Kinoafisha

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Kinoafisha TV Shows How I Met Your Mother Quotes

How I Met Your Mother quotes

Barney It's gonna be legen... wait for it... dary!

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Barney Haaaaave you met Ted?

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Barney It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!

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Barney Suit up!

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Barney Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro-I'm Broda!

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[repeated line]

Barney Challenge accepted!

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[repeated line]

Ranjit Hello!

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[repeated line]

Lily You son of a bitch!

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Barney Ted, tonight we're gonna go out. We're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be *legendary*. Phone-five!

[slaps cell-phone]

Barney You didn't phone-five, did you?

[pause]

Barney I know when you don't phone-five Ted.

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Ted You're not... Moby, are you?

Not Moby Who?

Ted The recording artist, Moby.

Not Moby Oh, no.

Ted Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?

Not Moby Oh, I thought you said Tony.

Ted So your name's Tony?

Not Moby No.

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Lily [Lily sees Barney hitting on Claudia] Oh, hell. No!

[grabs Barney by the ear and yanks him away from Claudia]

Lily Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard until your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.

Barney [confused] Wait... my eyes? Or my testicles?

Lily [pause, thinks about it] One of each!

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Ted So, who are we picking up?

Barney I dunno... her? Or maybe her...

Ted Wait, so when you said we were going to pick someone up at the airport, you meant we were going to *pick someone up* at the airport?

Barney Yeah...

Ted You're kidding!

Barney False!

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Marshall I'm not a gay pirate, I have sex with my parrot all the time!

[there is an awkward silence]

Marshall OK, that came out wrong.

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Barney Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I'm teaching you how to do, do, do.

Marshall Doo-doo!

[laughs]

Barney [chuckles] Totally.

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Barney Moist.

[repeated during Barney's play to get back at Lily]

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Ted I'm gonna do what that guy couldn't, I'm gonna take the plunge... Well, I guess that's not a perfect metaphor since... for me it's falling in love and for him it's... death.

Barney Actually, that is a perfect metaphor.

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Ted Hey Barney, see that girl?

Barney Ohhh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty!

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[repeated line]

Ted [whenever Marshall and Lily talk about having sex] Please don't.

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[repeated line throughout season 9]

Lily [Being handed a drink at the Farhampton Inn] Thank you, Linus.

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Barney It's going to be legendary!

Ted Don't say that! You're too liberal with the word "legendary".

[flashback to Barney standing at Ted's door in snow gear with a shovel]

Barney We're building an igloo in Central Park! It's going to be legendary! Snow-suit up!

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[repeated line]

Marshall Lawyered!

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Barney What's that? Self five? Nice! We out!

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[repeated line throughout season 9]

Barney Ring bear

Robin Scherbatsky Ring bear-er

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Lily Hey, nice shirt, Ted. Is it yesterday already?

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Ted Can we maybe scoop stuffing for a while?

Barney You wanna scoop stuffing on your first day?

[sarcastically makes phone with his hands and holds it to his ear]

Barney Hello, NFL, can I be quarterback next Sunday?

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Marshall I think we're going to wait on the baby thing. I mean I love babies. Babies rule. Pudgy arms and stuff. But, uh, they make you old. Kinda like this anchor weighing you down to one spot... forever.

Claire I'm three months pregnant.

Marshall [surprised] Not awkward, guys. Not awkward if we don't let it be awkward.

[nervously smiles, then walks away]

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Lily You're playing hockey. With a basketball... and tennis rackets?

Marshall It's BaskIceball, the greatest game ever. We invented it. it's Awesome!

Lily Wait, BaskIceball? shouldn't it be Iceketball?

Marvin Eriksen Sr. Ice... Ket... ball? that just sounds weird.

Marcus Eriksen The game is BaskIceball. And I'm the best.

Lily Well, maybe that's just cause you haven't seen *me* play.

[Lily throws the basketball to Marcus who throws it back to Marshall]

Marshall Well, it's not exactly a sport for girls.

Lily Well, that's funny cause your brother throws like a girl!

[Lily throws the ball back to Marcus]

Lily [Marcus throws the ball hard and hits Lily in the face]

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Barney True Story!

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Barney What's that left hand? Right hand suck? Word!

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[repeated line]

Ranjit Pulling over

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Ted At least someone appreciates the fact that I am doing and not thinking.

[pause]

Ted And now, I don't think I won't not go to the bathroom.

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Barney Elbert "Ickey" Woods, the Bengals were fools to cut you in '91. Your 1,525 rushing yards and 27 touchdowns will not be forgotten. So, Coach Dave Shula, screw you and your crappy steakhouse!

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Barney i request the highest of five!

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Barney Was that chick at the end really a client?