Pappass
I'm not retarded anymore.
Tom Warshaw
Oh really?
Pappass
Really.
Tom Warshaw
When did that happen?
Pappass
Aww, 1984. Sometime in the spring. I went from retard to mentally handicapped. And then in 1987-88, I went from handicapped to challenged. I changed again. I'm probably changing right now, you know. Who knows what I'll be next?
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Mr. Pappass
You know why your mother died, son? She killed herself because she had a retarded son, isn't that right?
Tommy Warshaw
She got hit by a car.
Mr. Pappass
She walked in front of a car because she had a retarded son.
Tommy Warshaw
She was drunk.
Mr. Pappass
She was drunk because her son's retarded.
Tommy Warshaw
She was drunk because she was married to you, you loser.
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Tom Warshaw
My story starts where ever man's story starts: with mom.
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Coralie Warshaw
A man is only a man when he can be who he is wherever he is.
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Reverend Duncan
Because of some bureaucratic shenanigans and some nonsense in the U.S. constitution called the seperation of church and state, this class will no longer be called Bible Study. It will be called Ethics. Well, that's my civic duty done. Now open you bibles, boys, to Genesis 19:4.
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Tommy Warshaw
Solid according to you, lady, girls like fools and small balls. So I'm pretty much covered.
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Pappass
If you make a wish and don't tell nobody, it could come true.
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Pappass
Do you ever miss your dad?
Tommy Warshaw
All the time.
Pappass
Want mine?
Tommy Warshaw
No thanks.
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Katherine Warshaw
Go on. Run away just like your father.
Tommy Warshaw
He didn't run away, Mom. He died.
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Tommy Warshaw
Hey! My mom says it's crazy in there! She says you've got rats, roaches... lesbianism...
Lady
[laughing]
I guess I'm safe from that last one. I'm in solitary.
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Bernadette
[from her apartment window]
Tommy.
Bernadette
Tommy, we did what we had to do - didn't we?
Tom Warshaw
[just staring back]
Bernadette
It's alright. She understands. Your poor mama. She understands a boy have to go away before he come back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Tom Warshaw
[breaks down in tears]
Bernadette
Run, Tommy.
Tom Warshaw
I don't have to run anymore. Lady, I can walk now.
Bernadette
I know you can walk. And I know you can dance. But I'm sayin' this is a bad neighborhood for a lone white boy. Now, run.
[mocks running with her arms]
Bernadette
Run! Run! Run, Tommy!
Tom Warshaw
[turns and goes]
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Pappass
Places change like people change.
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Tom Warshaw
You forgive me, Pappass?
Pappass
Yeah.
[startled]
Pappass
For what? Look at you, Tom-ass.
Tom Warshaw
What?
Pappass
Look at you.
Tom Warshaw
Look at what, Papp-ass?
Pappass
You have the dad face now.
[pushing out an old man jaw]
Pappass
My dad died... a lot of sleeps ago. Cancer ate him, just your dad. Cancer is the crab on the horoscope. Crab dinner, "$6.95, all you can eat."
Tom Warshaw
Sorry, Pappass.
Pappass
It's okay, 'cause the crab ate all the hard parts first, the mean parts. The parts that hate me being retarded. Just before he died when he was only mostly dead, he was *so* nice. 'Cause only the soft parts were left. He was the nicest guy in the world. He hugged me, and he told me over and over, he loved me, he loved me, he loved me.
Tom Warshaw
Pappass...
[patting his knee]
Pappass
I hate seafood. You know, Tommy, sometimes I think the crab ate me while I was still in my mom's belly. I think it are all my smart parts. Do you think that's what happened, Tommy?
Tom Warshaw
No.
Pappass
No?
Tom Warshaw
I think you got plenty of smart parts, Pappass.
Pappass
Yeah.
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Pappass
I shaved my ass once. Bald as a cue ball.
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Reverend Duncan
[while dancing with a student at a school dance]
You better leave room for Jesusthere, Miss Johnson.
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Tommy Warshaw
If I want to exercise my god given freedom to experience people getting cut up by chainsaws and hung on meat hooks, I think I have the constitutional right to do so, don't you?
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Tommy Warshaw
Just stay cool and give me the dad face.
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[first lines]
Tom Warshaw
[narrating]
My name is Tom Warshaw. I'm an American artist living in Paris. I've lived here for 30 years with a secret nobody knows. My son, Odell, is turning 13 today. And for his birthday, I'm gonna tell him my secret.
Tom Warshaw
I'm gonna tell him, "You know how in old movies when the bad guys want to break into a safe? There's this one guy, the safecracker, who puts his ear up to the lock and listens as he dials the combination, listening for what they call in English, the tumblers. Because when the number is right, there's a click, and he knows with the click, he's breaking in. Well, in a man's life, there's a tumbler too. And I think that number is 13, when there's a click and a boy breaks into manhood. And the safe of his life open up and Shazam, there are all the riches of what a man can hope for and hope to be."
Tom Warshaw
What I want to say to my son is, the opposite thing happened for me when I turned 13. Instead of opening, the safe locked shut on me. Because of certain things that happened, I couldn't hear the tumblers anymore. Now that he's turning 13, I'm hearing the tumblers again. Maybe it's like we're becoming men together.
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Pappass
No tittie. No tittie at all. I've seen lemons bigger.
Tommy Warshaw
Pappass!
Melissa
It's okay, I really don't care.
[sits down]
Melissa
[speechless]
Tommy Warshaw
But that's good, right?
Melissa
I don't know.
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Bernadette
[from jail cell above the street]
You know why I'm in here, boy?
Tommy Warshaw
No.
Bernadette
I murdered my husband, in his sleep, with my bare hands. I'm a murderer! I *hate* men! And if they let me out this bitch, I'll kill again! I mean, if you get in my way, I might even kill you!
Tommy Warshaw
I don't care.
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