[Hannah Pitt approaches a Homeless Woman]
Hannah Pitt
Excuse me. I said excuse me. Can you tell me where I am? Is this Brooklyn? Do you know a Pineapple Street or is there some train or bus I...?
[sets down bags exaustedly]
Hannah Pitt
I'm lost. I just arrived from Salt Lake City.
[beet]
Hannah Pitt
Utah? I took the bus I was told to take and I got off... well it was the very last stop so I had to get off and I asked the driver was this Brooklyn and he nodded yes. But he was from one of those foreign countries where they think it's good manners to nod at everything, even if you don't know what it is you're nodding at. In truth I think he spoke no English at all... which I think would make him ineligible for employment on public transportation, you know with the public being English-speaking... mostly. Do you speak English.
Homeless Woman
[nods yes]
Hannah Pitt
Well I was supposed to be met at the airport by my son and he didn't show. And I don't wait more than three and three quarters hours for anyone, so I should have been more patient... I guess. But is this...
Homeless Woman
Bronx.
Hannah Pitt
[confused] Is that The Bronx? How in the name of Heaven did I get to The Bronx? When that drive...
Homeless Woman
-slurp... slurp... will you stop that disgusting slurping, you disgusting slurping animal, feeding yourself. What would it matter to yourself or anyone if you just stop feeding and DIED!
Homeless Woman
Why was the Koziuscko Bridge named after a Po-lack?
Hanna
I don't know what you're talking ab...
Homeless Woman
It was a joke.
Hanna
Well what's the punch line?
Homeless Woman
I don't know.
Hanna
Oh for Petes' sake!
[to the street]
Hanna
Is there anyone who can tell me...
Homeless Woman
[yelling to no one in particular] Stand further off you fat loathsome whore, you can't have any more of this soup slurp slurp slurp you animal, and I know you'll just go pee it all away and where will you do that behind what bush! It's fucking cold out here and I-
[gulp]
Homeless Woman
... not right because I'm supposed to live in a tunnel.
[to Hannah]
Homeless Woman
You're not very funny. Have you read the propecies of Nostradomus?
Homeless Woman
Some guy I once went out with somewhere. Nostradomus... prophet... outcast... eyes like scary shit, he would...
Hannah Pitt
Shut up! Please stop jabbering for one minute and pull your wits together and tell me how to get to Brooklyn, because you know and you're going to tell me because there is no one else around to tell me and I'm cold and I'm wet and I'm very, very angry. So I'm sorry that you're psychotic but just make an effort. Pull yourself together and take a deep breath.
[Homeless Woman stares dumbfounded at Hannah]
Homeless Woman
[stuggles to take in a breath]
[blows air out of her mouth]
Homeless Woman
[Tries to mimic Hannah's exhaling with mixed results]
Homeless Woman
Hmmm... don't know.
[Hannah slumps defeatedly]
Homeless Woman
Want some soup?
Hannah Pitt
Manhattan? I don't suppose you know the address of the Mormon Visitor Center.
Homeless Woman
65th and Broadway.
Homeless Woman
I go there all the time. Free movies. Boring, but you can stay all day.
Homeless Woman
Take the D train. Next block take a right.
[Hannah picks up her bags and starts walking away. Homeless Woman dumps out the rest of her soup and throws the empty container in to a bin, startling Hannah]
Homeless Woman
In the new century, I think we will all be insane.
[Hannah hurries away as fast as she can]