A Knight's Tale Movie Quotes
Wat
You have been weighed.
Roland
You have been measured.
Kate
And you have absolutely...
Chaucer
Been found wanting.
William
Welcome to New World. God save you, if it is right that He should do so.
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Chaucer
You're good. You're very good. My lords, my ladies, and everybody else here not sitting on a cushion!
[crowd roars]
Chaucer
Today... today, you find yourselves equals.
[crowd roars]
Chaucer
For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne. I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking his forgiveness for the Saracen blood spilt by his sword. Next, he amazed me still further in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishing of her dreadful Turkish uncle.
[crowd, boo]
Chaucer
In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper. And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir Ulllrrrich von Lichtenstein!
[crowd roars]
Chaucer
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
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Prince Edward
[sighs]
What a pair we make, huh? Both trying to hide who we are, both unable to do so. Your men love you. If I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough. But you also tilt when you should withdraw... and that is knightly, too.
[Edward turns to crowd]
Prince Edward
He may appear to be of humble origins, but my personal historians have discovered that he is descendent from an ancient royal line.
[crowd murmuring]
Prince Edward
This is my word... and, as such, is beyond contestation.
Prince Edward
[turns to William]
Now, if I may repay the kindness you once showed me... take a knee.
[draws his sword]
Prince Edward
By the power vested in me by my father, King Edward, and by all the witnesses here, I dub thee Sir William.
[crowd cheers]
William
What?
Prince Edward
There's my tournament to finish. Now, are you fit to compete, or shall the forfeit stand?
William
No, I'm fit.
Prince Edward
I shall have your opponent informed of it. You look for his shield in the lists... at once.
William
Thank you, my lord.
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Jocelyn
Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick.
Wat
It's called a lance. Hello?
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Chaucer
I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity.
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Chaucer
Good people, I missed my introduction. But please... Please I pray you, hear it now, for I would lay rest the grace in my tongue and speak plainly. Days like these are far too rare to cheapen with heavy handed words, and so, I'm afraid without any ado whatsoever... Excuse me My Lord... Here he is, one of your own, born a stone's throw from this very stadium, and here before you now, the son of John Thatcher... Sir Wiiiiiilliam Thatcheeer.
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[Keeping beat for a dance lesson]
Chaucer
And one and two and three and four and your hands should be light like a birdie on a branch. And one and two and three and four and Wat doesn't lead he follows like a girl.
[Wat punches him. Scene changes, and Chaucer now has a tissue stuck up one nostril]
Chaucer
And one and two and twirlie twirlie twirlie! And one and two and you're still getting it wrong! And one and two and three and four you can hit me all day cause you punch like a... what?
Roland
A girl!
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Wat
[in a letter]
I miss you like the sun misses the flower. Like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to.
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Kate
With hope. Love should end with hope. My husband, God rest him, told me something I'll never forget.
[in a letter]
Kate
Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the day and especially the night. The hope that after you're gone from my sight it will not be the last time I look upon you.
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Adhemar
You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. In what world could you possibly beat me?
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Wat
Uh, betray us, and I will fong you, until your insides are out, your outsides are in, your entrails will become your extrails I will w-rip... all the p... ung. Pain, lots of pain.
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Roland
Roland, Chaucer, Kate, Wat: [singing] He's blond, he's pissed, he'll see you in the lists, Lichtenstein! Lichtenstein! He's blond, he's tanned, he comes from Gelderland, he comes from Gelderland! Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland... Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland...
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William
Father, I am afraid, I won't know the way back home.
John Thatcher
Don't be foolish, William, you just follow your feet.
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William
Oi sir, what are you doing?
Chaucer
Uh... trudging. You know, trudging?
[pause]
Chaucer
To trudge: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on.
William
Uhhh... were you robbed?
Chaucer
[laughs]
Funny really, yes, but at the same time a huge resounding no. It's more of an... involuntary vow of poverty... really.
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Prince Edward
Your men love you. If I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough.
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Wat
Say something about her breasts.
Roland
Yeah, you miss her breasts.
William
Her breasts.
Chaucer
Ye... yes, you... you could, umm... umm... but I... I would tend to look above her breasts, William.
William
Well I... I miss her throat.
Chaucer
Uh, still higher really, toward the heavens.
Kate
The moon at least, her breasts were not that impressive.
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Wat
What do you mean, dead?
Roland
The spark of his life is smothered in shite. His spirit is gone but his stench remains. Does that answer your question?
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Chaucer
Very good.
William
Was she watching? Geoff.
Chaucer
What?
William
Did she see me?
Chaucer
Yes, she saw you.
William
Did she see me take the hit?
Chaucer
Yes, she saw you take the hit.
William
Well, was she concerned?
Chaucer
It was dreadful, her eyes welled up, it was awful.
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William
It is strange to think, I haven't seen you since a month. I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face. The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to. I next compete in the city of Paris, I will find it empty and in the winter if you are not there. Hope guides me, that is what gets me through the day and especially the night. The hope that after you're gone from my sight, it will not be the last time that I look upon you.
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John Thatcher
Change your stars and live a better life than I have.
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Chaucer
Yes, behold my lord Ulrich, the rock, the hard place, like a wind from Gelderland he sweeps by blown far from his homeland in search of glory and honor, we walk... in the garden of his turpulence!
[crowd is silent, cricket noise]
Roland
Yeah.
Crowd
Yeahhhhh!
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Young William Thacher
Some day, I'll be a knight.
Man in Stocks
A Thachers son? A knight? You might as well try to change the stars!
Young William Thacher
Can it be done father? Can a man change the stars?
John Thatcher
Yes William. If he believes enough, a man can do anything.
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William
Your name lady, I still need to hear it.
Jocelyn
Sir hunter, you persist.
William
Or perhaps angels have no names, only beautiful faces.
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William
[on asking Kate to mend his armour]
It's just as well, they told me I was daft for even asking.
Kate
Who?
William
The other armourers.
Kate
Did they say I couldn't do it because I'm a woman?
William
No, they said you were great with horseshoes, but shite with armour. The fact that you were a woman wasn't even mentioned.
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Jocelyn
Sir Ulrick. What are you wearing to the ball tonight?
William
Er... nothing...
Jocelyn
Well, we shall cause a sensation, for I'll dress to match.
Jocelyn
A flower is only as good as its petals. Don't you think?
William
A flower is good for nothing. You can't eat a flower, a flower can't keep you warm...
Jocelyn
And a rose never knocked a man off a horse either, did it?
William
You're just a silly girl aren't you.
Jocelyn
Better a silly girl with a flower, than a silly boy with a horse and a stick...
[she walks away]
Wat
It's called a lance. Heellooo?
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William
It's not in me to withdraw.
Prince Edward
No. Nor me. Though it happens.
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Chaucer
Are you mad? You knowingly endanger a member of the royal family?
William
He knowingly endangers himself.
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Adhemar
And how would you beat him?
Retired Knight
With a stick. While he slept. But on a horse, with a lance? That man is unbeatable.
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[final lines]
Chaucer
All human activity lies within the artist's scope.
[looks at Wat, pauses]
Chaucer
Maybe not yours...
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Jocelyn
Do not shush me, and spare him. Now be gone! Go!
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William
I'm Ulrich von Leichtenstein, from Gelderland, and these are my faithful squires.
[gestures to Roland]
William
Delves, of Dogington,
[gestures to Wat]
William
and Falhurst, of Crew.
Chaucer
I'm Richard the Lionheart. Pleased to meet you. No, wait a minute, I'm Charlemagne. No, I'm Saint John the Baptist!
[William draws a large knife]
William
All right, hold your tongue sir, or lose it.
Chaucer
Now you see *that* I do believe, Sir Ulrich.
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Old Bishop
[after William rides into the cathedral on a horse to woo Jocelyn]
Ladies! Does this not shock you?
Old Bishop
I know, child. Pray that the years come quickly for you, taking your beauty so that you may better serve Him.
Jocelyn
I do, every day.
[raises hands to face]
Jocelyn
God, why did you curse me with this face?
Old Bishop
God has a plan we know not.
[offers hand to Jocelyn to kiss]
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Jocelyn
Your name makes no matter to me, so long as I may call you my own.
William
Oh, but I am your own, Jocelyn.
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[Watching Joscelyn enter William's tent at night]
Chaucer
Guinevere comes to Lancelot.
[Turns away, smiling]
Chaucer
Bed him well, my lady. Bed him well.
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[trying to convince the squires to bet that William will win, when they believe the French knight will win]
French Squire
An Englishman will not win this French tournament. English legs are unsteady on French soil.
French Squire
And because French wine is too much for English bellies.
French Squire
And most importantly, because the Pope himself is French.
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Chaucer
It's a small target Will, but aim for his heart.
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William
Can you keep a secret?
[the lone girl nods]
William
I was born in Cheapside, in that house over there.
[points it out to the girl]
Lone Girl in Cheapside
Really? I live just there.
[points to the house across from it]
William
Wait, how old are you?
Lone Girl in Cheapside
Nine and one half, sir.
William
Nine and one half. I wonder, can you remember a man, although probably died just before you were born. He was as tall as a knight, his name was John Thatcher.
Lone Girl in Cheapside
Well of course I remember him.
William
You do?
Lone Girl in Cheapside
Yeah, he lives there still.
[William is shocked]
Lone Girl in Cheapside
Sometimes you can see him looking from his window, though no one knows why.
William
What do you mean?
Lone Girl in Cheapside
He's blind, sir.
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Jocelyn
Damn your pride, William. It is you, and only you, that will not see you run.
William
My pride is the only thing that they can't take from me.
Jocelyn
They can take it away from you; they can, and they will. Oh, they will. But love they cannot take.
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William
Well then a fox you shall be until I find your name, my foxy lady.
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Kate
With hope, love should end with hope
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Chaucer
We regret to inform your lady that my lord will not be attending...
William
Herald, do not answer questions you do not know the answer to!
Chaucer
Absolutely, my lord.
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William
I can't explain it. She makes me feel like a poet.
Roland
Well you may feel like a poet, but you sound like an idiot. You don't even know her name.
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Chaucer
Now I got their attention, you go and win their hearts.
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William
If I could ask God one thing, it would be to stop the moon. Stop the moon and make this night and your beauty last forever.
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Prince Edward
If I may repay the kindness you once showed me. Take a knee...
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William
I've waited my whole life for this moment.
Wat
You've waited your whole life for Sir Ector to shite himself to death?
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William
You favour cathedrals.
Jocelyn
I come for confession. And the glass... a riot of color in a dreary, grey world.
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Chaucer
A bit higher. More toward the heavens.
Kate
The moon at least. Her breasts aren't that impressive.
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William
What do you think? Now that you know what I am?
Jocelyn
To know what you are, William, would take a lifetime. One I am most willing to give. But right now you've got to run. There's nothing else to do. Run and I will run with you.
William
Jocelyn, I cannot run. I'm a knight. And I will put myself to the hazard!
Roland
A knight in your heart but not on paper. And paper's all that matters to them!
Jocelyn
William, I love you. I love you. You... and I'm sorry but I won't see you led away, bound for the stocks.
William
Oh, but you will see me run? No!
Jocelyn
Damn your pride, William! It is you and only you that will not see you run!
William
My pride is the only thing they can't take away from me!
Jocelyn
But they can take it from you! They can and they will. Oh, they will. But love they cannot take.
William
And... and where will we live? In... in my hovel? With the pigs inside in the winter so they won't freeze?
Jocelyn
William, I beg you! Please... run. Do it for love.
[Roland nods and looks down]
William
And you, Geoff?
Chaucer
Yes, I wish you to with all the pieces of my heart.
William
Wat, you and I, we aren't runners.
Kate
Run, William.
William
NO!
[Jocelyn closes her eyes, tears leaking down her cheeks]
William
I will not run! I am a knight!
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Chaucer
Geoffrey Chaucer's the name, writing's the game.
[Turns away, turns back]
Chaucer
Chaucer? Geoffrey Chaucer, the writer?
Wat
A what?
Chaucer
A wha- a what? A writer. You know, I write, with ink and parchment. For a penny, I'll scribble you anything you want. From summons, decrees, edicts, warrants, patents of nobility. I've even been know to jot down a poem or two, if the muse descends. You've probably read my book? the Book of the Duchess?
[They look at each other, shake their heads]
Chaucer
Fine. Well, it was allegorical.
Roland
Well, we won't hold that against you, that's for every man to decide for himself.
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Roland
Well, that was different.
Chaucer
Well, it's time we celebrate our differences.
Roland
Just maybe not in public.
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William
Love has given me wings so I must fly.
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Adhemar
Why didn't Ulrich finish him?
Jocelyn
He shows mercy.
Adhemar
Then he shows his weakness - that is all mercy is.
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Chaucer
Yes, Master Falhurst, I'm well aware a good fonging is on the way.
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Wat
We're the sons of peasants. Glory, and riches, and stars are beyond our grasps. But a full stomach, that dream can come true.
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Chaucer
Oh my giddy aunt.
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Germaine
But this Lichtenstein... his technique, rudimentary... style, non-existent. Still, he's fearless.
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Wat
All right, I'm about this fonging close mate! I swear to God, Quaisimodo! I oughta...
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Adhemar
Your armor, sir.
William
What about it?
Adhemar
How stylish of you to joust in an antique. You'll start a new fashion if you win. My grandfather will be able to wear his in public again, and a shield, how quaint.
[William rides off]
Adhemar
Some of these poor country knights, little better then peasants.
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Jocelyn
Even the peasants can marry for love.
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Wat
We're English, Geoff! We know who he is!
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Jocelyn
I demand poetry, and when I want it, and I want it now.
William
Your breasts... they're beneath your throat.
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Adhemar
You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. Come back when you're worthy.
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William
This is a disaster.
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Young William Thacher
Someday, I'll be a knight.
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William
Where will we live? In my hovel? With the pigs inside during the winter so they won't freeze?
Jocelyn
Yes, William. With the pigs.
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Chaucer
Look, I have a gambling problem. I can't help myself. And these people will - quite literally - take off clothes of your back.
William
What are you expecting us to do about it?
Peter The Pardoner of Rouen
He assured us that you, his liege, would pay us.
William
And who are you?
Peter The Pardoner of Rouen
Peter, a humble pardoner and purveyor of religious relics.
William
How much does he owe you?
Simon The Summoner of Rouen
Ten gold florins.
William
What would you do to him, if I was to refuse?
Simon The Summoner of Rouen
We, on behalf of the Lord God, would take him of his flesh, so that he may understand that gambling is a sin.
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William
I'll ride in his place.
Roland
What's your name, William? I'm asking you William Thatcher, to answer me with your name? It's not Sir William. It's not Count, or Duke or Earl William. It's certainly not King William.
William
I'm aware of that.
Roland
You have to be of noble birth to compete!
William
A detail. The landscape is food. Do you want to eat or don't you?
Roland
If the nobles find out who you are there'll be the devil to pay.
William
Then pray that they don't.
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Adhemar
And you are?
William
Well, I am, um.
Adhemar
You've forgotten, or your name is Sir Um?
William
Ulrich von Lichtenstein from Gelderland.
Adhemar
Well, I'd forget as well, what a mouthful.
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Germaine
My Lord, the Count Adehmar, Son of Phillip DeVitry, son of Gilles... er... Master of the Free Companies, defender of his enormous manhood, a shining example of chivalry and champagne.
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Roland
Well, Master Nude, having failed the test, have you any more to say?
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William
Where will we live? In my hovel? With the pigs inside during the winter so they won't freeze?
Jocelyn
Yes, William. With the pigs... The poor can marry for love...
William
Oh Jocelyn, you speak of what you do not know...
Jocelyn
William I beg you. Please, run... do it for love...
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Jocelyn
I love you. There is nothing else to do. Run and I will run with you.
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Chaucer
I give the truth, scope!
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Peter The Pardoner of Rouen
He assured us that you, his liege, would pay us.
William
And you are?
Peter The Pardoner of Rouen
Peter. A humble Pardoner and purveyor of religious relics.
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[first lines]
William
Should we help him?
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[last lines]
Roland
Roland, Chaucer, Kate: Your round!
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Jocelyn
William, this pain is my doing.
William
Yes, it is. Although, my father---he taught me to take the bad with the good.
Jocelyn
Well, this "good" you speak of...
William
Yes?
Jocelyn
It will be my doing as well.
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Old Bishop
You desecrate the House of God!
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