Hotel Transylvania Movie Quotes
Dracula
[against the window of an airplane, sees a Twilight movie playing]
This is how we're represented, unbelievable.
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Jonathan
Are these monsters gonna kill me?
Dracula
Not as long as they think you're a monster.
Jonathan
That's kinda racist.
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Jonathan
I'm Dracula, Bleh, bleh-bleh!
Dracula
I've never said that in my life. 'Bleh, bleh-bleh.' I don't know where that comes from!
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Gremlin Lady
Excuse me. One of your piranhas in the lake is very rude. He ate my sister-in-law.
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Jonathan
Uh, can I just ask? What exactly is this place?
Dracula
What is this place? It's a place I built, for all those monsters out there lurking in the shadows. Hiding from the persecution of human kind. A for them and their families to come to and be themselves. A void of torches, pitchforks, angry mobs. A place of peace, relaxation, and tranquility.
Jonathan
Cool, so it's like a hotel for monsters?
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Martha
Your zing will come, cherish it my love, love mommy.
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Dracula
What? My hands in a tan shoe?
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Jonathan
Yeah, well, I was afraid your dad was gonna suck all the blood out of my body if I didn't say that.
Dracula
I wouldn't have... No, he's right, I would have done that.
Mavis
Dad.
Dracula
I was wrong, Devil-chops.
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Dracula
[Runs after Quasimodo to rescue Jonathan, but is stopped by Mavis]
Mavis? Why are you still up? The sun is out. It could kill you, my honey-gut.
Mavis
I couldn't sleep. You know where Jonny went?
Dracula
I don't know. He -
[Turns around & eyes her down angrily]
Dracula
Why do you want know?
Mavis
Oh! Uh,
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Wayne
[Drac, Wayne, Murray, Griffin and Frank are driving and come across a flock of sheep. Wayne, unseen, runs out of the car and eats all the sheep so that they can proceed]
What? Now there's no sheep in the road. Let's go.
Murray
That was pretty sick, man.
Wayne
You eat lamb chops, it's the same thing.
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[Quasimodo kicks a suit of armor in the groin]
Suit of Armor
Ow! Why did that hurt me?
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Mavis
Uhm... who is that?
Dracula
Who was what?
Jonathan
[groans]
Dracula
Oh that. That is ahh... nobody.
Mavis
Seriously dad?
Jonathan
Dad?
Mavis
Yeah, I know Dracula's daughter. Everyone freaks out at first.
Jonathan
Dracula?
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Dracula
Listen to me, you are never to return here. Your are to stay away and tell no humans about this place. Or I will track you down, and suck every ounce of blood from you body, until you look like a deflated whoopee cushion!
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Jonathan
Sure, oh, well, how old are you?
Mavis
118.
Jonathan
100 and...
[Dracula elbows Jonathan in the stomach]
Jonathan
Yeah, I'm 121.
Mavis
Really?
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Eunice
English, please! Your voice is REALLY annnoying!
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Murray
Drac, I swear, man, I don't run like that.
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Dracula
I do not say, "Bleh bleh bleh"!
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Mavis
Is it true, are you a human?
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[repeated line]
Mavis
Holy rabies!
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Dracula
[after noticing Mavis kissing Jonny]
[rushes in between them and shouts at Jonny]
Dracula
How could you? After I shared my pain with you?
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Mavis
Ha-what-what?
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Dracula
Hey you don't need a manikin!
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Jonathan
Look at me, I'm a Frankenhomie!
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Quasimodo
When you bump with the hump, you land on your rump!
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Dracula
I know I lied. I was wrong. But you have to believe this: Johnny wasn't a bad guy. The truth is, I don't know if humans are bad anymore. Frank, come on, buddy. You understand.
Eunice
He's not talking to you. First you tell us humans are bad, now they're good, what else? Up is down, cold is hot, gremlins don't smell.
Gremlin Man
Hey!
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Dracula
Good morning Mavey Wavey.
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Dracula
Welcome To Hotel Transylvania!
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Wayne
Yeah it's a mess back there.
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Mavis
Oh, hi humans.
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Dracula
House-keeping!
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Dracula
Evil villain you will never win!
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Dracula
It's ok we all get stomachaches Mr Big Foot.
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[last lines as she's eating letters on the ending credits]
Elderly Gremlin
I didn't do that.
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[first lines]
Dracula
Peek-a-boo!
Baby Mavis
[crying]
Dracula
No, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean to starle you, my little baby. Shh, shh, shh.
Dracula
[Dracula singing to baby Mavis] Hush, little vampire, don't say a word / Papa's gonna bite the head off a bird
Dracula
A-bitty-goo-bah! I vant to kiss your *tush.*
[Dracula kissing tush to baby Mavis and changes the diaper]
Dracula
I vant to kiss your *tush!*
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Dracula
[Dracula reading a tale book to little Mavis in the bed]
And then the monsters ran away and were forced into hiding. But Harry the Human found them and jumped out from under their bed.
Young Mavis
[Mavis hides the bedding]
I'm scared!
Dracula
And burned their clothes, and bit their toes!
[Dracula seeks bedding and not seen little Mavis]
Dracula
And took their candy!
[Dracula looks down little Mavis in the bedroom's hide]
Young Mavis
Don't take my candy.
Dracula
Babyclaws, you don't need to be frightened. I promised your mommy I would protect you forever.
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Young Mavis
What out there?
Dracula
Oh, we never go out there. Ever.
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Wayne
[as his many children are in the process of destroying the hotel lobby]
Hey, kids, reel it in! You're only supposed to make mom and dad miserable!
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Murray
[to his female mummy friend after Frankenstein's flatulence is blown into the fireplace creating a large explosion]
I was NOT the cause of that!
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Dracula
No one will harm her here.
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Foreman
But, of course, be smart. No bonefires, no fireworks shows
Dracula
Yeah, yeah. No, no. No fire. I get it, i get it.
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Mavis
It's amazing.
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Dracula
She's always here, Wanda.
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Jonathan
Huh? That's kinda racist.
Dracula
We'll talk later.
[Johnny is imitating Frank]
Dracula
No, no! Of course not, because he's...
[stops Johnny from imitating]
Mavis
He's your cousin. Johnny-stein.
Frankenstein
I don't have no cousin.
Dracula
No, no, you do. He's your sixth cousin, three times removed.
Dracula
Frank, if your arm can talk, it would tell you that the original owner of your arm had a brother...
Jonathan
...Who married a woman...
Dracula
...Who was...
[makes killing gesture]
Jonathan
...For strangling a pig.
Frankenstein
I have pig strangling blood in my arm? That's kinda cool.
[to Johnny]
Frankenstein
Well, Cuz, great to meetcha.
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Murray
[Seeing signs for the festival in the village]
Did they know we were coming ?
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Jonathan
Whoa check out the view from up here , you can almost see all the way to Budapest .
Mavis
Who da pest ? is that anywhere near Ha wifi ?
Jonathan
Huh? oh you mean Hawaii , I just went to a music festival there .
Mavis
A human music festival ?
Jonathan
I believe so .
Mavis
Did they shove garlic bread in your face and try to bite your toes ?
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Griffin
And look out for pitchforks.
Murray
Don't you let anyone scoop your brains out, either.
Wayne
Maybe stay in the shadows. lt's more fun to just observe from under a house.
Frankenstein
Guys, guys. She can handle it. She's a Dracula, for Pete's sake. But seriously, watch out for fire. Fire bad.
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Eunice
What's going on out there? Are we at the hotel?
[opens the box with her long fingernail]
Eunice
Frank, did you book us a tandem massage? Did you get us a table at Hunchback's? Did you do anything?
Eunice
[muffled]
What's going on?
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Jonathan
You can almost see all the way to Budapest.
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[Eats Johnny's scooter]
Elderly Gremlin
I didn't do that.
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[Everyone is playing Bingo, Eunice gets bingo]
Eunice
Bingo! Bingo!
Eunice
[the Elderly Goblin eats her bingo card]
How dare you? Do you know what doctor made *me*?
Elderly Gremlin
I didn't do that.
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Murray
Here comes the PARTY!
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Frankenstein
I like Johnny. Cousin or no, he told me fun stories.
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Frankenstein
[having just given a deafening roar to a cheering crowd]
I'm trying to scare you! The real Frankenstein!
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Frankenstein
Drac.
Dracula
Yes, Frank?
Frankenstein
Hey, buddy, what you been doing?
[to Frank]
Dracula
Never mind that. What you been doing?
Wayne
We wanted to practice our big number for Mavis' party, and then these losers wouldn't get off the bandstand.
Dracula
Okay. Put down Zombie Mozart, Bach and Beethoven this instant.
[Frank and Wayne throw them]
Dracula
Did you get to rehearse at all, Zombie Beethoven?
[Zombie Beethoven moans]
Wayne
Listen, Drac, we wanted to play something, like old times. We even thought maybe you'd sing with us.
Dracula
Come on, fellas. You know that I haven't sung in public since Martha...
Frankenstein
Yeah, but we just thought how much, you know, Mavis would love it.
Dracula
I said, no!
[roars with his monster face]
Dracula
Don't ask me again! Okay. Now, let's hug the zombies. Let's all make up.
Frankenstein
I wasn't scared. I was being polite, okay?
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Wayne
What is this minibar charge?
Wanda
Honey, the kids threw the minibar out the window.
Wayne
And that's our fault?
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[Wayne, Wanda, Frank, Eunice, Murray and Griffin enters Mavis' room]
Mavis
Hey, guys.
Frankenstein
You excited about tomorrow?
Mavis
Not as excited as I am right now. You're not gonna believe this, but Dad is letting me go out on my own to see a human village!
[everyone protested, Eunice pushes her way through everyone]
Eunice
Excuse me, Drac. Have you lost it?
[pulls Mavis into a hug]
Eunice
Letting your own daughter out there with those horrible humans you always tell us about? That's why you built this place. They hate us. They're vicious. And they're very loud!
Mavis
Auntie Eunice, maybe they've changed. I'm just gonna fly down the street and see how it goes.
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Suit of Armor
[About Johnny]
Boy that kid smelled.
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