Scent of a Woman 1992 - Movie Quotes

[Charlie refused to come clean with the names of the students responsible for the prank; Mr. Trask is furious]

Mr. Trask [furious] I am left with no real witness. Mr. Willis's testimony is not only vague, it is unsubstantiated. The substance I was looking for, Mr. Simms, was to come from you.

Charlie Simms [remorseful] I'm sorry.

Mr. Trask I'm sorry too, Mr. Simms, because you know what I am going to do. In as much as I can't punish Mr. Havemeyer, Mr. Potter, or Mr. Jameson, and I won't punish Mr. Willis. He's the only party to this incident who is still worthy of calling himself a Baird man. I'm going to recommend to the disciplinary committee that you be expelled. Mr. Simms, you are a cover-up artist and you are a liar.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade But not a snitch.

Mr. Trask Excuse me?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade No, I don't think I will.

Mr. Trask Mr. Slade...

Lt. Col. Frank Slade This is such a crock of SHIT.

Mr. Trask Please watch your language, Mr. Slade. You are in the Baird School, not a barracks. Mr Simms, I will give you one last opportunity to speak up.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Mr. Simms doesn't want it. He desn't need to labeled, "Still worthy of being a Baird man". What the hell is that? What is your motto here? "Boys, inform on your classmates, save your hide. Anything short of that, we're gonna burn you at the stake"? Well, gentlemen, when the shit hits the fan, some guys run and some guys stay. Here's Charlie facing the fire and there's George hiding in Big Daddy's pocket. And what are you doing? You're gonna reward George and destroy Charlie.

Mr. Trask Are you finished, Mr. Slade?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade No, I'm just gettin' warmed up. I don't know who went to this place, William Howard Taft, William Jennings Bryan, William Tell, whoever. Their spirit is dead, if they ever had one. It's gone. You're building a rat ship here. A vessel for seagoing snitches, and if you think you're preparing these minnows for manhood, you better think again, because I say you are killing the very spirit this institution proclaims it instills. What a sham. What kind of a show you guys are putting on here today? I mean, the only class in this act is sitting next to me, and I'm here to tell ya this boy's soul is intact. It's non-negotiable. You know how I know? Someone here, and I'm not gonna say who, offered to buy it. Only Charlie here wasn't selling.

Mr. Trask Sir, you're out of order.

[Trask hits the gavel; Col. Slade stands up angry]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Out of order. I'll show YOU "out of order"! You don't know what "out of order" is, Mr. Trask. I'd show you, but I'm too old, I'm too tired, I'm too fucking blind. If I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a...

Lt. Col. Frank Slade [slams his cane on the desk, screaming] FLAMETHROWER to this place! Out of order? Who the hell do ya think you're talking to? I've been around, ya know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen. Boys like these, younger than these. Their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there is nothing like the sight of an amputated spirit. There's no prostetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot solder back home to Oregon with tail between his legs, but I say you are executing his SOUL! And why? Because he's not a Baird man. Baird men. You hurt this boy, you're gonna be Baird bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are, fuck you too!

[the student body and the committee are in shock as Trask's anger is further aggravated]

Mr. Trask [yells; hits the gavel three times] Stand down, Mr. Slade!

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I'm not finished! As I came in here, I heard those words, "Cradle of Leadership". Well, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. And it has fallen here. It has fallen. Makers of men, Creators of leaders. Be careful what kind of leaders you're producing here. I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong. I'm not a judge or jury, but I can tell you this: He won't sell anybody out to buy his future! And that, my friends, is called integrity. That's called courage. Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of. Now I have come to the crossroads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew. But I never took it. You know why? It was too damn hard. Now here's Charlie. He's come to the crossroads. He has chosen a path. It's the right path. It's a path made of principle that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey. You hold this boy's future in your hands, committee. It's a valuable future. Believe me. Don't destroy it. Protect it. Embrace it. It's gonna make you proud one day, I promise you.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade [inhales deeply through nose] Women! What can you say? Who made 'em? God must have been a fuckin' genius. The hair.. They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls - just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips. And when they touched, yours were like - that first swallow of wine - after you just crossed the desert. Tits. Hooah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs. I don't care if they're Greek columns or secondhand Steinways. What's between 'em: passport to heaven. I need a drink. Yes, Mr Simms, there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy. Hah! Are you listenin' to me, son? I'm givin' ya pearls here.

Charlie Simms I guess you really like women.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Oh, above all things! A very, very distant second - is a Ferrari. Charlie? Give me your hand. This is just the start of your education, son.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade The day we stop lookin', Charlie, is the day we die.

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[repeated line]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Hooah!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Remember, when in doubt, fuck.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Clear them little bottles off. And when I get off the phone here, call up Hyman and tell him I want it wall to wall with John Daniels.

Charlie Simms Don't you mean Jack Daniels?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade He may be Jack to you son, but when you've known him as long as I have... that's a joke.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Oh, uh, Charlie - about your little problem - there are two kinds of people in this world: those who stand up and face the music, and those who run for cover. Cover is better.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade [Frank plans to kill himself and Charlie as well but hesitates] You don't wanna die.

Charlie Simms Neither do you.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Give me one good reason not to.

Charlie Simms I'll give you two. You can dance the tango and drive a Ferrari better than anyone I've ever seen.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade You never seen anyone do either.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Oh, where do I go from here, Charlie?

Charlie Simms If you're tangled up, just tango on.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade You askin' me to dance, Charlie?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Are you blind? Are you blind?

Charlie Simms Of course not.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Then why do you keep grabbing my goddamn arm? I take your arm.

Charlie Simms I'm sorry.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Don't be sorry. How would you know? You've been watching MTV all your life.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade [Lt. Col. Frank Slade is speaking in defense of Charlie Simms at meeting at the Baird School] Now I have come to the cross-roads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew, but I never took it. You know why? It was too damn hard. Now here's Charlie. He's come to the cross-roads. He has chosen a path. It's the right path. It's a path made of principle that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade I asked you a question. Do you want me to adopt ya or don't ya?

Charlie Simms Please? I mean, you're just in a slump right now.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Slump? No slump Charlie. I'm bad. I'm not bad no. I'm rotten.

Charlie Simms You're not bad. You're just in pain.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade What do you know about pain? hmm? You little snail darter from the pacific northwest. What the fuck you know about pain?

Charlie Simms Let me have the gun Colonel.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade [Frank cocks the .45] No time to grow a dick son.

Charlie Simms Just give me the gun all right Colonel?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade [Charlie begins to move towards Frank] I'm talking a parade ground. Ten-hut!

[Charlie stops moving then begins again]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Soldier. That was a direct order.

Charlie Simms Give me the gun?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade You can stay or you can leave. You understand? Either way I'm gonna do this thing. Now why don't you leave and spare yourself?

Charlie Simms I want your gun Colonel.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I'm gonna give myself a count. You need a count for balance. Five, four, three, two, one. Fuck it.

[He raises the gun to his head and Charlie lunges for it. They struggle with it across the room]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Gimmie it. Fuck it!

[He gets the gun away from Charlie and points it at him]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Get outta here!

Charlie Simms I'm staying right here!

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Get outta here!

Charlie Simms I'm staying right here

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I'll blow your fuckin' head off.

Charlie Simms Then do it. You wanna do it? Do it. Let's go

Lt. Col. Frank Slade [Frank pulls the hammer on the gun back] Fuck! Get outta here!

Charlie Simms So you fucked up all right? So what? So everybody does it. Get on with your life would ya?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade [screaming] What life? I got no life! I'm in the dark here. You understand? I'm in the dark!

Charlie Simms So give up. You wanna give up? Give up 'cause I'm giving giving up too. You said I'm through you're right I *am* through. It's all over. So let's get on with it. Let's fuckin' do it! Fuckin' pull the trigger you miserable blind motherfucker. Pull the trigger.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Here we go Charlie.

Charlie Simms I'm ready.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade I detect a fragrance in the air. Don't tell me what it is. Ogilvie Sisters soap.

Donna Ah, that's amazing.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Well, I'm in the amazing business.

Donna It is Ogilvie Sisters soap. My grandmother gave me three bars for Christmas.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I'm crazy about your grandmother.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade [Randy brings Frank a glass of whiskey] Thank you Randy. You still with Snowqueen Sugar?

Randy Snowflake. How come you always get that wrong?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Because it's not important for me to get it right.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Out of order, I show you out of order. You don't know what out of order is, Mr. Trask. I'd show you, but I'm too old, I'm too tired, I'm too fuckin' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a FLAMETHROWER to this place! Out of order? Who the hell do you think you're talkin' to? I've been around, you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen. Boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, but I say you are... executin' his soul! And why? Because he's not a Bairdman. Bairdmen. You hurt this boy, you're gonna be Baird bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are out there, FUCK YOU TOO!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade [at the Thanksgiving family table, after recommending Randy "go down" on his wife] You've gotten so wrapped up in the sugar business, you've forgotten the taste of real honey!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade You have a conscience. I forgot. The Charlie Conscience. Do we tell? Do we not tell? Do we follow the rich boy's code or not? Do we let this blind asshole - die or not? Yeah. Conscience, Charlie. When were you born, son? Around the time of the Round Table? Ha! Haven't you heard? *Conscience* is de-ad.

Charlie Simms No, I haven't heard.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Well, then, take the fuckin' wax outta your ears! Grow up! It's fuck your buddy, cheat on your wife, call your mother on Mother's Day. Charlie, it's all shit.

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Randy You want to know the truth?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade You got a handle on that, do you, Randy?

Randy He was an asshole before.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Hooah!

Randy Now all he is is a blind asshole.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Hooah!

Randy Hey, God's a funny guy.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade God doth have a sense of humor.

Randy Maybe God thinks some people don't deserve to see.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Hooah! Hah!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade How's your skin, son? I like my aides to be presentable.

Charlie Simms Well, I - I've had a few zits. Um, but my roommate, he lent me his Clinique because he's from...

Lt. Col. Frank Slade "The History of My Skin", by Charles Simms.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Goodbye, Willie. I'm no fucking good. I never have been.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Don't shrug, imbecile. I'm blind. Save your body language for the bimbi.

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[Charlie comes back to the room to see Frank putting on his uniform]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade You're back too fast. You didn't get my cigars, did you? Get outta here, Charlie.

[loads the .45]

Charlie Simms I thought we had a deal.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I welched. I'm a welcher. Didn't I tell you?

Charlie Simms No, what you told me was, that you gave me all the bullets.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I lied.

Charlie Simms Yeah, well you could've fooled me.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade And I did.

[pause]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Charlie, how you ever gonna survive in this world without me?

Charlie Simms Colonel, why don't you just give me the gun, all right?

[Frank picks up the gun and points it at Charlie]

Charlie Simms What are you doing?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I'm gonna shoot you, too. Your life's finished anyway. Your friend George is gonna sing like a canary. And so are you. And once you've sung, Charlie, my boy, you're gonna take your place on that long, grey line of American manhood. And then you will be through.

Charlie Simms I'd hate to disagree with you, Colonel.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade You're in no position to disagree with me, boy. I got a loaded .45 here. You got pimples. I'm gonna kill you, Charlie, cause I can't bear the thought of you SELLIN' OUT!

Charlie Simms [now firm] Put the gun down, all right, Colonel?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade What? You givin' me an ultimatum?

Charlie Simms No, I'm...

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I give the ultimatums!

Charlie Simms I'm sorry. All right I'm sorry.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade It's all right, Charlie. You break my heart, son. All my life I've stood up to everyone and everything, because it made me feel *important*. You do it... because you mean it. You've got integrity, Charlie. I don't know whether to shoot you or adopt ya.

Charlie Simms Not much of a choice, is it, sir?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Oh, don't get cute now.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Then, I'm going to lie down on my big beautiful bed at the Waldorf - and blow my brains out...

Charlie Simms Colonel Slade did you say - did I hear you right? You said you're going to kill yourself?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade No! I said I'm going to blow my brains out.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong; I'm not a judge or jury. But I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out to buy his future!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Can't believe they're my blood. I.Q. of sloths and the manners of banshees. He's a mechanic, she's a homemaker. He knows as much about cars as a beauty queen, and she bakes cookies, taste like wing nuts. As for the tots, they're twits.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade It's a great day for singing a song / It's a great day for moving along / It's a great day for morning to night / It's a great day for everybody's plight.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Your father pedals car telephones at a 300 percent markup. Your mother works on heavy commission at a camera store. Graduated to it from espresso machines. Hah!

[pause]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade What are you, dying of some wasting disease?

Charlie Simms No, I'm right - I'm right here.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I know exactly where your body is. What I'm looking for is some indication of a brain. Too much football without a helmet? Hah! Lyndon's line on Gerry Ford. Deputy debriefer, Paris, peace talks, '68. Snagged a silver star and a silver bar. Threw me into G-2.

Charlie Simms G-2?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Intelligence. Of which you have none.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Uh-oh, we got a moron here.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Well, gentlemen, when the shit hits the fan, some guys run and some guys stay.

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Mr. Trask Mr. Simms?

Charlie Simms [clears throat] Yes, sir.

Mr. Trask You don't wear contact lenses, do you?

Charlie Simms No.

Mr. Trask With your untrammeled sight, whom did you see?

Charlie Simms I s-saw something. I... couldn't say who.

Mr. Trask All right, what was the "something" you saw?

Charlie Simms [mumbles] I couldn't...

Mr. Trask You couldn't say or you wouldn't say?

Charlie Simms [frustrated] I just couldn't say.

Mr. Trask [turns angry] Couldn't wouldn't, shouldn't. Mr. Simms, you are exhausting my patience and you are making a mockery of these proceedings. I will give one last chance. The consequences of your response will be dire! By dire, Mr. Simms, I mean your future will be jeopardized permanently! Now for the last time, what did you see last Tuesday night outside my office?

Charlie Simms [under pressure] I saw somebody.

Mr. Trask "I saw somebody." Good. Did you see their size and shape?

Charlie Simms Yeah.

Mr. Trask And they were the size and shape of whom?

Charlie Simms They were the size and shape...

[Charlie pauses for a moment, but then still refuses to come clean with the truth]

Charlie Simms of most any Baird student, sir.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade You know what's kept me goin' all these years? The thought that one day... Never mind.

Charlie Simms The what?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Silly. Just the thought that maybe one day, I'd - I could have a woman's arms wrapped around me and her legs wrapped around me.

Charlie Simms And what?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade That I could wake up in the morning and she'd still be there. Smell of her. All funky and warm. I finally gave up on it.

Charlie Simms I don't know why you can't have that. When we get back to New Hampshire, I don't know why you can't find someone. You're a good-lookin' guy and you're fun to be with and you're a great travel companion. Sensitive, compassionate.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Charlie, are you fuckin' with me?

Charlie Simms Yes.

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[Headmaster Trask drives into the Baird School driveway in his brand-new Jaguar. He gets out, to hear a voice on a loudspeaker]

Jimmy Jameson [on loudspeaker, but unidentified] Mister Trask is our fearless leader.

[students hear this and gather, looking on at Trask]

Jimmy Jameson A man of learning, a voracious reader. He can recite "The Iliad" in ancient Greek, while fishing for trout in a rippling creek.

Trent Potter [Trask grins slightly, trying to figure out where the voice is coming from] Endowed with wisdom, of judgement sound, nevertheless about him, the questions abound.

[We now see the same three Baird guys who set up this prank the night before; Harry opens the valve to an oxygen tank connected to a large balloon on a lamppost as Trent passes the microphone to him]

Harry Havemeyer How does Mister Trask make such wonderful deals? Why did the trustees buy him Jaguar wheels? He wasn't conniving, he wasn't crass... he merely puckered his lips... and kissed their ass!

[balloon spins around to reveal a cartoon bearing the words being spoken; the students laugh and mock Trask]

Harry Havemeyer [Trask pulls out his car keys and opens the Jaguar door, then jumps up to try to pop the balloon with the key. He misses on the first try. On the second try, he succeeds, and a flood of white paint splashes down onto him and all over the car. The students applaud loudly and shout obscenities at him as this catastrophe concludes with Trask kicking the car door closed and attempting to dry his face with handkerchief]

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Just call me Frank. Call me Mr. Slade. Call me... Colonel, if you must. Just don't call me "Sir."

Charlie Simms All right, Colonel.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade You patronizing me, peewee? Hmm? You givin' me that old prep school palaver? Baird School. A bunch of runny-nosed snots in tweed jackets all studyin' to be George Bush.

Charlie Simms Well, I believe President Bush went to Andover, Colonel.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade You sharpshootin' me, punk? Is that what you're doin'? Don't you sharpshoot me. You'll give me 40. Then you're gonna give me 40 more. Then you're gonna pull K.P. The grease pit! I'll rub your nose in enlisted men's crud till you don't know which end is up! You understand?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Touch me again, I'll kill ya, you little son-of-a-bitch! *I* touch you. Understand?

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[repeated line]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Where's the booze? Flowin' like mud around here.

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Charlie Simms Colonel Slade? Watch out! You'll get us killed!

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Don't blame me, Charlie, I can't see!

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Randy [Frank and Charlie have arrived unexpected at Frank's brother's house for Thanksgiving. Randy opens the door and the smile on his face disappears] Yes?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Yes! Who is this?

Randy It's Randy.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Randy? You new?

Randy I'm your nephew.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Hah! Here I am. Your sister's been hoarding me long enough. Tught it's time to spread the riches around.

Gail [Comes around the door] Uncle Frank.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Gloria.

Gail [upset at having to correct him] Gail.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Of course.

[enters into the house]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Say "hello" to the potluck party from New York City. Good ol' Uncle Frank and this here with him is Charlie Simms, star halfback of the Baird School football team. They not only beat Exeter and Grotin this year, but Aquinas High School too.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Next time... snap it out! Thumb to palm, index finger, through little digit, smartly aligned, sharp to the hairline, down!... Too many men, far better than you, have executed that courtesy. And if you're smart, you won't try it again.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade How's your skin, son?

Charlie Simms My skin, sir?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Oh, for Christ's sake.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Tickets. Money. Speech. Old Washington joke... from my days with Lyndon.

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Christine Downes I'm Christine Downes, Col. Slade, I teach political science. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you coming down here and speaking your mind.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Why, thank you. Are you married?

[Christine reacts with embarrassment, slightly taken aback]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Went to an artillery school at Fort Sill with a Mickey Downes. Thought he might have snagged you.

Christine Downes [laughing] No. No, I'm afraid not.

Charlie Simms Col. Slade was on Lyndon Johnson's staff, Miss Downes.

Christine Downes Were you? Fascinating!

Lt. Col. Frank Slade We should get together. Talk politics sometime.

[He inhales her perfume subtly]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Fleurs de Rocaille.

Christine Downes Yes.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Flowers from a book.

Christine Downes That's right!

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Well, Miss Downes, I... I'll know where to find you. Charlie?

Charlie Simms Goodbye, Miss Downes.

Christine Downes Bye!

Lt. Col. Frank Slade [as Charlie and Slade are walking away:] You don't have to tell me, Charlie; five seven, auburn hair, beautiful brown eyes.

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Charlie Simms How are you feeling today, Colonel?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Super! Superior! Superfluous!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade [while exiting the limousine, from the ride home] Yabba dabba doo.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Your father peddles car telephones at a 300 percent markup. Your mother works on heavy commission at a camera store. Graduated to it from espresso machines. Hah!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade [at Charlie's disciplinary hearing] This is such a croc of shit!

Mr. Trask Mr. Slade, you are in the Baird School. Not a barracks.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Would you like to learn to tango, Donna?

Donna Right now?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I'm offering you my services, free of charge. What do you say?

Donna I think I'd be a little afraid.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Of what?

Donna Afraid of making a mistake.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade No mistakes in the tango, Donna. Not like life. It's simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, get all tangled up, just tango on. Why don't you try? Will you try it?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Do you mind if we join you? I'm feelin' you're being neglected.

Donna Well, I'm expecting somebody.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Instantly?

Donna No, but any minute now.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Any minute? Some people live a lifetime in a minute. What are you doin' right now?

Donna I'm waiting for him.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Would you mind if we waited with you, just to keep the womanizers from bothering you?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade I thought it was a Mom-and-Pop store. Who's the Pop?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Truth is, not only can he dance, but he'll sing you a hell of a tune. He can do bird calls and imitate Bela Lugosi.

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Charlie Simms Let's go out and do something, huh? Let's go for a ride. Yeah, a ride.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade A ride?

Charlie Simms Yeah, Colonel Slade, what do you say? Let's go for a ride, huh?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade What kind of ride?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Well, fuck him. He's dead and I'm blind.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Don't fuck with me, Charlie. See you get a good night's sleep, son.

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George Willis, Jr. Hey, Chas. Next year you gotta come up with us. White powder on a base of snow bunnies.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Still here, Poor-mouth? Hmm? Convenience store, my ass! Hustlin' jalapeno dips to the appleseeds.

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Charlie Simms Where did you get a gun, Colonel?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Piece or weapon, Charlie. Never gun.

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Charlie Simms Where you guys going skiing again? Sugarloaf or...

George Willis, Jr. It's bush, Chas, bush. Sugarbush.

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Harry Havemeyer Ah, this is pathetic. Now he's a loser *with* a Jaguar.

George Willis, Jr. No, seriously, who did he have to blow to get that thing?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade What does your Daddy do in Gresham, Oregon? Count wood chips?

Charlie Simms My stepfather and my mom run a convenience store.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Oh, how convenient.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade What are you drinkin'?

Charlie Simms Nothing, thanks. I don't use it.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade What's useful about it?

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Charlie Simms So, why are we going to New York?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade All information will be given on a need-to-know basis. Hooah!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Where's Daphne? Let's get her down here.

Charlie Simms [looks around the plane] She's in the back.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade A tail's in the tail. Hah! Ooh, but I still smell her.

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Jimmy Jameson It's gonna take at least three grand to get there. I'll have to talk to my father.

Harry Havemeyer Better yet, why don't you have my father talk to your father.

George Willis, Jr. Or my father talk to your father.

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George Willis, Jr. You going home to fuckin' Idaho for Thanksgiving?

Charlie Simms I'm from Oregon.

George Willis, Jr. I meant fuckin' Oregon.

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Harry Havemeyer On major holidays, Willis, it's customary for the 'Lord of the Manor' to offer drippings to the poor.

George Willis, Jr. You're so full of shit!

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Harry Havemeyer Charlie, how do you feel about skiing? You in the mood for the white-bosomed slopes of Vermont?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade oint is, how do you afford it, even with the student aid and the folks back home hustlin' corn nuts?

Charlie Simms I won a Young American merit scholarship.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Hooah!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade So, what are you doing here in this sparrow-fart town?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Yes. Mmm. Some kind of body has got to go with that bedroom voice.

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George Willis, Jr. You're on scholarship from Oregon - at Baird. You're a long way from home, Chas.

Charlie Simms Well, what's that got to do with anything?

George Willis, Jr. I don't know how it works out there. But how it works here? We stick together. It's us against them, no matter what. We don't cover our ass. We don't tell our parents. Stonewall everybody! And above all, never, ever leave any of us - twisting in the wind. And that's it.

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George Willis, Jr. You know what he's doing? He's good-cop, bad-coppin' us. He knows I'm old guard. You're fringe. He's gonna bear down on me and soft-soap you. Did he try to soft-soap you? Did he?

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Charlie Simms olonel, you bought me a ticket? I never said I'd go to New York.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade What are you, some kind of chicken-shit, sticks to job description only?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade To tell or not to tell, or it's your ass. Hmm?

Charlie Simms How'd you know that?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I'm a wizard.

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Charlie Simms How did you know her name?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Well, she's wearin' Floris. Now, that's an English cologne. But her voice - is California chickie. Now, California chickie bucking for English lady. I call her Daphne.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Oh, big things may happen - to that little thing of yours.

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Charlie Simms Colonel, where are we going?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Where are we going? Freak Show Central.

Charlie Simms Where's that?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade New York City. That's in New York, son. New York State.

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Karen Rossi No 900 numbers. He loves to talk dirty.

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Charlie Simms Where are we?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Where are we, eh? The cynosure of all things civilized. The Waldorf-Astoria.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade What's the matter with you?

Charlie Simms With me?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Yeah. Car feels heavy. You know why? You got the fuckin' weight of the world on your shoulders.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade It's not really a plan, Charlie. It's sort of a - more like a tour, a little tour of pleasures. Stay in a first-class hotel, eat an agreeable meal, drink a nice glass of wine, see my big brother. Nothing like family, you know. And then, make love to a terrific woman.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Manny. The bellhops at the Waldorf, are they any good at getting escorts?

Manny I wouldn't know, sir.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade What would you know?

Manny About what?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade About you-know-what?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Unpack my bag. I'm gonna christen the latrine.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade When George Willis, Senior, is not busy as a million-dollar man for Aetna Casualty - or is it New England distributor for the Chrysler Corporation - he concerns himself with his young son, George Willis, Jr.

Charlie Simms Well, George isn't going to say anything to his father.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Oh, Charlie. Big George is gonna wind up little George, and little George is gonna sing like a canary. And if you're hip, kid, you're gonna hop to, too.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Next time snap it out! Thumb to palm, index finger through little digit, smartly aligned, sharp to the hairline, down! Too many men, far better than you, have executed that courtesy.

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George Willis, Jr. For now, the move's no move, status quo. Everything's the way we left it.

Charlie Simms How did we leave it?

George Willis, Jr. See no evil, hear no eviI. You know what I mean, Chas?

Charlie Simms Yeah. See no evil, hear no evil.

George Willis, Jr. Okay, then, walk like you talk.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Charlie, you had a little life, so you decided to go to the Baird school to put yourself in the market for a big one. Now, in order to stay in the running, you're gonna have to tell these people what they want to know.

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Charlie Simms Colonel, I can't go with you to your brother's place. I mean, I should be getting back to school.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Well, you gotta have Thanksgiving somewhere. I mean, eats and treats.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Gretchen, I smell those prunes!

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Sugar is shit.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade [seated at the Thanksgiving family table, having arrived uninvited and unwelcome] So, I wake up. It's 4:00 in the morning. I don't know who I'm with or why I'm there, or where I am. What am I gonna do? I got this Asian flower on one hand, all giggly and dewy-like, and this hard-boiled Navy nurse outta Omaha, on the other. We're three across the bed, not a stitch of clothes on. It comes to me. Let east meet west. We'll build a golden bridge. I felt like I'd just joined the corps of engineers!

[nobody says anything]

Lt. Col. Frank Slade We all still here?

Randy It's a beautiful story. Do you always enjoy shocking people, Uncle Frank?

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade You hear that voice? There's *fire* under that dress.

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Charlie Simms Will you give me your weapon?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Oh, Charlie, I'm a Lieutenant Colonel, United States Army. I'm not giving my fucking gun to anyone.

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Randy What kind of fucking lunatic juggles grenades?

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Randy [at the Thanksgiving dinner table] My wife's name is Gail, Frank. Can you hear that? Gail.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Excuse me. Gail. Gail strikes me as a very beautiful woman, but, you know, there's a little tension in her voice. I don't know what it is. It could be one of two things, either Gail is nervous or unsatisfied.

Randy What's your point, Uncle Frank?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade You ought to go down on her.

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Lt. Col. Frank Slade Where you gonna be in 26 years, Charlie? Playing golf with your friends from the Baird School, I bet.

Charlie Simms I don't even like those guys.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade Of course you don't. They're all assholes. Be a pleasure to squeal on 'em, wouldn't it?

Charlie Simms Yeah, well, I'm not a squealer.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade "I'm not a squealer." What is this, the Dreyfus case?

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Charlie Simms The bullets, Colonel.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade "The bullets, Colonel." You sound like a guy in "Lives of a Bengal Lancer".

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Charlie Simms Where you goin'?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade I got piss call.

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Freddie Bisco You know what they call me at the home office? "The Grey Ghost." You know why they still keep me around? There's no kid here that can move a Ferrari like I can. I'm known from coast to coast like butter and toast. Ask anybody about Freddie Bisco. When I get a Ferrari - out the door!

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Scent of a Woman Movie Quotes