The Great Mouse Detective Movie Quotes
[last lines]
Dr. Dawson
[voice over]
From that time on, Basil and I were a close team. We had many cases together, but I'll always look back on that first with the most fondness; my introduction to Basil of Baker Street, the great mouse detective.
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Ratigan
Ah, the uniforms! Oh, Fidget, I knew I could rely on you. Now, you didn't forget anything?
Fidget
No problem. I took care of everything. Everything on the list...
[tries to display the list but, to his amazement, the list is gone]
Ratigan
What's wrong?
Fidget
The list... but I know I...
Ratigan
Where's the list?
Fidget
The list, yeah, yeah yeah. Well, you see it was like this. I was in the toy store getting uniforms when I heard a "aroo aroo".
Ratigan
[irritated]
You're not coming through.
Fidget
A dog came! I ran! I had baby bonnet, girl in bag, and Basil ch-chased me.
Ratigan
What? Basil on the case? Why, you gibbering, little... hm... hm... HMMMMM!
[restrains himself as Fidget cowers. Then suddenly calms down]
Ratigan
[chuckles]
Oh, my dear Fidget. You have been hanging upside down too long.
[lovingly scooping up Fidget he walks toward Felicia's lair]
Fidget
You mean you're not mad? I'm glad you're taking it so well.
[Ratigan rings the dinner bell to summon Felicia]
Fidget
[as he's being eaten]
Aaaah! Not me, you idiot! No, stop, you stupid furball! Open up! Open up! You're hurting my wings!
Ratigan
[rubbing his forehead]
How dare that idiot Basil poke his stupid nose into my wonderful scheme and foul up everything?
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Ratigan
I have the power!
Robot Queen
Of course you do.
Ratigan
I am supreme!
Robot Queen
Only you.
Ratigan
This is my kingdom!
[maniacal laugh]
Ratigan
That is, of course, with your highness' permission.
[the robot is idle; Ratigan slaps it to start it again]
Robot Queen
Most assuredly... you insidious fiend.
Ratigan
What?
Robot Queen
You're not my royal consort!
Ratigan
[to crowd]
Such a sense of humor.
Robot Queen
You're a cheap fraud & impostor!
Ratigan
[under his breath]
Flaversham!
Basil
[operating the robot]
A corrupt, vicious, demented, lowlife scoundrel. There's no evil scheme you wouldn't concoct.
[the robot goes crazy and breaks apart]
Robot Queen
No depravity you wouldn't commit. You, Professor, are none other than a foul stenchus rodentus, commonly known as a...
Ratigan
Don't say it!
Basil
[bursting out into the palace]
... Sewer rat!
Ratigan
AAAARRRRGH!
Basil
Arrest that fiend!
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Ratigan
Oh, I love it when I'm nasty. Fidget?
[Fidget snores]
Ratigan
FIDGET!
[Fidget wakes up, falling to the ground]
Ratigan
Bright and alert as always. Here's the list. You know what to do and no mistakes!
Fidget
No-no-no mistakes. Tools, gears, girl, uniforms...
Ratigan
NOW, FIDGET!
Fidget
I'm going, I'm going, I'm going!
[Fidget scurries off]
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Fidget
[after Olivia stomps on his toes]
Ow! My foot! My only foot!
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Basil
There's always a chance, Doctor, as long as one can think.
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Ratigan
Bravo! Bravo! A marvelous performance! Although I was expecting you fifteen minutes earlier. Trouble with the chemistry set, old boy?
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Ratigan
You don't know what a delightful dilemma it was, trying to decide on the most appropriate method for your demise. Oh, I had so many ingenious ideas I didn't know which to choose. So I decided to use them all. Marvelous, isn't it? Ha, ha! But, here, let me show you how it works. Picture this. First, a sprightly tune I've recorded especially for you. As the song plays, the cord tightens, and when the song ends, the metal ball is released, rolling along its merry way until...
[points at mousetrap]
Ratigan
Snap!
[points at gun]
Ratigan
Boom!
[points at crossbow]
Ratigan
Twang!
[points at axe]
Ratigan
Thunk!
[points at anvil]
Ratigan
Splat! And so ends the short, undistinguished career of Basil of Baker Street.
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Basil
Ratigan, no one can have a higher opinion of you than I have, and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
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Olivia Flaversham
Now will you please listen to me? My daddy's gone, and I'm all alone.
Basil
Young lady, this is a most inopportune time.
[Resumes playing violin]
Basil
Surely your mother knows where he is.
Olivia Flaversham
I... I don't have a mother.
Basil
[Stops playing with a screech]
Well, um... then perhaps... See here! I simply have no time for lost fathers.
Olivia Flaversham
I didn't lose him. He was taken by a bat.
Basil
Did you say... bat?
Olivia Flaversham
Yes.
Basil
Did he have a crippled wing?
Olivia Flaversham
I don't know, but he had a peg leg.
Basil
Ha!
Dr. Dawson
I say, do you know him?
Basil
Know him? That bat, one Fidget by name, is in the employ of the very fiend that was the target of my experiment! The horror of my every waking moment. The nefarious Professor Ratigan!
Dr. Dawson
Ratigan?
Basil
He's a genius, Dawson. A genius twisted for evil. The Napoleon of crime!
Dr. Dawson
As bad as all that, eh?
Basil
Worse! For years I've tried to capture him, and I've come close, so very close, but each time he's narrowly evaded my grasp! Not a corner of London is safe while Ratigan is at large. There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct. No depravity he wouldn't commit. Who knows what dastardly scheme that villian may be plotting even as we speak.
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Ratigan
Fidget, you delightful little maniac! You've provided me with a singular opportunity. Poor Basil. Oh, he's in for a little surprise.
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Dr. Dawson
Dash it all, Basil! The Queen's in danger, Olivia's counting on us, we're about to be horribly "splatted" and all you can do is lie there feeling sorry for yourself when I know you can save us. But if you've given up, then why don't we just set it off now and be done with it?
Basil
[feebly]
He he. "Set it off now." Set if off... now?
[triumphantly]
Basil
Ha ha! Yes! We'll set the trap off now!
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Ratigan
[reading a list of newly devised laws]
Item 96: A heavy tax shall be levied against all parasites and sponges, such as the elderly, the infirm, and especially little children.
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Basil
[concerning Professor Ratigan]
There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct! No depravity he wouldn't commit.
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Ratigan
Now, you will remember to smile for the camera, won't you? Say "Cheese".
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Dr. Dawson
Well, it's time I was on my way too.
Basil
But... umm... but I thought...
Dr. Dawson
Well, the case is over, and perhaps... well perhaps it's best I found my own living quarters.
Basil
But...
[Knock on door]
Basil
Oh, now who could that be?
[Dawson opens door; a lady mouse is standing there]
Lady Mouse
Is this the home of the famous Basil of Baker Street?
Dr. Dawson
Indeed it is, miss. You look as if you're in some kind of trouble.
Lady Mouse
Oh, I am. I am.
Dr. Dawson
Then you have come to precisely the right place.
Basil
Ah, allow me to introduce my trusted associate Dr. Dawson, with whom I do all of my cases. Isn't that right, doctor?
Dr. Dawson
Oh? Why, yes. By all means.
Basil
As you can see, Dawson, this young lady is from the Hampstead district, and is troubled about the mysterious disappearance of an emerald ring in the third finger of her right hand. Now, tell me the story, and pray, be precise.
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[henchmen cheer as Ratigan reviews his illustrious career]
Ratigan
Thank you, thank you. But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective, Basil of Baker Street!
Henchmen
Boo!
Ratigan
For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans, and I haven't had a moment's peace of mind.
Henchmen
Aaw...
Bartholomew
[cries]
Ratigan
But all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!
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Dr. Dawson
How the deuce did you know I was a doctor?
Basil
A surgeon to be exact. Just returned from military duty in Afghanistan. Am I right?
Dr. Dawson
Why, ha, ha, yes. Major David Q. Dawson. But how could you possibly...?
Basil
Quite simple, really. You've sewn your torn cuff together with a Lambert stich, which, of course, only a surgeon uses. And the thread is a unique form of cat-gut, easily distinguished by its peculiar pungency, found only in the Afghan provinces.
Dr. Dawson
Amazing!
Basil
Actually, it's elementary, my dear Dawson.
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[Ratigan has ridiculed Basil]
Dr. Dawson
You fiend!
Ratigan
Sorry, chubby. You should have chosen your friends more carefully.
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Olivia Flaversham
Goodbye, Basil.
[sniffles]
Olivia Flaversham
I... I'll never forget you.
Basil
Nor I you, Miss... Miss Flangerhanger.
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Dr. Dawson
[Voice over]
It was the eve of our beloved Queen's Diamond Jubilee, and the year Her Majesty's government came to the very brink of disaster. She... But I'm getting ahead of myself. My name is Doctor David Q. Dawson, most recently of the Queen's 66th regiment. I had just returned to London after a lenghty service in Afghanistan, and was looking for a place to stay, preferably dry. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever.
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Henchmen
[singing] Oh Ratigan, oh Ratigan / You're tops, and that's that / To Ratigan, to Ratigan...
Bartholomew
To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat! Hic!
[Ratigan does spit take; the henchmen turn in terror]
Ratigan
What was that?
Bartholomew
Hic!
Ratigan
What did you call me?
Henchmen
Oh, he didn't mean it, Professor!
Henchman #2
It... it was just a slip of the tongue.
Ratigan
I am not a rat!
Henceman #3
Course you're not.
Thug Guard
You're a mouse.
Henchman #2
Yeah, a-a big mouse.
Ratigan
Silence!
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Olivia Flaversham
You know, Daddy, this is my very best birthday!
Hiram Flaversham
Ah, but I haven't given you your present yet.
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Ratigan
Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby. Did daddy's little honey-bunny enjoy her tasty treat?
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Dr. Dawson
Scoundrel's quite gone.
Basil
But not for long, Miss Flamhammer!
Olivia Flaversham
Flaversham!
Basil
Whatever.
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Basil
Now, Toby, sit!
[Toby doesn't sit]
Basil
[sternly]
Toby... sit!
Olivia Flaversham
Sit, Toby!
[Toby sits]
Basil
Good boy...
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Basil
Dawson, these drinks have been... drugged!
[Dawson has drunken his mug of drugged beer]
Basil
Get a hold of yourself, Dawson!
Dr. Dawson
Oh... bravo! Bravo!
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Hiram Flaversham
You can do what you want with me. I won't be a part of this-this... this evil any longer!
[Ratigan is getting extremely angry and impatient, but composes himself and grins]
Ratigan
Oh, very well, if that is your decision.
[pulls out Olivia's toy ballerina and winds it up]
Ratigan
Oh, by the way, I'm taking the liberty of having your daughter brought here.
Hiram Flaversham
O... Olivia?
Ratigan
Yes. I would spend many a sleepless night if anything unfortunate were to befall her.
Hiram Flaversham
You... Y-You wouldn't!
[Ratigan crushes the ballerina in his hand and looks at it with mock pity, then briefly at Flaversham]
Ratigan
[abruptly leans in threateningly and shouts]
FINISH IT, FLAVERSHAM!
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Ratigan
Oh, my dear Bartholomew. I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me.
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Ratigan
My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy!
[henchmen cheer]
Ratigan
Tomorrow evening, our beloved monarch celebrates her Diamond Jubilee. And with the enthusiastic help of our good friend, Mr. Flaversham...
[henchmen chuckle]
Ratigan
...it promises to be a night she'll never forget.
[burns picture of Queen with cigarette]
Ratigan
Her last night, and my first as supreme ruler of all mousedom!
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Basil
[Regarding Fidget's note]
Offhand I can deduce very little, Only that the words are written with a broad-tip quill pen that has spattered, twice; that the paper is of native Mongolia manufacture, no watermark; and has
[smacks his lips against the paper]
Basil
been gummed, if I'm very much in error...
[smells paper]
Basil
...by a bat who has been drinking Rodent's Delight, a cheap brandy served only in the seediests pubs.
Dr. Dawson
Hmm. Amazing.
Basil
Oh, not really, doctor. We still don't know where it came from. Perhaps a closer inspection will tell us something.
[Looks at note under microscope]
Basil
Coal dust, clearly of the type used in sewer lamps.
[Takes note and sets it on fire]
Dr. Dawson
Basil!
Basil
Shh. Don't speak.
[He grinds the ashes in a crucible and pours them into a beaker]
Basil
Excuse me, Doctor.
[Takes beaker and a bottle of liquid]
Basil
Steady hand...
[pours a drop into beaker and sets it at the other end of a pipe; he boils a liquid on the other end, watching as it goes through the pipe]
Basil
Come on, come on. Good, bad, bad, good. Come on, come on, come on.
[Liquid finally reaches beaker; chemical explodes]
Basil
Aha! We've done it, old fellow! This chemical reaction could only be triggered by the paper's extreme saturation with distilation of sodium chloride.
Dr. Dawson
Salt water? Great Scott.
Basil
It proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, this note came from the riverfront area.
[Pins a map of the river on the wall]
Dr. Dawson
Now, steady on, Basil...
Basil
No, it's elementary, Dawson. We simply look for a seedy pub at the only spot...
[Pins dart on map]
Basil
...where the sewer connects with the riverfront.
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Basil
Aha, Dawson! We've found it at last. Ratigan's secret lair. And it's filthier than I imagined.
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Olivia Flaversham
I'm coming too!
Basil
What? Certainly not! This is no business for children.
Olivia Flaversham
Are we going to take a cab?
Basil
[groans]
My dear, I don't think you understand - it will be quite dangerous!
[he sits on his violin, breaking it in two]
Basil
Why, you...! Look at...!
[restraining himself]
Basil
Young lady... you are most definitely NOT accompanying us! And that is FINAL!
[cut to next scene of Olivia with Basil]
Basil
And not a word out of you.
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Basil
Don't worry, old fellow. It's not *entirely* hopeless.
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Dr. Dawson
You're... despicable!
Ratigan
Hehe... Yes.
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Ratigan
[standing atop Big Ben, having thrown Basil off]
I've won!
[laughs maniacally]
Basil
[hanging from the severed blimp's propeller]
On the contrary! The game's not over yet!
[clock shifts and tolls the hour]
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Fidget
I'm going! I'm going! I'm going!
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Bar Maid
What'll you have?
Dr. Dawson
I'll have a dry sherry, with, oh, perhaps a twist of...
Basil
Two pints for me and my shipmate. Oh, by the way. We just got into port. We're looking for an old friend of mine. Maybe you know him. Goes by the name... of Ratigan!
[Everyone at the bar gasps and turn to Basil]
Bar Maid
I... never heard of him.
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Dr. Dawson
Oh, my! Upon my word. I've never seen so many toys.
Basil
Behind any of which could lurk a blood-thirsty assassin! So, please, Doctor, be very careful.
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Sherlock Holmes
I observe that there is a good deal of German music on the program. It is quite introspective, and I want to introspect.
Dr. Watson
But, Holmes, that music is so frightfully dull.
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Dr. Dawson
What-what-what did he mean an engagement at Buckingham Palace?
Basil
Haven't you figured it out yet, Doctor? The Queen's in danger and the empire is doomed.
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Olivia Flaversham
Silly Doggie!
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Basil
Miss Flamchester!
Olivia Flaversham
Olivia Flaversham, Dr. Dawson: Flaversham!
Basil
Whatever.
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Fidget
Here you are, sweetheart.
The Mouse Queen
Have you... been with us... long?
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Basil
[enraged]
Ratigan, so help me, I'll see you behind bars yet!
Ratigan
[face gets close to Basil's]
You fool!
Ratigan
[grabs Basil by the collar and lifts him off of the ground]
Ratigan
Isn't it clear to you? The superior mind has triumphed! I've won!
Ratigan
[laughs evilly]
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Ratigan
[confronting Basil at the clock tower]
There's no escape THIS time, Basil.
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[Fidget gets tired of pedaling Ratigan's airship]
Fidget
[gesturing at Olivia]
We have to lighten the load.
Ratigan
Oh, you want to lighten the load? Excellent idea.
[grabs Fidget and throws him overboard]
Fidget
No! Not me! Wait, I can't fly! I can't fly!
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Basil
Ratigan, no-one has a higher opinion of you than I do.
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Basil
[pointing to a pinhole in a glass on the toy shop window]
Aha! Here is our friend's entrance.
Dr. Dawson
Bu-But, Basil, how could he fit in through such a tiny...?
Basil
Observe, Doctor.
[plugs Dawson's finger on the hole; as he pulls it away, the glass slides open]
Dr. Dawson
Basil, you astound me!
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Ratigan
Stay where you are, or the girl dies!
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