap out of me!
Swink Sylvania
Why yes. I would love to come inside.
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Phineus Bantum
Miller, man, you in those tunnels again? All the doors are locked.
Miller Banks
Well, now they're open and I'm exploring, tearin' shit up... ownin' fools.
October Bantum
Ownin' fools?
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Phineus Bantum
If this genuinely is from Loomis, it must in fact, be barely legal.
Hutch O'Neill
[later]
Ok, we got this from Loomis, It's called Stay Alive. We don't know much about it except we're not supposed to have it.
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October Bantum
If you had any less sense, you'd be half a penny.
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Phineus Bantum
I beta-tested for a while. It sucked. It's kinda like eating a beav - it's awesome at first, then it's just goddamn monotonous.
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Phineus Bantum
Who talks like that to their brother like that anyway?
October Bantum
Somebody with an idiot for a brother.
Phineus Bantum
Oh my God, you're a terrible person.
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[Phineus licks Swink's controller and hands it to him]
Swink Sylvania
Dude...
Phineus Bantum
Put your hands on it.
Swink Sylvania
That's disgusting...
Phineus Bantum
Touch it.
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Stay Alive Game Voice-Over
When fear criples you, when death's dark shadow surrounds you, drop a rose. It will help you... stay alive.
Swink Sylvania
We should drop one when we meet up with a boss we can't face.
October Bantum
Yeah, the undead can't cross the twig of a wild rose.
Phineus Bantum
That is what happens when you read too much goth chick lit.
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Phineus Bantum
Let's Butter this muffin!
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Swink Sylvania
Go on and get out of here. I've got these punk-ass bitch motherfuckers handled.
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Hutch O'Neill
Don't you get it? If you die in the game, you die for real.
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Hutch O'Neill
They don't really know what happened. All they know is that he was murdered.
Phineus Bantum
Holy fucking shit, really?
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