Kinoafisha Films Heartburn Heartburn Movie Quotes

Heartburn Movie Quotes

Mark Forman [taking a very pregnant Rachel to the hospital] Just keep breathing, you can do it.

Rachel Samstat [panting] I don't want to do it, honey. Can't we get somebody else to do it?

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Mark Forman It's just that there's no door to the kitchen.

Contractor Laszlo The back door.

Mark Forman The back door. Yes. It's true. You can get into the kitchen... through the back door. This, we know is a kitchen. But you can't get inside the house from the kitchen! Now, how the fuck did this happen?

Rachel Samstat Mark. For God's sake. Laszlo, we thought that you could put a door here.

Contractor Laszlo She's a piece of cake. He's a piece of cake.

Rachel Samstat It's a piece of cake.

Contractor Laszlo You are Hungarian?

Rachel Samstat No. You are Hungarian.

Contractor Laszlo Yes.

Rachel Samstat Yes. Hungarians have no pronouns.

Mark Forman Apparently they don't have fucking doors, either.

Contractor Laszlo She is very angry at me.

Rachel Samstat He is very angry at you. Yes.

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Mark Forman When we're married, I want this once a week.

Rachel Samstat I'm never getting married again. I don't believe in marriage.

Mark Forman Neither do I.

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Mark Forman My wife's name was Kimberley. One of the first Kimberleys.

Rachel Samstat My husband had hamsters.

Mark Forman Me too.

Rachel Samstat Not as a grownup you didn't. He had hamsters named Arnold and Shirley. And he was always whipping up little salads for them in the Slice-O-Matic and buying them extremely small sweaters at a pet boutique in Rego Park. Also, there was a certain amount of talking in squeaky voices.

Mark Forman Both of you?

Rachel Samstat Well, he was Arnold... and I was Shirley.

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Mark Forman He has an unlisted address.

Rachel Samstat What are you talking about?

Mark Forman Oh, well, it's the latest thing.

Rachel Samstat What kind of person has an unlisted address?

Mark Forman I'll tell you what kind person. The kind that doesn't want to be dead. The kind people are trying to kill all the time.

Rachel Samstat Why are you angry at me for?

Mark Forman I'm not angry at you.

Rachel Samstat Then what you shouting at me for?

Mark Forman Because you're the only one that's here.

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Mark Forman What the fuck was that?

Rachel Samstat He has cancer.

Mark Forman Bullshit.

Rachel Samstat Mark.

Mark Forman It's bullshit!

Rachel Samstat People don't lie about things like that.

Mark Forman Contractors lie about everything. What'd he say, "I have cancer"?

Rachel Samstat Exactly.

Mark Forman Well, he probable meant that "he" has cancer.

Rachel Samstat Who?

Mark Forman How do I know? Someone. I don't know. His father.

Rachel Samstat His father's dead.

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Mark Forman We're having a baby.

Rachel Samstat Yeah.

Mark Forman Oh, baby!

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Mark Forman Let's sing - all the songs we know about babies.

Rachel Samstat I don't know any songs about babies.

Mark Forman [singing] Yes, sir

Mark Forman Mark Forman, Rachel Samstat: That's my baby, No, sir, I don't mean maybe, Yes, sir

Mark Forman That's my baby now

Rachel Samstat Oh, baby, you...

Mark Forman Nobody but you

Rachel Samstat [speaking] I don't know the rest.

Mark Forman [singing] Is you is or is you ain't my baby?

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Rachel Samstat I saw you on 'Meet the Press'.

Mark Forman I read your article about ice cream and I have to tell you, I disagree with you about Häagen-Dazs Rum Raisin.

Rachel Samstat What can I say?

Mark Forman You were so vicious about it.

Rachel Samstat I'm a vicious person.

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Julie When Arthur was having his little affair, every time he got on a plane, I would imagine the plane crash, the funeral, what I would wear at the funeral, flirting at the funeral, how soon I could start dating after the funeral.

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Rachel Samstat My sister always used to try to get me to have one. A nose job.

Mark Forman I love your nose.

Rachel Samstat Well, it goes with my face. I always say that, but it isn't true.

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Rachel Samstat Please, don't let this be happening. Please, just don't let this be happening. Why can't we go back to the way it was? I promise I'll be the way I was.

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Rachel Samstat I don't know how anybody gets anything going in this town. Nobody even *flirts* here.

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Betty The minute anyone hears your marriage is in trouble, you may as well have leprosy.