The Doctor"Eureka" is Greek for "this bath is too hot."
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The DoctorNow drop your weapons or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly baby.
WarriorKill him, then.
The DoctorWhat?
WarriorKill him, then.
The DoctorI don't take orders from anyone.
[Eats jelly baby]
The DoctorTake me to your leader.
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The DoctorAnybody remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another.
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The DoctorYou know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that need altering.
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The DoctorYou're a classic example of the inverse relationship between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.
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The DoctorAllow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind that I've ever encountered.
The DoctorI'm not helping you, officially. And if anyone happens to ask whether I made any material difference to the welfare of this planet, you can tell them I came and went like a summer cloud.
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The DoctorI think you'll find, Sir, that I'm qualified to deal with practically everything, if I choose.
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The DoctorSmall though it is, the human brain can be quite effective when used properly.
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The DoctorRest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead.
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BrigadierMost of their work's so secret, they don't know what they're doing themselves.
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EldradWhere are your weapons?
The Doctor[tapping his head] In here.
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The DoctorMy last incarnation... oh, I was never happy with that one. It had a sort of feckless "charm" which simply wasn't *me*!
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The DoctorTo the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained.
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The Fifth DoctorIf the freighter crashes into Earth with you onboard, won't that make it rather difficult for you to carry out your task? I mean, you would be very crumpled.
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FitzwilliamHe is said to be the best swordsman in France.
The DoctorWell, fortunately, we are in England.
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LeelaThe Evil One.
The DoctorWell, nobody's perfect, but that's overstating it a little.
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The DoctorTime and tide melts the snowman.
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The DoctorThe trouble with computers, of course, is that they're very sophisticated idiots. They do exactly what you tell them at amazing speed. Even if you order them to kill you. So if you do happen to change your mind, it's very difficult to stop them from obeying the original order.
[stops computer from destroying Earth]
The DoctorBut not impossible.
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The Fourth DoctorWould you mind not standing on me, my hat's on fire.
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OmegaMy brothers became Time Lords, while I was abandoned and forgotten.
The DoctorNo, not forgotten. All my life I've known of you, and cherished you as our greatest hero.
OmegaA hero?
[shouts]
OmegaI should have been a God!
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The DoctorDon't worry. I always leave things until the last moment.
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Capt. Mike YatesI see. So all we've got to deal with is something which is either too small to see or thirty feet tall, can incinerate you or freeze you to death, turn stone images into homicidal monsters and looks like the devil.
The DoctorExactly.
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The DoctorI had to face my fear. That was more important than just going on living.
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The DoctorIt's very very old, perhaps even older.
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The DoctorI am the Doctor, whether you like it or not.
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BrigadierAs long as he does the job, he can wear what face he likes.
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AdricCould anyone pass the sodium chloride, please?
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The DoctorWhat is the one thing evil cannot face, not ever?
TeganWhat?
The DoctorItself.
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The DoctorNo. Impossible. I'm fully booked for the next two centuries.
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AdricSo what is a railway station?
The DoctorWell, a place where one embarks and disembarks from compartments on wheels drawn along these tracks by a steam engine - rarely on time
NyssaWhat a very silly activity.
The DoctorYou think so? As a boy, I always wanted to drive one.
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The DoctorHow do you feel now?
TeganGroggy, sore and bad tempered.
The DoctorAlmost your old self.
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The Doctor[on the TARDIS] As an invasion weapon, you'd have to agree that it's about as offensive as a chicken vol-au-vent.
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The DoctorA little gratitude wouldn't irretrievably damage my ego.
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The Doctor[after being shoved by Hermann the butler] I say, what a wonderful butler, he's so violent.
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The DoctorYou see, if you take any progressive series, it can be converted into binary notation. Now, if you take the sum of the integrants and express the result as a power series, then the indices show the basic binary blocks, only I wouldn't do it if I were you.
The DoctorTrue. But they don't know that, do they?
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The DoctorLike Alice, I try to believe three impossible things before breakfast.
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LeelaWithin the black wall wherein lies paradise.
The DoctorIs that just religious gobbledygook or is that an actual place?
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StorI am Commander Stor of the Sontaran Special Space Service.
The DoctorThe SSSS. Eh, isn't that carrying alliteration a little far?
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The DoctorUnstable? Unstable? Unstable? This is me, Peri! Right now I am as stable as you will ever see me! You must forget how I used to be. I'm a Time Lord. A man of science, temperament, and *passion*!"
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The DoctorInto the matrix. Where the only logic is there isn't any logic.
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The Third DoctorGood grief, man, it's as simple as Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity.
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The DoctorDeactivating a generator loop without the correct key is like repairing a watch with a hammer and chisel. One false move and you'll never know the time again.
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The DoctorOnce upon a time there were three sisters, and they lived in the bottom of a treacle well. Their names were Olga, Marsha and Irene... Are you listening, Tillie? I feel disorientated.
The DoctorYou know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delight and satisfaction of the arts... the gentle art of fisticuffs.
The DoctorWell, within a couple of billion miles, yes.
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The DoctorI never carry weapons. If people see you mean them no harm, they never hurt you. Nine times out of ten.
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The DoctorYou're working for a madman, you know.
ScorbyHe pays well.
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Adric[sitting atop a big gun, hands on controls] I don't know what these levers do, but it's pointing in your direction.
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BrigadierYou've been agitating for a new assistant ever since Miss Shaw went back to Cambridge.
The DoctorLiz was a highly-qualified scientist. I want someone with the same qualifications.
BrigadierNonsense. What you need, Doctor, as Miss Shaw has so often remarked, is someone to pass you your test tubes and to tell you how brilliant you are. Miss Grant will fulfill that function admirably.
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StyggronResistance is inadvisable.
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[to the Cybermen]
The DoctorYou have no home planet, no influence, nothing! You're just a pathetic bunch of tin soldiers skulking around the galaxy in an antique space craft.
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RomanaYou mean you didn't believe his story?
The DoctorNo.
RomanaBut he had such an honest face.
The DoctorRomana, you can't be a successful crook with a dishonest face, can you?
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The Fourth Doctor[to Leela after she almost knifes him] It's a good thing your tribe never invented firearms... they'd've woken with a start one morning and wiped themselves out.
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[the seventh Doctor's first line]
The DoctorThat was a nice nap, now down to business.
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The DoctorI'm not only from another culture but another planet. I am in your terms an alien.
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The DoctorI was trying to help. Surely even a blockhead like you can see that!
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BrigadierA dream? Really, Doctor. You'll be consulting the entrails of a sheep next.
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OmegaAbsolute power is absolute freedom.
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GarronI admit I had a great struggle with me conscience. Fortunately, I won.
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SandersI never think twice about anything. Wastes too much time.
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The DoctorThat's the trouble with antimatter. You can see the effect but not the cause. It's like being punched on the nose by the invisible man.
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BirocThe weak enslave themselves.
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The DoctorI'm sorry to tell you that Romana can look after herself. We're Time Lords. Not like those innocents on Atrios, you know. Time Lords, sent by the Guardian to recover the Key to Time.
The ShadowI know who you are, Doctor, I have always known. I have been waiting for you. I too serve a Guardian, a Guardian equal and opposite in power to the one you serve. The Black Guardian - he who walks in darkness. And you are in the valley of the Shadow!
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The DoctorNo, there's something else going on here. I was taken out of time for another reason and I have every intention of finding out what it is!
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The DoctorWell, look at me. I'm old, lacking in vigour, my mind's in turmoil. I no longer know if I'm coming, have gone, or even been. I'm falling to pieces. I no longer even have any clothes sense... Self-pity is all I have left.
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TurloughWhat is it about Earth people that makes them think a futile gesture is a noble one?
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Yrcanos[to the Doctor] You think like a warrior but you do not act like one; it's most perplexing.
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YrcanosEveryone has a "point" nowadays. I am a man of action, not reason!
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The DoctorAhhh... a noble brow. Clear gaze. At least it will be given a few hours sleep. A firm mouth. A face beaming with a vast intelligence. My dear child what on Earth are you complaining about? It's the most extraordinary improvement.
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The DoctorMaybe I am getting too young for this sort of thing.
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The DoctorOne good, solid hope's worth a cartload of certainty.
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LeelaI don't know what to believe anymore.
The DoctorWell that sounds healthy, anyway, Leela; never be certain of anything. It's a sign of weakness.
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Organon[introducing himself to the Doctor] Astrologer extraordinary. Seer to princes and emperors. The future foretold, the past explained, the present... apologised for.
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NyssaYou killed my father?
The MasterBut his body remains useful.
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The DoctorAnd kindly refrain from addressing me as "Doc", Perpugilliam.
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BrigadierI never thought I'd have to fire in anger at a dratted caterpillar.
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AdricWill Romana be all right?
The DoctorAll right? She'll be superb.
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GlitzSomehow I always feel foolish saying this... Take me to your leader!
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GuardI think you'll find that most educated people regard mythical convictions as functionally animistic. Personally, I find most experiences border on the existential.
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The DoctorWell, well. The Rani. I can't say I think much about your outfit. Doesn't do a thing for you.
The RaniYour regeneration isn't too appealing either.
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The DoctorTerran insects. Aerodynamically impossible for them to fly, but they do it. I'm rather fond of bumblebees.
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The MasterOne must rule or serve. That is the basic law of life. Why do you hesitate? Surely it's not loyalty to the Time Lords, who exiled you to one insignificant planet?
The DoctorYou'll never understand. I want to see the universe, not to rule it.
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The MasterThe whole world can be ours. I only need two things - your submission and your obedience to my will!
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A DalekWe must find the traitors. The enemy of the Daleks must be destroyed.
DalekWe are not traitors. We serve our creator Davros.
A DalekThe Supreme Dalek is your ruler! He must be obeyed at all times.
DalekDavros must be honoured.
A DalekHe must be exterminated. Nothing must interfere in the true destiny of the Daleks! You must be exterminated! Exterminated!
[shouts]
A DalekExterminated!
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The DoctorThis is madness. The Daleks won't thank you for capturing me, they'll kill you.
SteinI didn't quite tell you the truth. I serve the Daleks. I'm a Dalek agent.
[Daleks enter and surround The Doctor]
DaleksExterminate the doctor!
[shouting]
DaleksExterminate the doctor! Exterminate! Exterminate!
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CybermanEffective penetration should be immediate.
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The ValeyardThe future? Is it going to be the Doctor's defense that he improves?
The DoctorMore of a clown actually. Would you like to hear my rendering of "On With the Motley"?
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[repeated line]
CyberleaderExcellent!
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[about to be accused of murder again]
The DoctorYou don't think?... You do think.
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The DoctorThink about me when you're living your life one day after another, all in a neat pattern. Think about the homeless traveller in his old police box, his days like crazy paving.
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Count FedericoHe is but one man.
The DoctorYou can't count, Count.
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The DoctorHe could end up anywhere except where he wants to go.
TeganRather like the Tardis, really.
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The DoctorHe's gone to see a man about a god.
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The DoctorIt's part of a Time Lord's job to insist on justice for all species.
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The DoctorOne grows tired of jelly babies, Castellan. One grows tired of almost everything, Castellan, except power.
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The DoctorSuperior intelligence and senseless cruelty just do not go together.
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The DoctorWell, look at me. I'm old, lacking in vigor, my mind's in a turmoil. I no longer know if I'm coming, have gone, or even been. I'm falling to pieces; I no longer even have any clothes sense. Self-pity is all I have left.
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The DoctorYou remember the Mona Lisa? That dreadful woman with no eyebrows who wouldn't sit still?
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Castellan GuardThe Castellan will have me shot, sir.
The DoctorWell, that's all right; I'll have him shot.
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OhicaYou feign ignorance, Time Lord?
The DoctorPlease, just call me Doctor. I hate all this bowing and scraping.
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StrikerYou are a Time Lord, a lord of Time. Are there Lords in such a small domain?
The DoctorThe Time Lords are an immensely civilized race. We can control our own environment - we can live forever, barring accidents and we have the secret of space / time travel.
LinxWe're sworn enemies, Doctor. Why should you help me?
Dr. WhoBecause I want something from you. If you will let me de-hypnotise the people and send them home, and help me capture Irongron and his men, then I will assist you in the repairs to your spaceship. The weapons you've made for Irongron you can leave here in the castle. When it's empty, you can take-off, destroying castle and weapons at the same time. Alright, Commander Linx, what do you say?
LinxYou wish for my answer, Doctor?
Dr. WhoI do.
LinxThen here it is.
[shoots the Doctor]
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The DoctorThat was simply transmigration of object. There's a great deal of difference between that and pure science, you know.
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DalekWe are the superior beings!
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The MasterWho in the whole galaxy is not my inferior? There is not one creature!
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DavrosFor the last time. I am your creator! You must, you *will* obey me!
DalekWe obey no-one. We are the superior beings!
[shouts]
DalekExterminate!
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[repeated line]
DaleksExterminate!
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DalekThe Daleks offer you life.
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DalekWe are entombed, but we live on. This is only the beginning. We will prepare, we will grow stronger. When the time is right we will emerge and take our rightful place as
[shouts]
Dalekthe supreme power of the universe!
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The MasterThe human body has a basic weakness. One which I shall exploit to assist in the destruction of humanity.
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The MasterAh, the tribal taboos of army etiquette. I find it difficult to identify with such primitive absurdities.
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The MasterNobody, and nothing, can stop me now!
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The DoctorWell, if he really does believe such unimaginable rubbish he must be faced by some unimaginable disaster which has unhinged his mind.
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The ValeyardThere's nothing you can do to prevent the catharsis of spurious morality.
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CyberleaderCybermen can survive more efficiently than animal organisms. That is why we will rule the galaxy.
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D84It is a Laserson probe. It can punch a fist-sized hole through six-inch armour plate, or take the crystals from a snowflake one by one.
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The DoctorA hyperactive Peri - too ghastly to contemplate.
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The DoctorThe Rani is a genius. Shame I can't stand her. I wonder if I was particularly nice to her, she might - nope, no, of course not...
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The MasterThe Doctor won't tolerate anyone deliberately playing havoc with his favorite planet.
