Lumpy's MomI always felt bad my son never met anyone to love, someone to love him back. It's really good to know that I was wrong.
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Ramsey[during Lumpy's funeral service]There are a lot of moments in life, and I didn't know Lumpy very long. Most of you probably had more time with him than I did, but... just because dying on a cactus was Lumpy's last moment doesn't mean it was his most important one.
KristinBut he wasn't your best friend. He was your oldest friend. There's a difference.
ScottI don't care what you call him. I knew Lumpy better than anyone.
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ScottI know you never got Lumpy. Okay? Let's just be honest. You didn't want him to be my best man.
KristinI didn't say that. What I said was, you two didn't spend much time together anymore.
ScottWhat does that mean? We're men. Men don't spend a lot of time together.
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Scott[taking out cellphone]Hey, will you hold this? It's Lumpy's. Then we can make some calls, just let people know what happened.
Kristin[browsing through cellphone]There are only six numbers stored. Two of them are for pizza delivery.
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WinstonLook at me. I come back from two back-to-back tours in Iraq last year, and I got shit. No job, no degree, no money... nothin'. All I have is respect, and from you...
RamseyMy mom says taking drugs for fun is okay, but taking them for problems is not. 'Cause once the drugs wear off, you still have the problem.
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RogerCould somebody please pass the Mrs. Dash? She might be hiding with Mr. Dash.
KristinOh, we don't know if there is a Mr. Dash, Dad. Maybe things didn't go too well after their wedding or something.
ScottWell, maybe Mr. Dash had some things on his mind, and things that he has to take care of.
KristinI just wonder if Mr. and Mrs. Dash didn't go on a honeymoon and then after that, stop communicating.
ScottMaybe Mrs. Dash should stop feeling sorry for herself.
KristinI think that Mrs. Dash is trying really hard and maybe feels under-appreciated.
Scott[raising voice slightly]Maybe Mrs. Dash should remember she's not the only spice in the spice rack.
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Roger[reminiscing about Lumpy]Boy looked like he was a lot of fun.
ScottHe was a lot of fun, Roger. He wasn't a boy though. He was a man.
KristinOf course he was a man.
ScottNo, no, no. He was a real man. Just because he drank a little too much, and quit law school and he got fired from his job, it doesn't make him less of a man. 'Cause he was a man, Kris.
KristinOkay. We understand and we know you're upset...
ScottYou wanted me to carry a purse, for Christ's sake.
KristinWhy would he carry a purse?
Kristin[raising voice]It was a man bag! And I was only pointing out that some men have found it efficient. They are in Europe mostly but...
ScottWe don't live in Europe. This is what I'm talking about. This is what I mean. Lumpy kept it real. He was a man.
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KristinYou have to get your job back.
ScottI can't get my job back! I don't want to get my job back! Keep shafting me on commissions, and I'm done. That's what Lumpy would have done.
KristinOh, well, by all means let's follow Lumpy's example. What has he done? He dropped out of law school. He got fired for embezzlement. Now I think he's committed statutory rape!
ScottYou know how we could afford Mexico? Lumpy gave me the money. He got us a honeymoon, and I can't even get his funeral right.
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Ramsey[during Lumpy's funeral service]He didn't tell anyone about his heart because he didn't want his friends or his family to worry. And if he only had a little time left to live, the last thing he wanted to be was a lawyer. He just wanted to fish and have fun.
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Scott[agitatedly]Of course it matters! What are you talking about?
KristinHe's gone, Scott.
ScottI know that. I just... Kris, he told a 15-year-old girl he was dying. He didn't tell me. I just wish he'd told me.
RamseyYou sure about that, Mom? Is it gonna get better like Milwaukee, where I got beat up every week? Or is it gonna get better like Rockford, where you got beat up every week?