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Kinoafisha Films The House Bunny The House Bunny Movie Quotes

The House Bunny Movie Quotes

Shelley The eyes are the nipples of the face.

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Mrs. Hagstrom [about the college] This is not a brothel.

Shelley Oh, I'm not looking to make soup.

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Carrie Mae Do you guys know where the crapper is? I have to do a *very mysterious* thing in there...

[whispers]

Carrie Mae drop some timber.

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Shelley I don't think he likes me. He didn't fall for any of my tricks.

Natalie That's impossible. Your tricks always work.

Shelley I did sexy. I did other guys want me. I worked every angle in the book but, I don't know, he just stared.

Natalie What if Oliver is one of those guys who wants to have, like, a conversation with a girl before he hooks up with her.

Shelley He's gay?

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Shelley I gotta meet this freakin' bird!

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Shelley [puts on Natalie's glasses] God, you need to go to the eye doctor!

Natalie I did. That's where I got my glasses.

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Shelley Instead of the Mahi-Mahi, can I get just the one Mahi, because I'm not that hungry?

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Shelley Kindness is just love with its work boots on.

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Carrie Mae The only magic I ever did was try to figure out how to stay in college for nine years and not go back to my trailer park in Idaho.

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Tyler So, are you a Zeta?

Shelley Oh! I wish.

Tyler Yeah. I do too 'cause Zeta would be my favorite hizzity hang.

Natalie Well, she is not a Zeta because she's our new hizzity house mother. She'll be hizzy-tizzy - - She'll be here all the time.

Shelley You're hiring me?

[She hugs Natalie. The boys seem to like it and start making appreciative noises]

Natalie Why are they acting like that?

Shelley Boys just being boys. Thank goodness!

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Shelley Good morning, Pooter! You're looking dapper!

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Shelley Sweet balls!

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Shelley Manhole. I like that word. Manhole.

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Natalie We could tie our shoes together, our tennis shoes, and we could throw them over telephone wires. Because I see that everywhere and it seems like people would have fun doing that. Like, how hard can you throw? You know what I mean? Like how - what are you -

[stops herself]

Natalie [awkward pause]

Shelley Or we could go to a club.

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Natalie This is Harmony.

Shelley [frog voice] Harmony.

[Harmony looks disturbed]

Natalie And Carrie Mae.

Shelley [frog voice] Carrie Mae.

Natalie [points] And that's Joanne over there.

Shelley [frog voice] Joanne.

[Joanne waves distributively]

Natalie What is that? Is it like a Yoda, type of thing, I mean it's cool, fun, but?

Shelley Oh, it's just this thing I do to remember people's names.

[frog voice]

Shelley Natalie.

Mona [sarcastically] Wow, you hired the exorcist, that's great!

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Shelley [Talking to Oliver] Oh, wait here for a second, I think I dropped some money over here the other day. I just don't know wherever it could be. Maybe it's over here by this manhole...

[stands seductively on a steaming manhole]

Shelley Haaaa-ARGH! That is fucking hot!

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Shelley [while reading a letter] Dear Shelley. Oh my gosh, that's me! Wait there's more!

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Carrie Mae Do you guys know where the crapper is? I have to drop some timber.

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Shelley Natalie, Colby was following you around like a puppy dog. Do you guys think you'll, you know...

Natalie No. I do not think, you know, THAT.

Shelley That? Natalie, are you a virgin?

Natalie No. Am I a virgin? No.

Shelley You're a virgin!

[She says it a little too loudly and everyone in the quad stops in their tracks]

Natalie Shhh. It's like an amphitheater in here.

Shelley That's it. Oh my gosh. We have to have an Aztec party. We always wanted to have one at the mansion but we could never find a virgin to sacrifice.

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Shelley My heart is pounding like a nail!

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Natalie Shelley knows how to meet guys, hence, we will learn how to meet guys.

Shelley Yeah, hence!

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[from trailer]

Shelley They're kicking me out?

Marvin Maybe it's because of your age.

Shelley But I'm 27.

Marvin But that's 59 in Bunny Years.

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Shelley I'm an expert at parties and boys! I'm a bunny! Men write to me from prison, sometimes even in their own blood, which I think is theirs, but I don't know, I'm really nervous because I really want to help.

Natalie A-a bunny? You mean, like, centerfold?

Shelley Oh, bless your heart, no, just a few pictorials, like "Girls from the Midwest" and "Girls with GEDs."

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Harmony [Lilly whispered something about Shelley to her] No, that doesn't make her a hooker, sorry.

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Mrs. Hagstrom Don't mess with me. Don't mess with Phi Iota Mu.

Shelley Man! Someone needs a mani-pedi-massage combo PRONTO.

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Ashley It's been so nice meeting you.

Shelley But...

Ashley [cuts her off] ... so nice

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Oliver No, it's for senior citizens, you know, an old folks... for old people.

Shelley I know lots of old men - hairy and not-hairy. But I don't mean to brag.

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Mona You like what you see, stud?

Guy at bar Not really sure what I'm looking at, metal-face. Let me guess, is it a Hannibal Lecter thing?

Mona Yeah, it is.

[bites his arm]

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Shelley [Z from the sorority letters falls on her head] Ooh, what was that?

Natalie [coming outside] oh, yeah that happens like, ten times a day.

Shelley Oh, well... at least you've still got T and A!

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[from trailer]

Oliver You given any thought to who you might be voting for?

Shelley I definitely won't listen to what Simon says, he is just so mean. I usually always agree with Paula and Randy.

Shelley Oh, you meant the president.

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Mona You wanna get cut, bitch?

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Shelley Michelle, you know that feeling that I'm talking about? Where you suddenly feel pretty, and next thing you know, you feel better about yourself? Well, that was what was happening to me.

[shakes her head]

Shelley My allergic reaction made me feel pretty. And so I ignored all the bad side-effects, because suddenly people were *talking* to me, and they were noticing me... and even though I was itching like crazy... it was worth it, to feel accepted... and so, I couldn't wait to get a cold, so I could take my erythromycin. But underneath that beautiful glowing skin,

[shakes her head]

Shelley I still had that cold.

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Natalie [after getting their make-overs and everybody stares at them] So this is what it's like to be not invisible.

Harmony Oh, not invisible, just the anti-hot.

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