The Adventures of Tintin Movie Quotes
Captain Haddock
I thought you were an optimist.
Tintin
You were wrong, weren't you? I'm a realist.
Captain Haddock
Ah, it's just another name for a quitter.
Tintin
You can call me what you like. Don't you get it? We failed.
Captain Haddock
Failed. There are plenty of others willing to call you a failure. A fool. A loser. A hopeless souse. Don't you ever say it of yourself. You send out the wrong signal, that is what people pick up. Don't you understand? You care about something, you fight for it. You hit a wall, you push through it. There's something you need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never let it defeat you.
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Captain Haddock
My memory isn't the way it used to be.
Tintin
How was it?
Captain Haddock
I've forgotten.
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Tintin
We've got bad news. We've only got one bullet.
Captain Haddock
What's the good news?
Tintin
We've got ONE bullet.
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Captain Haddock
What is this peculiar liquid? There's no bouquet. It's completely transparent.
Lieutenant Delcourt
Why, it's water.
Captain Haddock
What will they think of next?
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Tintin
What have you done?
Captain Haddock
No need to thank me.
Tintin
What?
Captain Haddock
Well, you looked a little cold, so I lit a wee fire.
Tintin
In a boat!
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Captain Haddock
Nobody takes my ship!
Tintin
They've already taken it.
Captain Haddock
But nobody takes my ship twice!
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Nestor
Good evening, sir. I trust you had a pleasant voyage.
Ivanovich Sakharine
Do I pay you to talk?
Nestor
You don't pay me at all.
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Captain Haddock
So you thought you'd sneak in an' catch me with me trousers down, eh?
Tintin
I'd rather you keep your trousers on if it's all the same to you!
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Tintin
What is?
Thomson
Worthington's having a half-price sale on bowler hats!
[looks at the newspaper]
Inspector Thompson
Great Scotland Yard!
Thomson
Thomson, Tintin: What is it?
Inspector Thompson
Canes are half-price too!
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[from trailer]
[in a plane]
Captain Haddock
You do know what you're doing, right?
Tintin
Relax. I interviewed a pilot once!
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Tintin
To think, all it took was one day in the Sahara! Congratulations, Captain, you're sober!
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Captain Haddock
Blistering treasure! It's Red Rackham's barnacles!
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Silk
What do you mean, "pickpocket"?
Thomson
A master criminal. A bag-snatching, purse-pilfering, wallet-lifting sneak thief!
Silk
I'm not a bad person. I'm a kleptomaniac.
Thomson
A what?
Inspector Thompson
It's fear of open spaces.
Thomson
Poor man. No wonder he keeps his wallets in the living room.
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Captain Haddock
[Haddock is chasing Sakharine's falcon]
Ten thousand thundering typhoons! Come here you pilfering parakeet!
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Tintin
Captain, can you get us to Bagghar?
Captain Haddock
What sort of a stupid question is that?
[gets up]
Captain Haddock
Give me those oars! I'll show you some real seamanship, laddie! I'll not be doubted by some pipsqueak tuft of ginger and his irritating dog. I am master and commander of the seas!
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Ivanovich Sakharine
You may kill the boy, but NOT Haddock!
Allan
Oh, come on, sir, he's a rum soak! We should have killed him long ago...
Ivanovich Sakharine
[draws his blade]
Do you think it was an accident I took Haddock's ship, Haddock's crew, Haddock's treacherous first mate? Nothing I do is an accident!
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[from trailer]
Tintin
Are you going to take charge of this evidence?
Inspector Thompson
Never fear, Tintin! The evidence is safe with us!
[falls down stairs]
Thomson
Thompson? Where are you?
Inspector Thompson
Well, I'm already downstairs! You'd better keep up!
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[last lines]
Tintin
Four hundred weight of gold, just lying at the bottom of the sea. How's your thirst for adventure, Captain?
Captain Haddock
Unquenchable, Tintin.
[Snowy barks]
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[from trailer]
[a shipwrecked Haddock spots a plane]
Captain Haddock
We're saved! A savior from above!
[the plane opens fire]
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[Closeup on Tintin, who is slowly waking up]
[Tintin wakes up to find that Captain Haddock has lit a fire out of the wooden oars, in the boat and is trying to warm himself]
Tintin
What?
Captain Haddock
Well, you looked a little cold, so I lit a wee fire.
Tintin
*IN A BOAT*? No, those are our oars! We need those oars!
Captain Haddock
[snapping an oar in two and throwing it into the fire; merrily]
Yes, but not for much longer.
Tintin
Have you gone MAD? Quick, Captain! Help me!
[frantically begins splashing salt water on the fire, trying to put it out]
Tintin
Captain help me quick!
[frantically grabs the whiskey bottle he was preparing to drink, opens it and pours it on the fire]
Tintin
No! Captain, not that!
[a massive explosion occurs from a distance]
[Tintin and Haddock are now sitting on top the lifeboat, which has flipped upside down]
Tintin
Well, this is a fine mess.
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[Thomson and Thompson plan a trap for the wallet thief]
Inspector Thompson
It's childishly simple!
Thomson
To be precise: it's very childish I agree!
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Allan
Mr Tintin?
Tintin
Yes, that's me.
Allan
There's a crate here for you, sir.
Tintin
But I didn't order anything.
[stuffs him into the crate]
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Inspector Thompson
You are under arrest!
Thomson
To be precise: you are under arrest!
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Ivanovich Sakharine
The legend says only a Haddock is able to find the treasure... but it took a Rackham to get the job done!
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Captain Haddock
Billions of blue, blistering barnacles!
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Captain Haddock
It was Allan, he nobbled me... and there was a bottle...
Tintin
There always is!
Captain Haddock
No, it's not like that...
Tintin
I can smell it on you!
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[repeated line]
Tintin
Great snakes!
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Tintin
[seeing a poster of the "Milanese Nightengale", the opera singer Bianca Castafiore, being unveiled in Bagghar]
The Milanese Nightingale. That's his secret weapon?
Captain Haddock
What a *dish.*
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[from trailer]
Ivanovich Sakharine
Find them, find them BOTH!
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Captain Haddock
Red Rackham!
Ivanovich Sakharine
That's right! An ancestor of mine, just as Sir Francis was yours!
Captain Haddock
Unfinished business...
Ivanovich Sakharine
Oh, it's good you remember, Haddock - killing you drunk wouldn't have been as much fun!
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[from trailer]
Tintin
We can't go back, not now!... Not now.
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Captain Haddock
Sir Francis Haddock was the greatest captain of the seven seas! Why do you think I drink? It's because I know I'll never be like him!
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[from trailer]
Captain Haddock
Nobody takes MY ship!
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[Tintin has escaped and stumbled into a room on the second deck of the ship, where he meets the eternally intoxicated Captain Haddock for the first time]
Captain Haddock
[brandashing a bent pipe; thinking Tintin is an intruder]
So... you were trying' to catch me wi' my trousers down, huh?
Captain Haddock
[about Shakarine]
He was planning all of this, trying to bump me off! He sent you here to kill me, huh?
Tintin
What are you talking about?
Captain Haddock
I knew he was going send someone to do th' job! Me murdered in bed by a baby-faced assassin!
[Snowy grabs a hold of Haddock's pants with his teeth]
Tintin
No, No! You've got it all wrong! I'm not an assassin.
[Captain Haddock stops fighting]
Tintin
I was captured by a gang of thugs!
[There is a pause; Haddock begins to cry comically]
Tintin
Who did?
Captain Haddock
[still blubbering]
Ah, the sour-faced man with the sugary name. He has bumped 'em off. Every last one of 'em!
Tintin
You mean, Sakharine?
Tintin
You're the captain?
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[Haddock hurls bottles at Sakharine]
Ivanovich Sakharine
Go ahead, have a drink. It's all you've got left!
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Tintin
Well, is there a key?
Captain Haddock
A key? Ah!
[Haddock's breath makes Tintin wince and cough]
Captain Haddock
Yes, now, that would be the problem.
[Tintin struggles to keep his balance; follows Haddock who opens the door to the crew's sleeping quarters]
Captain Haddock
Mr. Jaggerman, top bunk in the centre, keeper of the keys. Careful, mate. He's a restless sleeper on account of the tragic loss of his eyelids.
Tintin
He lost his eyelids?
Captain Haddock
Aye. Now, that was a card game to remember.
[chuckles]
Captain Haddock
Oh, you really had to be there.
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[from trailer]
[a roll of parchment slips out]
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[Tintin, Haddock and Snowy are in the lifeboat; Tintin rows]
Tintin
We have to get to Bagghar ahead of Sakharine.
Captain Haddock
I know, I know. Why?
Tintin
Because he has the third model ship.
Captain Haddock
How do *you* know?
Tintin
The Sheik collects old ships, and this...
[shows Haddock a photo of the model]
Tintin
... is the prize of his collection.
Captain Haddock
Blistering blue barnacles, that is the Unicorn!
Tintin
Captain, do you see the distortion around the model?
Captain Haddock
Uh-huh, aye.
Tintin
It means that Ben Salaad exhibits it in a bulletproof glass case in his palace.
Captain Haddock
And Sakharine is going there to steal it!
Tintin
Yes, he has a secret weapon. The Milanese Nightingale, but that won't be enough to solve the mystery, and that is why Sakharine needs you. That's why he made you his prisoner. There is something he needs you to remember.
Captain Haddock
I don't follow you.
Tintin
I read it in a book.
[sits down]
Tintin
That only a true Haddock can discover the secret of the Unicorn.
[Haddock gasps and smiles as if he's remembered something; Tintin smiles back]
Captain Haddock
I don't remember anything about anything.
Tintin
But you *must* know about your ancestors, Sir Francis-- It's your family legacy.
Captain Haddock
My memory is not what it used to be.
Tintin
Well, what *did* it used to be?
Captain Haddock
I've forgotten.
[Snowy whines]
Tintin
Captain... can you get us to Bagghar?
[stands up]
Captain Haddock
Give me those oars! I'll show you some *real* seamanship, laddie!
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Bianca Castafiore
I am most grateful to Professor Sweetie Pie, for bringing me here to Bagghar!
[Sakharine winces]
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Captain Haddock
Ah-ha! Just a wee tipple. A toast - to our good fortune.
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Tintin
"And then shines forth - the Eagle's Cross."
Captain Haddock
Well, I can see the cross, but where's the eagle?
Tintin
St. John the Evangelist, who was always depicted with an eagle. And he's called the Eagle of Patmos. He *is* the eagle.
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Captain Haddock
It's a mistake.
Tintin
What if it isn't?
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Nestor
Good evening, sir. I trust you had a successful trip abroad.
Ivanovich Sakharine
Do I pay you to talk to me?
[gets in the car, slams the door shut]
Nestor
You don't pay me at all.
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Captain Haddock
Oh, it's a funny old life, eh? Well, you've got your story for your newspaper. All's well that ends well.
Tintin
It's not ended.
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Captain Haddock
But you think we might find another way to North Africa that doesn't take us through that Wall of Death?
Tintin
We can't turn back. Not now.
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[from trailer]
Captain Haddock
I SWEAR to find that treasure before 'im!
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[from trailer]
Tintin
If Sakharine gets to that ship before us, it's over!
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Red Rackham
Kill his men!
Sir Francis Haddock
Nooooo!
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Tintin
Bad news, Captain. We've only got one bullet.
Captain Haddock
What's the good news?
Tintin
We've got one bullet.
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Tintin
If you'll excuse me, I need to find a way off this drunken tub.
[Tintin leaves Captain Haddock's cellar with a bang of the door]
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Captain Haddock
[During the Port of Bagghar chase;Captain Haddock is trying to grab one of the scrolls before Sakharine's peregrine falcon can]
Oh no, not again! Come here, my beauty!
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Tom
We killed them, boss, like you wanted.
Sakharine
No! *Not* like I wanted! I needed Haddock *alive*!
Allan
Wait a minute, boss! There are *two* boats missing!
Tom
So, that one must have been a decoy.
[Sakharine grabs the searchlight, then spots a note Tintin dropped lying on the deck; picks it up; it says, "Bagghar"]
Sakharine
They're on to us and our destination.
[turns to Tom]
Sakharine
Find them!
[points his cane]
Sakharine
Make absolutely certain they never reach Bagghar!
Tom
Yes, boss.
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Allan
Don't worry. We'll kill 'em, sir.
Sakharine
No! You can kill the boy, not Haddock.
Sakharine
[yanks Tom up close with his cane]
You think it's an accident that I chose Haddock's ship, Haddock's crew, Haddock's...
[yanks Allan up close]
Sakharine
... treacherous first mate? *Nothing* is an accident.
[a hawk flies over and perches on Sakharine's left arm]
Sakharine
We go back a long way, Captain Haddock and I. We've unfinished business.
[feeds the hawk]
Sakharine
And this time, I'm going to make him... *pay*.
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Tintin
Captain, calm down. There are worse things than sobering up.
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Tintin
Snowy, what have you done?
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Captain Haddock
Tintin!
[a crewman stands up in the lifeboat]
Pirate flunky #1
Freeze!
[points a gun at Haddock]
Pirate flunky #1
Put your hands up!
[Haddock lets go of the rope; both the crewman and the lifeboat fall off the ship; the lifeboat splashes into the sea and floats away]
Captain Haddock
[looks down at the crewman whose leg is now tangled up in the rope, leaving him hanging upside down above the water]
And let that be a lesson to ya!
Pirate flunky #1
Help me!
[Haddock starts to prepare a second lifeboat]
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[Tintin's flat has been ransacked]
Tintin
Great snakes!
[even the fridge has been emptied; Snowy goes over to the sideboard and barks]
Tintin
What is it, Snowy?
[feels down and looks under the sideboard; gets to his feet and pushes it away from the wall; crouching down, he finds the metal cylinder which fell out of the model ship's broken mast; holds it up and examines it]
[goes over to an overturned table lamp and by its light, opens the cylinder; pulls out a small scroll; Snowy gives Tintin his magnifying glass]
Tintin
Good boy, Snowy.
[reads with its aid]
Tintin
"Three brothers joined. Three Unicorns in company sailing in the noonday sun will speak, for 'tis from the light that light will dawn. And then shines forth the Eagle's Cross." What are these markings? Some kind of secret language or... or code? It makes no sense, but it *does* explain why they ransacked the flat.
[holds up the scroll]
Tintin
They were looking for this and they didn't find it, which means... they'll be back.
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Tintin
Sir Francis didn't make two models of the Unicorn. He made three! Three ships for three sons.
Captain Haddock
Excellent.
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[the Unicorn is sinking]
Red Rackham
I curse you! I curse your name! And all who come after! We *will* meet again, Haddock! In another time! In another life!
[the Unicorn explodes and disappears beneath the surface]
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Tintin
"Some things are easily lost." What did he mean by that, Snowy? What was he trying to tell me? "Some things are easily lost."
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[first lines]
Market Artist
Very nearly there, sir. I have to say, your face is familiar. Have I drawn you before?
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Barnaby
Look, kid, I'm trying to help you out. I don't think you realise this, but you're about to walk into a whole mess of danger.
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Mrs. Finch
I don't know where he is, dearie. I think he's gone out. And anyway, it's after dark, and Mr. Tintin is most particular about not admitting visitors after bedtime. I *have* to go back to my cocoa. I've got a *very* good book and a cup of cocoa. It's *really* lovely!
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Ivanovich Sakharine
What else have you found out?
Tintin
What is there to find?
Ivanovich Sakharine
That depends what you're looking for.
Tintin
I'm looking for answers, Mr. Sakharine.
Ivanovich Sakharine
You're looking in the wrong place.
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Inspector Thompson
We haven't got a clue what he was working on.
Thomson
Quite right, Thompson. We're completely clueless
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Thomson
Steady on, Tintin. We're still filling out the paperwork.
Inspector Thompson
Police work's not all glamour and guns. There's an awful lot of filing.
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Tintin
I'm Tintin, by the way.
Captain Haddock
Haddock. Archibald Haddock.
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Tintin
Mrs. Finch! A man's been shot on our doorstep!
Mrs. Finch
Not again.
Tintin
Call an ambulance!
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Captain Haddock
I've been locked in this room for days with only whisky to sustain my mortal soul.
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Captain Haddock
Sir Francis had three sons. All but my bloodline failed. I am the last of the Haddocks!
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Captain Haddock
Poor, miserable wretch!
Tintin
Yes, all right. That's enough of that.
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Silk
A green one that I managed to pick from a pickpocket actually pickpocketing at the time.
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Silk
Smell it, won't you? Piggy leather!
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Captain Haddock
I know these waters better than the warts on my mother's face!
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Tintin
Well, this is a fine mess.
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Tintin
Which way to North Africa?
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Tintin
Captain! This may sound crazy, but I've got a plan. The alcohol in that bottle may give us a few more miles. I need you to climb out of the plane and pour it into the fuel tank.
Captain Haddock
Christopher Columbus!
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Captain Haddock
Troglodytes!
Tintin
Captain, get down.
Captain Haddock
Slave-traders! Mutant malingerers! Freshwater politicians!
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Captain Haddock
You do know what you're doing, eh, Tintin?
Tintin
More or less.
Captain Haddock
Well, which is it? More or less?
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Captain Haddock
She's got the wind behind her. Look at the pace she's settin'! Barely a day out of Barbados, a hold full of rum and the finest tobacco and the hearts of the sailors set for home.
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Tintin
You were telling me about what happened on the Unicorn.
Captain Haddock
The unicorn!
Tintin
Yes!
Captain Haddock
Ah! The stuff that dreams are made of. Wee children's dreams.
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Captain Haddock
By Jupiter, I have a beard! Since when did I have a beard?
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Captain Haddock
Geronimo! You double-dealing, pilfering parasites!
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Tintin
He left a clue. Three clues wrapped in a riddle, concealing a secret. But only a true Haddock would be able to solve it.
Captain Haddock
What secret?
Tintin
The location. To one of the greatest sunken treasures in all history.
Captain Haddock
The wreck of the Unicorn.
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Inspector Thompson
The upshot is we caught the thief, retrieved your wallet, and then hopped on the next plane to Bagghar.
Thomson
Yes, that pocket picker has picked his last pocket.
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Captain Haddock
Incoming falcon at four o'clock!
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Bianca Castafiore
Signor Salaad! What charming peasants. May I introduce my escort, Monsieur Shuggair Addeitiff. He's been very *passionate* in his support of this concert. It's my first visit to the Third World.
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Ivanovich Sakharine
Here's mud in your eye.
Captain Haddock
Fathead!
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Captain Haddock
You two-timin' troglodyte! You simperin' son of a poor-faced profiteer!
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Captain Haddock
What's the plan?
Tintin
There is no plan.
Captain Haddock
Of course there's a plan. You've always got a plan.
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Tintin
All we have to do is send that information to Interpol, they can track the signals and figure out which way they're headed.
Captain Haddock
Here comes Interpol now.
Inspector Thompson
Inspector Thompson, Thomson: Tintin!
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Captain Haddock
You'll never get away with this, you sour-faced Sassenach!
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