Friday Movie Quotes
Smokey
I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do.
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Craig Jones
We ain't got no sugar.
Smokey
No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn.
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Smokey
I got mind control over Deebo. He be like "shut the fuck up." I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talking again.
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Smokey
Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage.
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Smokey
Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You fuckin' up the rotation.
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Mr. Jones
Every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the goddamn refrigerator. Eatin' up all the food. All the chitlins... All the pigs' feet... All the collard greens... All the hog maws. I wanna eat them chitlins... I like pigs' feet.
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Smokey
Remember it ,Write it down, take a picture, I don't give a fuck.
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[Pastor Clever drives up as Smokey rolls a joint]
Craig Jones
Put that out, man, here come the pastor.
Smokey
For what? Probably smoke bud too.
Pastor Clever
How ya doin', Brother Craig? How ya doin'?
Craig Jones
I'm all right.
Pastor Clever
Um, say, um, by chance is Sister Jones in?
Craig Jones
Nope. Neither is Brother Jones. They both at work.
[he starts rolling again]
Pastor Clever
'Scuse me, brother. What we call drugs at 74th Street Baptist Church, we call a sinny-siiiiin-sin.
Smokey
[singing]
Well, 'round here, between Normandie and Western, we call this here a little twenty-twen-twen... niggaaaaa!
Pastor Clever
Why don't ya just give me a little bit for my cataract.
Smokey
You didn't put in on this, man.
Pastor Clever
It's better to give than receive, my brother.
Pastor Clever
Lord have mercy! The Lord is my shepherd, he know what I want. Excuse me, brother.
[he walks away]
Pastor Clever
Mrs. Parker! Mrs. Parker! Can I talk to you for a minute, Mrs. Parker?
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Old Lady
Are you prepared for Jehovah's return? 'Cause if you're not, we've got a pam...
[Craig slams the door in their faces]
Old Lady
Well fuck you. Half-dead motherfucker. Come on, sister.
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[Mr. Jones catches Craig with a handgun]
Mr. Jones
What's that for?
Craig Jones
Protection.
Mr. Jones
Protection? Protection from who?
Craig Jones
Me and Smokey... I got to walk Smokey down to his house.
Mr. Jones
Aw, man. Your mother and I never woulda moved to this neighborhood if we had known you need a gun to walk down the damn street.
Craig Jones
You know how it is around here.
Mr. Jones
Oh, no, son, that's not the way it is. You kids today are nothin' but punks. Sissified. So quick to pick up a gun. You're scared to take an ass-whippin'.
[he holds up his fists]
Mr. Jones
This is what makes you a man. When I was growin' up, this was all the protection we needed. You win some, you lose some, but you live. You live to fight another day. And you think you're a man with that gun in your hand, don't you?
Craig Jones
I'm a man without it.
Mr. Jones
Put the gun down.
[Craig does so]
Mr. Jones
C'mon, put up your dukes.
[Craig raises his fists]
Mr. Jones
NOW you're a man. Your uncle picked up a gun too. He had to find out the hard way. 22 years old. YOU got a choice. This is all you need. All right?
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Smokey
Older the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Craig Jones
Man, it's the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Smokey
Yeah, well she blacker than a motherfucker too.
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Mrs. Jones
Craig, you know what your problem is? You have no game.
Craig Jones
What do you know about game? I got ALL the game.
Mrs. Jones
Now your father... he got game.
Mr. Jones
[coming out of the bathroom]
Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes. Somebody open up a window.
Craig Jones
You call that game?
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Joi
[Mrs. Jones hand Craig phone]
Hello?
Joi
Who the fuck you go to the show with last night?
Craig Jones
I didn't go to the show last night.
Joi
You ain't got to lie Craig, you ain't got to lie...
Craig Jones
Ain't nobody lyin, I didn't go to the show last night.
Joi
Yes you did! Cause my sister-in-law's baby cousin Tracy, she told me she went to the show last night, and she saw you there all Hugged Up wit some Tramp. Now tell me who she was.
Craig Jones
Yo sister-in-law's baby cousin Tracy is a goddamn...
[Craig realzes his mom is still in the room]
Craig Jones
... Yea, she a, she a liar. She ain't see me at no movies hugged up wit nobody.
Joi
Mmm-hmm yeah,yeah, well let me tell you what. You just tell the bitch, whoeva she is, when I catch her, Imma beat her ass!
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Smokey
Damn! Mrs. Parker finer than a motherfucker.
Craig Jones
Craig Jones, Smokey: Hi, Mrs. Parker.
Mrs. Parker
Hi, boys.
Mrs. Parker
What you say, honey?
Smokey
Huh? Nothing.
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Smokey
[after Craig knocks out Deebo]
You got knocked the fuck out, man! Give me my goddamn money...
[Smokey takes $200 from a knocked-out Deebo]
Smokey
Payback's a motherfucker, ain't it? Nigga!
[walking away]
Smokey
Pow! Pow, Pow, POW!
Red
[punches Deebo as he's getting up and takes chain back]
My grandmama gave me this chain!
Ezal
[slowly walks to Deebo]
Deebo? DEEBO! Man, you shoulda been bobbin' and weavin'! Look 'it at ya! GET UP! Since you ain't, maybe I'll take these shoes!
[struggling to take Deebo's shoe off]
Ezal
Big... foot... motherfucker, you can *have* ya knife! 'Cause I *STEAL*, I don't *KILL*.
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Craig Jones
Craig Jones, Smokey: [after they see Red's black eye] DAAAAAMN!
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Felisha
I need to borrow your car right quick.
Smokey
What kinda shit is that? Most people wanna borrow sugar. Or even ketchup. You wanna borrow my car? Hell naw! Get the hell on.
Felisha
Well, let me borrow a joint.
Smokey
You need to borrow a job. With yo' broke ass. Always trying to smoke up somebody's shit. Get the hell on, Felisha.
Felisha
I'ma remember that.
Smokey
Remember it. Write it down, take a picture, I don't give a fuck!
Felisha
Tsk.
[realizes she can try her luck with Craig]
Felisha
Craig.
Felisha
Damn. Y'all stingy.
[she leaves]
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Smokey
Why don't you tell your daddy to comb his damn hair, look like some spiders is having a meetin' on his head.
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[Smokey taking a crap outside]
Smokey
You better not tell anybody man.
Ezal
Man, I'm not, man.
Smokey
Keep it on the down low.
Ezal
Alright brother. Damn.
[Looks around and yells]
Ezal
Hey, Smokey back here taking a shit!
Smokey
Ezal!
Ezal
Well, I won't tell anybody else.
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Craig Jones
Mom, loan me 200 dollars.
Mrs. Jones
Craig, I wouldn't feel comfortable lending you money without a job.
Craig Jones
If I had a job, I wouldn't need to borrow any money.
Mrs. Jones
Exactly.
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Ezal
Smokey, you know I ain't the smartest man in the world, but, from back here it look like you're takin a shit.
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Craig Jones
For most people, Friday's just the day before the weekend. But after this Friday, the neighborhood'll never be the same.
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Ezal
Aw, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. God. Oh, I'm hurt. Oh, my neck, my back, my neck and my back. Oh, I want $150,000, but we can settle out of court right now for twenty bucks.
Janitor
Man, get your punk ass up. It ain't even wet over here. Damn.
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Deebo
*I* got about two hundred dollars.
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Smokey
Why you not goin' to work?
Craig Jones
I got fired yesterday.
Smokey
No shit? I thought you had the day off yesterday.
Craig Jones
I did. I went in to pick up my check, came home, my supervisor called me about four o'clock, told me he got me on tape stealing boxes.
Smokey
The fuck you stealing boxes for? What you trying to build, a clubhouse?
Craig Jones
Hell, no, ain't got me on tape. But they said they did. Fired me on the spot. Talkin' about pressin' charges.
Smokey
Goddamn! You've got to be one stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.
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Smokey's mom
Smokey, get me some cigarettes.
Smokey
Well, give me some money.
[Smokey's mom gives Smokey a dollar]
Smokey
Wait, this isn't enough.
Smokey's mom
Make it enough.
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Red
[after having his necklace snatched by Deebo]
Hey, man, why didn't y'all help me!
Red
Man, that's fucked up. If it was y'all, I would've helped y'all.
Craig Jones
What about the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?
Red
[pause, thinks about it]
Oh, that was different.
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Mr. Jones
[in toilet]
Boy, bring your ass up in here. What you talkin' 'bout, you wait 'til I come out? I smelled your shit for 22 years, now you can smell mine for five minutes.
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Craig Jones
Man thats a female!
Deebo
Shut your little punk ass up, nigga before I drop you like I did this bitch!
[Takes out long knife]
Craig Jones
I ain't even tryin to fight you Deebo.
[Gives knife to Ezal]
Deebo
you ain't gonna fight me because your nothing but a BITCH TOO!
[Pushes Craig]
Craig Jones
[Craig pulls out his gun]
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Big Worm
Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey.
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Craig Jones
I ain't trying to be no dog-catcher!
Mr. Jones
Why not?
Craig Jones
I don't even like dogs!
Mr. Jones
That's the beauty of it! I grab a dog, and I choke him, and I kick the shit out of him! All day long, my foot up a dog's ass! Just bang-bang-bang up his ass! That's my pleasure.
Craig Jones
No, thanks.
Mr. Jones
Well, I'll tell you one thing: round here, you go to work, you go to school. First of the month, the rent is due. If you ain't got nothin' on the table, you ain't gotta worry about catchin' a dog - You gotta worry about a dog catchin' YOUR ass!
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Smokey
I've been smokin' ever since I was two.
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[last lines]
Smokey
[on phone]
Yeah, I got your money. And I don't appreciate you sendin' your punk ass, busta ass, Jheri curl wearin' ass friends come down here to shoot at me and my homie. They'd like to got dealt with.
Big Worm
First of all, don't be callin' here like you some straight up "G", 'cause I'll cut your balls off and hand 'em to you, partner. I had to warn you too many times about my money, Smokey. You see, it's the principle of the whole thing. There's principalities in this.
Smokey
Yeah, well... I got your money anyways. And you sell that shit yourself next time, 'cause I'm goin' to rehab. I'm through with this shit.
[hangs up, then lights a joint]
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Red
My pops told me to ask for my bike back... you know I wouldn't trip.
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Mrs. Jones
[looks at Ms. Parker in a disgusted way and says to herself]
Look at her... She know she ought to be ashamed of herself comin' out here lookin' like that.
[Yells and Waves]
Mrs. Jones
HEY GIRL!
Mrs. Parker
[Waves back]
Hey, how you doin'?
Mrs. Jones
Fine I'm on my way to work.
Mrs. Parker
Call me when you get home...
Mrs. Jones
[fakely]
OK...
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Craig Jones
I felt sorry for Smokey, 'cause peer pressure is a motherfucker.
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Mrs. Jones
[Talking to Dana]
You see what I said to tell us before you leave the house.
Felisha
It's going to be okay.
Debbie
No, look at your face.
Deebo
Girl what are you talking about?
Debbie
You know what I'm talking about, punk. You hit my sister like if she was a fucking man.
Deebo
She had no business going through my pants when I was asleep!
Debbie
My sister don't need to steal nothing from your broke ass all right.
Deebo
It's best for you to take your ass home.
Debbie
I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU! All these niggas around here might be scared of you, but I'm not.
Debbie
NO, FUCK YOU! You're lucky I'm not a man, otherwise I kick yo ass myself.
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Mr. Jones
[Mr. Jones snoring and talking in his sleep]
Give me the two piece special. Lots of hotsauce and all the fries you can give me. Thank you, thank you.
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Big Worm
Can't have shit I'm closed, Fat Boy.
Kid #1
Then give me my money back.
Big Worm
My money.
Kid #1
Mama.
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Big Worm
[as Craig halluncinates seeing Big Worm's head in the kitchen cabinet]
You smoking my weed too? I gonna kill you and Smokey because you playin' with my emotions...
[as Craig slams his cabinet door shut]
Big Worm
You heard? Hey!
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Deebo
Come on Smoke, Stanley left his window open.
Smokey
I can't I'm on probation.
Deebo
Stop being a bitch and come on.
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Craig Jones
Baby you got some money?
Joi
Some huh! Umm... Nigga how much you need?
Craig Jones
About $200.
Joi
mm... I guess... What you gon give me?
Felisha
Craig
[clap clap]
Felisha
, Craig
Craig Jones
What!
Felisha
Can I borrow y'all VCR? I need to dub a tape...
Craig Jones
Hell Naw
[Walkin away]
Felisha
Its "The Mack"!
Joi
Um... who the fuck is that bitch... fuck u mothafucka... u think u slick... gon come ova here and ask me for some money... well ask that bitch for some money
[scurrrrrrrrr goes the car]
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Craig Jones
Man, look what you did to my curtain. You better watch that window you climbing in fool 'fo you get blasted on.
Smokey
With what? You ain't got nothin' man.
Craig Jones
With this!
[pointing his Glock at Smokey]
Smokey
Man, Where you get that from?
Craig Jones
Yo Mama.
Smokey
Fuck you!
Craig Jones
Fuck you! He he he
[chuckling]
Smokey
Come on outside man, and stop playing.
Craig Jones
Gotta get dressed.
Smokey
Hurry Up!
Craig Jones
Don't tell me to hurry up!
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Mr. Jones
Hehe. Macaroni.
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Smokey
Man that fool just playin' man, I ain't trippin.
Craig Jones
That's yo problem. Aint' nobody playin' but you. You walk up and down the street all day playin'. He aint' playin' you think he playin' 'bout his money? He know where my momma stay know where you momma stay. He say he had a gun when you seen him right?
Smokey
Yeah
Craig Jones
Well name one person in the hood that play like that!
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Smokey
You know Craig? Craig got fired!
Big Worm
What the fuck that gotta do wit me?
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Craig Jones
What I'm trippin on, is how you gonna sell bud, when you smoke it?
Smokey
I don't know. That's my only problem.
Craig Jones
Big Worm gonna fuck you up.
Smokey
Big Worm ain't gonna do a goddamn thing, man.
Craig Jones
All right...
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Joann
Damn, Smoke, don't be banging on the door like you the damn po-lice.
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Smokey
[after smoking marijuana in the car with Hector and his friend, he finds himself running down the street in his white A-shirt and white briefs]
The next thing I know, I was runnin' down the street in my damn drawers!
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Craig Jones
Man what took y'all so long?
Deebo
This foo was scared man, he didn't even...
Stanley
[Interrupts Deebo and talks very irritated to Craig, Smokey and Deebo]
Look fellas. I've asked you nicely, but now I'm getting very irritated. For the last time, would you stay off of my FRIGGING GRASS, PLEASE!
Smokey
Al'right man, sorry.
Stanley
Thank you.
[Smokey gives Stanley the middle finger and Stanley falls]
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Big Worm
[v.o. on phone]
Don't play dumb nigger, you know who the is! You got my money?
Smokey
I ain't got it, but I'm gonna get it.
[Big Worm hangs up]
Craig Jones
What happened?
Smokey
Man he just hung up... I think we better stay in the house.
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Craig Jones
You better get your ass off your shoulders and make that money.
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Rita
Ooooh, What's up?
Smokey
Not a damn thannng!
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Mr. Jones
Now when I went to bed last night. Didn't I tell you take out the trash?
Craig Jones
Yeah.
Mr. Jones
So, why didn't you do it?
Craig Jones
I fell asleep.
Mr. Jones
I wish you was sleeping right now, I knock you upside your head with a left hook make your ass wake up and take out that damn trash.
Craig Jones
[Craig goes to the trash can to dump out his cereal]
Mr. Jones
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?
Craig Jones
I'm throwing this away. We ain't even got no milk.
Mr. Jones
You better put some water on that damn shit!
Craig Jones
Alright, I'll eat it.
Mr. Jones
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Take the garbage out front son!
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Hector
'Sup, Smokey?
Smokey
Fuck you.
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Hector
[while smoking with Smokey]
Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy, holmes!
Smokey
I know what I'm doin', man! Shut the fuck up!
[Hector and his friend laugh at him]
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[Big Worm arrived at Craig's house and Smokey comes to him. The license plate says "Big Worm"]
Smokey
What's up, Big Worm?
Big Worm
How much you got left?
Smokey
Man, I got to lot.
Big Worm
You still ain't sold that weed, Smokey?
Smokey
Man, I'm trying to, Worm. Niggas are broke these days.
Big Worm
I don't think you're applying yourself, Smokey.
[pause]
Big Worm
You're smoking my shit?
Smokey
Hell, no. Fuck with your shit? Hell, no.
Big Worm
You're smoking my shit?
Smokey
Man, why would I do some shit like that?
Big Worm
I don't want have to fuck you up, Smokey. Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions.
Smokey
Worm! You're the last brother money, I'd mess with. I'll steal from my mama before I mess with your shit. Now you know this, man.
Big Worm
We'll see.
[begins to leaves and drives away from Smokey]
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Joann
Smokey, I need you to go to the store and get me some cigarettes
Smokey
Give me the money
Joann
[she hands smokey one dollar]
Smokey
Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait a minute, what's this? This ain't enough
Joann
Make it enough
Smokey
DAMN!
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