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Kinoafisha Films Extract Extract Movie Quotes

Extract Movie Quotes

Joel What is it with women? Y'know, they say they don't care about looks--they just want a guy who's smart and funny--but they always just end up laughing at whatever the good-looking stupid guy says.

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Joel If I don't get home before 8, she puts on the sweatpants.

Joel And once the sweatpants are on, I get nothing.

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Joel Step, I don't want to tell you what to do, but I just want you to think about this, you know? If you go beyond the settlement, you continue with the lawsuit, you could bankrupt that company. And people are going to lose their jobs, a lot of people are gonna be pissed off at you, so...

Step No, I ain't worried about that. I can kick anybody's ass at that whole company.

Joel Yeah...

Phil Well, I'm gonna kick somebody's ass if you don't close that screen door!

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Joe Adler I should fire all 3 of you. Cuz you laughed at me when I bought those bus stop bench ads. But this Step guy, he's the Holy Grail. See if both his balls had been knocked clean off, it'd be a good case, but not a great case. and with no balls, he's no man at all. The jury will never feel they can walk in the shoes of a ball-less neutered He-She freak. But Step! He's got one ball! Barely. But to a jury, he's still a man. And that man is hanging on by a thread. I'M TELLING YOU, THIS MAN IS A FUCKING POWERBALL. THIS GUY IS A... Oh hello. I'm Joe Adler.

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Dean You should try smoking a little pot.

Joel That's a drug.

Dean It's not a drug. It's a flower.

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Dean [looking at Cindy through the office window] Damn! She work here?

Joel Yes, she's a temp.

Dean She's a tramp?

Joel "Temp!"

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Suzie I thought that was a surprisingly tasteful funeral.

Joel Yes, it was. You know, when I was looking down on him, I thought, this might be the longest I've ever seen him with his mouth shut.

Suzie Yeah...

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Suzie Who'd you want to have an affair with, anyway?

Joel Just some criminal drifter.

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Dean That's how we're gonna solve all our modern problems. Wisdom of the ancients.

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Dean You need to take some Xanax.

Joel Xanax? Isn't that for anxiety?

Dean It's good for all psychological problems in the DSM-IV. Xanax basically just makes you feel good. That's why it works for *everything*. I take it for the common head cold!

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Dean [as Brad walks out of the bar] There he goes... Johnny Horsecock.

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Joel You had sex with my wife again?

Brad Well, I figured we already did it once, so what's the big deal, right? Besides, I'm not going to charge you.

Joel You're not going to charge... You *are* going to charge me and I am going to pay you, because you are not going to have sex with my wife for free, all right?

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Joel Thanks for the drugs, Dean!

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Brad Hey you weren't supposed to be here for another 4 hours... What happened to your face?

Joel same thing...! Your face is going to look like my face if I ever... ! Actually, your face is going to look worse than mine if...

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Joel What if I tell her you did it all for money? How about that, Ding-Ding?

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Brian Hey, and I need to fire Hector. You know, cuz of What's-her-Face's purse and Dinkus' wallet.

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Dean [aside to Joel as he comes into Joel's office, and is dumbfounded seeing Cindy for the first time] Oh, damn! Goodness.

Dean [turning back to Cindy, warmly shaking her hands] Hi. Dean. Entrepreneur, spiritualist, healer.

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Dean You know, I'm starting to think this might have been a mistake.

Joel Really?

Dean Maybe it was my fault, you know?, maybe it was your fault.

Joel No, it's yours.

Dean A lot of blame to go around here. I think there are some people who just aren't meant to do drugs, *Joel*. I think you're one of those people, man.

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Joel I think that I just got distracted with Dean, and the drugs, and the gigolos.

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Rory I don't want to work at Southwest Airlines. They make you do the limbo. I would be the laughingstock of the grindcore community.