Sebastian[quoting Søren Kierkegaard's 'The Concept of Anxiety']You must accept yourself as fallible in order to love others and life.
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Opening title card[Søren Kierkegaard quote] What is youth? A dream. What is love? The content of the dream.
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MartinJosse, there's an election with three candidates, so who do you vote for? No. 1: He is partially paralyzed from polio. He has hypertension. He's anemic and suffers from an array of serious illnesses. He lies if it suits his purpose and consults astrologists on his politics. He cheats on his wife, chain-smokes, and drinks too many martinis. No. 2: He's overweight, and he's already lost three elections. He suffers from depression and has had two heart attacks. He's impossible to work with and smokes cigars non-stop. And every night when he goes to bed, he drinks incredible amounts of champagne, cognac, port, whiskey, and adds two sleeping pills before dozing off. The last one, No. 3: He's a highly decorated war hero. He treats women with respect. He loves animals, never smokes, and only has a beer on rare occasions. Josse, who do you vote for? Josse: The last one. Martin: The last one, No. 3? And the rest of you? Students: Yes, No. 3. Martin: Oh boy! You just discarded Franklin D. Roosevelt... Winston L. Churchill... and thankfully you elected this guy.
[reveals a photo of Adolf Hitler]
MartinStudents: Hitler? Martin: Focus! It's funny, but there's a point to this, which is important and which I hope you'll understand someday: the world is never as you expect.
AnikaI've missed us. For a long time. Maybe too long.
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NikolajA daily consumption of alcohol at a variable and individual level in order to achieve optimal professional and social performance and the ensuing collection of evidence of psychological and psycho-rhetorical effects.
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AnikaI couldn't care less if you drink with your friends. That's not the point. This entire country drinks like maniacs anyway. Don't you see that our problem is that you're never really present? You're completely invisible! And when you have fun, it's with someone other than me.
MartinAre you also having fun with someone other than me? Do you have fun with someone other than me?
AnikaMartin, I couldn't just... I couldn't just sit here and wait for you.
MartinDon't sit here and wait for me. Just get out. Get out of here. Get out. Get the hell out of here! What the hell are you saying to me? What are you saying to me? Nobody has to wait for me. Nobody has to wait for me!
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MartinCaro? What are the rules of the Lake Race? Is the question understood?
CaroYes. You race around the lake and drink a case of beer against the clock.
JasonYou get a time deduction, but if you vomit alone...
MartinThey add time, got it. Okay, show of hands. How many of you take part in the Lake Race? Everyone. I swear, no one could tell. This is interesting because we're talking about Churchill and besides writing 37 books in 58 volumes, painting over 500 paintings, receiving the Nobel Prize in literature, and winning WW2 as one of the world's greatest commanders, he also said: 'I never drink before breakfast.' So, when you run around totally wasted, throwing up in bushes and alleys, don't feel alone, because you're in great company. Grant, Hemingway and old Winston could kick your ass in the Lake Race. But the question is: If you're to take a history exam, which one of you ambitious youngsters will flunk big time, and who will pass? In other words, who will do as Hemingway and blow his brains out, and who will win a world war?
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MartinYou've got your students. They're gonna remember you forever.
PeterThey're gonna forget all about us the moment they're out the door.
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NikolajI spoke to a senior psychologist at a leading hospital about a chapter he entitled 'Harmful Consumption of Alcohol'. For a longer period of time.
NikolajNo. I'd like for us to examine the entire spectrum of alcohol. I mean, if we're to do a report? Skårderud talks about ignition. After 7-10 units you either get tired and go home or you get a restless mouth: The more you get, the more you want. You want to drink anything all the time. I'd like for us to drink to the point of ignition... and beyond. I'm talking about the ultimate catharsis. Total oblivion.
NikolajHow the hell am I? I can't complain. I have a beautiful wife, I live by the sea, and she's loaded. We have three kids who sleep in our bed and pee on us every night. I never sleep anymore.
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PeterStop! Stop, stop. It sounds like a Christmas party at a swinger club. Come on. Klara, seriously. You sing divinely, but it's not about me hearing you. It's about you listening to each other. Stand up. Close your eyes. Try to be completely... calm. And plant your feet solidly on the ground and... There! Open your eyes. Good morning. Now we will sing with our ears, our hearts, with our souls. And... hold hands for a second. Let the energy flow through you. There. Find the common pulse. I'll give you the note.
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MartinMalthe, put your phone away unless you want to share it with all of us?
NikolajSazerac. 5 cl bourbon, 1 cl absinthe. The jazz musicians in New Orleans created it to look like a watered-down cocktail. But it's pure alcohol. I mean, it's...
NikolajTo coat it with absinthe. Then add this. And now for the magic touch. Hand me the orange. You cut off a slice. The peel contains a fragrant oil.
NikolajWhat is psychology? Can anyone tell me what psychology is? Psychology is the scientific study of human psychological processes, which is what we'll work on the coming year. Why do we behave, experience and react as we do?
IrmamedarbejderI'm afraid we're out of fresh. We've only got frozen.
PeterWhy haven't you got fresh cod when all months with an R in them are cod months?
IrmamedarbejderWell, it may be in season...
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NikolajStudy of high alcohol intake aspiring to reach maximum level, with special focus on observation of emancipating psychological effects. The study is conducted in private to avoid negative interference from and with the surroundings.
NikolajIt's like we have a new kind of connection.
PeterReally? Did the kids move out? Or are they sleeping through the night now?
NikolajWell, it helps that I've stopped wetting the bed.
MartinIt's the little things that make all the difference.
NikolajGood tip. I think we're doing fine. Even Amalie has finally admitted that we've come a long way.
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TommyIf I'm to spend my spare time on you little pissants, you better behave.
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PeterWe're not the first people in the world to drink a little alcohol during the day. Hemingway, for instance, he drank every day until 8 p.m., and then stopped so that he was fit to write the next day. And his work was masterful. So if we're doing this, I guess that'll be our approach.
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MartinAnd for those of you who've been asleep for the past 18 years, this is: General Grant, Ernest Hemingway and good old Winston Churchill. What do you have in common with them? You drink like pigs. Every week, all year round. A lot of alcohol, so let me ask you a few questions. Jason, you're a feisty one. How much do you drink in a week?
JasonI don't know.
MartinYou can tell me, I won't tell anyone. National Board of Health recommends max. 14 units for men and 7 for women. Jason, Jason, Jason, do you drink more or less than recommended?
JasonWell... I drink Thursday, Friday and Saturday... and a bit on Sunday. And Wednesday, if there's a Champion's League game on.
NikolajHe could only play at the exact point of being neither drunk nor sober. And he was absolutely brilliant. And you want to take this to the Tchaikovsky level.
