Little Fockers Movie Quotes
Jack Byrnes
Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?
Greg Focker
To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that.
Greg Focker
Yes. Even after that. It's still... It's all good. It's all good under the hood.
Jack Byrnes
That's disgusting.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Bernie Focker
My two cents: The way you deal with Jack, no matter what he does, just smother that guy with kisses. He'll be putty in your hands.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Greg Focker
[to Kevin]
Why don't you get on your stupid monster yacht with your bubble-butt Russian girlfriend and do Jell-O shots off of Deepak Chopra's butt?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Pam Focker
[after meeting Andi]
Wow, you told me she sold boner medicine, Greg. You didn't tell me she *is* boner medicine.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Roz Focker
[On the phone long distance, miffed that Bernie's in Spain learning to be a flamenco dancer]
You picked a hell of a time to go through manopause!
Bernie Focker
Roz, I'm not going through manopause. I'm just trying to find my 'true north.'
Roz Focker
True north? What are you... a compass or something?
Bernie Focker
No, but let's face it - I'm a stay-at-home dad whose kid hasn't lived at home in 25 years.
Roz Focker
There's an Arthur Murray studio right here in Miami Beach. Why schlep all the way to Spain?
Bernie Focker
Why can't you support my dreams the way I've always supported yours? When you wanted to try new sex positions for your research, I was your guinea pig!
Roz Focker
You volunteered!
Bernie Focker
I pulled my hamstring doing a reverse cowgirl!
Roz Focker
That's because you did it backwards.
Bernie Focker
I never went soft on you.
Roz Focker
Bernie, do you hear how you're upsetting your son?
Bernie Focker
Let me talk. Listen, will you?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Greg Focker
You're not going to erase my son's memory.
Jack Byrnes
Greg, he saw his father inject a needle into his grandfather's penis. He already has issues. That's something he might never recover from.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Greg Focker
I'm getting off the wheel.
Jack Byrnes
What wheel?
Greg Focker
[losing it]
The wheel! The little hamster wheel that we're all running up to get a little taste of your little water thingy!
[imitates a hamster]
Greg Focker
Just, please, approval! Approval! Please! Give me some of the Jack... yeah...
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Dr. Bob
Okay, I get it, Greg. I screwed up. The pressure of being in that family finally got to me.
Greg Focker
What are you talking about? You were his golden boy.
Dr. Bob
More like his golden bitch. He wanted Deb and me to get married in Oyster Bay. Done. Can we name our baby after him? "You got it, Jack." Then he gives me this whole spiel, right, about how I'm next in line to his throne. He came up with this name for me, the Bobfather.
Greg Focker
Really? He said that to you?
Dr. Bob
Ah. He pulled the same shit on you, didn't he? In that family, we're all just hamsters on Jack Byrnes' little wheel. His Circus of Trust or whatever he calls it.
Greg Focker
Circle of Trust.
Dr. Bob
I had no idea how deep I was in until I stepped away, and I'll tell you something. Once I got off the treadmill, I've never been happier.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
Focker, there is no way I'm going into an ER room with this thing. Now you need to stick me and you need to stick me now! I'm having a dick attack! Stick me!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Greg Focker
He's not a doctor.
Kevin Rawley
Not in the Western sense of the word.
Greg Focker
Not in *any* sense of the word.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
I'm watching you.
Greg Focker
Yeah, well I have eyes too, so I'll be watching you... watching me.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
What about Mommy and Daddy, is everything okay with them?
Samantha Focker
I guess they fight sometimes.
Jack Byrnes
Mmm-hmm. And what do they fight about?
Samantha Focker
Um, like Mommy got mad at Daddy because he was going to the hotel with Andi.
Jack Byrnes
Andi?
[Sam laughs and nods]
Jack Byrnes
Who's Andi?
Samantha Focker
I can't say because I'm not supposed to be spying.
Jack Byrnes
Like I always tell you, there's nothing wrong with spying as long as you suspect foul play. So, who's Andi?
Samantha Focker
Andi gives Daddy his boners.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
I know you were telling the truth about Andi, Greg.
Greg Focker
Really?
Jack Byrnes
Yeah. The pulse on your carotid artery remained steady as you pleaded your innocence.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
If I go down, Greg, I need to know someone will be responsible for the whole Byrnes clan. So I ask you, Greg, are you prepared to be... the Godfocker?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
[Defensively to Prudence]
I'm not gay myself, but if I were gay, I would certainly be proud to choose a life partner like Gay Focker. And that's his actual name.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Pam Focker
Could you and Dad keep it down, please?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Kevin Rawley
[Speaking about Andi Garcia's attractiveness]
Look, it's natural to get a little tempted.
Greg Focker
Nobody's tempted, nobody's...
Kevin Rawley
Look, even our dear friend, the Buddha, had to pass through sorrow on his way to enlightenment.
Greg Focker
[sarcastically]
Our dear friend the Buddha? How's he doing? It's been so long. Do you ever listen to yourself?
Kevin Rawley
I try not to. I speak from the heart, off the cuff, like my man J.C. at the Sermon on the Mount. I think that's what you always admired about me.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
We've had this date since the beginning, Greg.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
Sam might be three-quarters Byrnes, whereas Henry could very well have a double dose of Focker in him.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Andi Garcia
If you're going to sell a drug like Sustengo, you need to make it personal. Do you know any sexually frustrated old dudes with a heart condition?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Kevin Rawley
Greg, he's not responding to my treatment.
Greg Focker
Really? To you waving your hands over him? He's not a Ouija board, Kevin.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Henry Focker
Can a girl poop from her vagina?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Roz Focker
As an early Hanukkah present, I'm going to send you and Pam a box of these musical condoms.
Greg Focker
Don't do that.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Bernie Focker
Will you get out of here so I can schtup my wife?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
Sir, Where Is Andi?
Butler
I Cannot Believe Is In The Bathroom, Take It Down From This Message
Jack Byrnes
That's Good Though
Butler
Right!
Jack Byrnes
Fine!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Cafe Waitress
Can I Help You?
Greg Focker
I Would Like Some 4 Oranges
Andi Garcia
And a Bottle Of Milk Please
Cafe Waitress
Sure, I Could Take You From This Order
Greg Focker
You Got it
Cafe Waitress
Right, I'll Be Right Back!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Jack has a boner]
Greg Focker
Jack, is everything Ok down there?
Jack Byrnes
Everything's fine.
Greg Focker
Ok. All right. 'Cause you seem to have a little, I mean...
Jack Byrnes
I-I know what I have, Greg, and I'm not concerned about that right now. Right now, what I want from you is the truth.
Greg Focker
Jack... did you take one of those pills?
Jack Byrnes
Well, I was highly preoccupied and Dina wanted to make love, and the label clearly states that it's safe for heart patients.
Greg Focker
Yes, but you need a prescription after you've had a thorough examination.
[turns on a lamp]
Greg Focker
How long have you had that... situation for?
Jack Byrnes
Stop avoiding the question.
Greg Focker
I'm not avoiding the question. If you've had that for more than four hours, you could bust a capillary and have serious permanent damage. How long have you had it?
Jack Byrnes
Uh, been a little longer than four hours.
Greg Focker
How long?
Jack Byrnes
Um, maybe about five and a half.
Greg Focker
Jack, you gotta get to an ER right now and get a shot of adreneline to counteract that drug.
Jack Byrnes
Well, you're a nurse. Don't you have that kind of stuff in the house?
Greg Focker
Yeah, I have an epi-kit, but I'm not gonna give you a shot there, OK?
Jack Byrnes
Focker, there's no way I'm going to an ER room with this thing. Now, you need to stick me, and you need to stick me now! I'm having a dick attack! Stick me!
Greg Focker
Shh! Just... relax, Ok? I'll get the needle.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Bernie Focker
You kids wanna pick your nose and flick your boogers? Do it!
Pam Focker
Hey, Bernie!
Bernie Focker
But do it only when it's dry. Don't do a wet one.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Andi Garcia
Belly flop!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Greg Focker
You know what Kevin why don't you get on your giant monster yacht with your "Bubble Butt Russian girlfriend" and do Jello-shots off of Deepak Chopras butt!
Kevin Rawley
Greg please don't drag Deepak into this.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jack Byrnes
[watching a video of Greg making fun of him and a link pops up that says "click here to see my awesome remix]
Remix? What's a remix?
Greg Focker
You the guy is definitely obsessed
[Jack clicks on the link opening up the remix video]
Greg Focker
Byrnes Jack Byrnes father in law my father in law Br-Byrnes Jack Byrnes candidate for the drug obsessed with sex. Byrnes Jack-Jack-Jack Byrnes not not not getting enough no Jack Br Jack-Jack-Jack Byrnes talk about sexual frustration. Jack Byrnes obsessed with boobs he can breast feed his grandson Jack Byrnes mamama mammary gland couple of tugs on the thing themselves
[Greg makes an impression of him doing it]
Greg Focker
Hey Focker
Jack Byrnes
I don't do that.
Greg Focker
Hey Focker I got nipples okay hey Focker I got nipples wow can you milk can you milk can you milk me? The circle of trust goes round and round Jack circle of trust goes round and round Byrnes circle of trust goes round and round Jack
[a buzzer goes off]
Greg Focker
Whoa hello hot little number he's got called Jinxy
Greg Focker
Hot little number he's got called Jinxy woah hot little number he's got called Jinxy wow
[starts singing off key]
Greg Focker
Jinxy Cat Jinxy Cat I love you doo doo doo doo doo doo. The godfocker.
[Jinx hisses]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
