Happy Death Day 2017 - Movie Quotes

Tree Gelbman Tim, I know you're really not into girls. But it's okay. Love is love. Now go out there and get yourself a fine piece of man-ass!

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Tree Gelbman [to Tim] Who takes their date to Subway? Besides, it's not like you have a footlong.

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Tree Gelbman [to Carter] Would you stop looking at me like I just took a dump on your mom's head?

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[repeated line]

Carter Davis Oh hey. You're up!

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[Danielle is interviewed about Lori's death. In the background, Emily whimpers, while Becky tries to calm her]

Danielle Bouseman I just knew there was something wrong with Lori. She never wore make up, never posted any cute selfies, and she literally owned a pair of crocs. All the signs of a psycho killer would...

[angrily, Danielle turns to Emily]

Danielle Bouseman Hello? I'm trying to get interviewed here!

[Becky and Emily go away]

Tree Gelbman [watching this on TV] Oh my God, she is such a tool.

Danielle Bouseman Anyhoo, Lori's little plot was super lame. Poisoning a cupcake? Really? We're Kappas. We don't eat cupcakes. Is this local or national?

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Lori Spengler What I really want to know is, how did you figure it out?

Tree Gelbman Because you've killed me before.

Lori Spengler Then I guess I'm just gonna have to do it again.

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Tree Gelbman [to her father] It's been so much worse. All of this running and hiding has made me so miserable. And I think I finally figured it out. I mean, it took something, like, totally crazy, but... but I'm here. And I love you. And I'm so, so sorry that I hurt you.

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Tree Gelbman [frustrated] Silence!

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[at the restaurant, Tree belches]

Carter Davis [smiles] That's... impressive.

Tree Gelbman That was nothing.

[Tree tilts to one side and farts loudly, followed by a short fart. Carter looks embarrassed. Tree smiles]

Carter Davis Did you get it all out?

Tree Gelbman Whatever. You won't remember it anyway.

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Tree Gelbman [to her arresting officer] Thank you!

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Tree Gelbman I can't change what I've done, but I can start trying to be a better person today.

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Police Officer Ma'am, are you under the influence of alcohol or any other controlled substance?

Tree Gelbman No! That is what I'm trying to...

[pause]

Tree Gelbman Wait. If I am, does that mean that you're going to arrest me and lock me in a jail cell?

Police Officer That's how it usually works.

Tree Gelbman I'm drunk!

Police Officer You are?

Tree Gelbman Wasted. And I'm high. You know, pills... weed... you name it, man, I'm on it!

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Ryan Phan I'm not sleeping in my car again. It smells like Hot Pockets and feet.

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Tree Gelbman [as she is being handcuffed] I've never been arrested before.

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Carter Davis I was never close to my dad. Can't even remember the last time he called me on my birthday. He kinda always forgets.

Tree Gelbman Yeah. I'm supposed to be with mine. I don't know, I couldn't bear the thought of sitting through another uncomfortable celebration while we both pretend that everything is awesome.

Carter Davis Are you closer with your mom?

Tree Gelbman Was.

Carter Davis What happened?

[Tree does not answer, just looks sadly]

Carter Davis Oh, she...

Tree Gelbman Yeah. Three years ago.

Carter Davis I'm sorry. That-that sucks.

Tree Gelbman Yeah. We actually share the same birthday, though.

Carter Davis [smiles] Seriously? That's crazy.

Tree Gelbman [smiles] You know, when I was a kid, I always got to skip school. We'd go to the beach. My dad would buy us this like huge birthday cake. And put just one candle on it. We'd blow it out together.

Carter Davis I bet you miss her.

Tree Gelbman [nods] Yeah.

[pause]

Tree Gelbman You know, it's funny, you relive the same day over and over again, you kind of start to see who you really are. If my mom saw me now, and who I've become, I don't think she'd be very proud.

Carter Davis Don't say that.

Tree Gelbman [sharply] It's true. I'm not a good person, Carter. Maybe it's karma, maybe I deserve it.

[Tree lowers her eyes, saddened]

Carter Davis Well, look, I don't know you all that well, but... it's never too late to change. I mean, especially if what you're saying is true, each new day is... it's a chance to be somebody better.

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[Tree finds out that Lori is the murderer]

Lori Spengler What I really wanna know is, how did you figure it out?

Tree Gelbman Because you've killed me before.

Lori Spengler [smiles] Then I guess I'm just gonna have to do it again.

[Lori steps toward Tree. Tree kicks her in the stomach. Lori doubles up painfully. Tree grabs a lamp and throws it at Lori, but misses. Lori recovers, grabs Tree, slams her head against the desk and starts choking her. They roll all over the room, knocking over items. Tree tries to reach the door but Lori grabs her, sits astride on her back and repeatedly slams her head against the floor. Lori shoves her elbow into Lori's face. Lori lets Tree go, but immediately recovers, pushs Tree on the bed and sits astride on her stomach. Suddenly, someone knocks on the door. Lori quickly covers Tree's mouth]

Danielle Bouseman [from outside the room] What the hell's going on in there?

Lori Spengler Nothing. Tree just fell. Everything's fine.

Danielle Bouseman Whatever. Clumsy hos. I better see you at the meeting today.

[while struggling, Tree suddenly notices the poisoned cupcake, a few inches from her. She tries to reach it]

Lori Spengler We'll be there!

[Tree punches Lori at her throat. Lori lets go of her, gasping for air]

Tree Gelbman [furiously] Eat it, bitch!

[Tree shoves the entire poisoned cupcake into Lori's mouth. Lori recoils, screaming in horror, trying to remove the cupcake from her mouth. She stands with her back to the window. Tree, snarling in rage, runs toward Lori, grabs hold of the lamp. With all her might, she kicks Lori in the chest. Lori is knocked backwards. She falls through the window, her body crashes on the ground with a sickening thud, near Emily. Emily screams in horror and runs away. Tree looks through the window and sees her enemy dead. She slumps on the floor, sighing in relief, realizing that now the nightmare is finally over]

Danielle Bouseman [knocks on the door] What are you losers doing in there?

Tree Gelbman [mumbles] Lori... ate... my cupcake.

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[Tree storms into her room. She hastily starts packing her belongings]

Lori Spengler She finally rolls in...

[Lori looks at Tree, puzzled]

Lori Spengler Going somewhere?

Tree Gelbman Yes. As far away as possible.

Lori Spengler Tree, what's wrong?

Tree Gelbman [continues packing] Me. I was wrong. I thought that if I stopped running that I could beat it. But it's never gonna stop.

Lori Spengler Tree, you're freaking me out.

Tree Gelbman Hello, that's me, a freak!

[Lori takes the cupcake, lights the candle, approaches Tree and hands her the cupcake]

Lori Spengler [smiles] Tree. Tree, look. Happy birthday.

Tree Gelbman [turns her back to Lori] Thanks. But I already ate it last night.

[suddenly, it dawns on Tree who is the murderer. She stops packing]

Tree Gelbman Oh, my God. I died in my sleep.

Lori Spengler What?

[Tree turns to face Lori]

Tree Gelbman You killed me.

Lori Spengler What?

Tree Gelbman You poisoned it. But I never ate it before.

[a flasback: Tree drops the cupcake on the floor without eating it]

Tree Gelbman So you had to find another way. Then Tombs fell right into your lap. Perfect scapegoat.

[flashbacks: Tombs is transported on a stretcher while Lori watches; Lori injects Tombs sedatives; Lori plants a knife in Tombs' room and covers his face with the babyface mask; Lori kills Tree, then removes the mask]

Tree Gelbman You had access to him. Did you drug him first? You knew that if he escaped, everyone would assume that he killed me. But it was always you.

Lori Spengler [chuckles nervously] Tree, are... is this a joke? You think I would actually try to poison you with a freaking cupcake?

Tree Gelbman [shrugs] Okay then. Prove it.

[Tree takes the cupcake, blows the candle and hands the cupcake back to Lori]

Tree Gelbman Go on, Lori. Take a bite. Go on, Lori.

Lori Spengler [shakes her head, chuckling nervously] You really are crazy.

Tree Gelbman [smiles] Okay then. I'll take it down to the police. I'm sure they can tell us what your little birthday treat is made of.

[as Tree starts walking away, Lori wears a sinister expression. She grabs Tree's hair, then knocks her against the bathroom door. Tree falls to the floor. While she is momentarily stunned, Lori chuckles nastily, locks the room door and faces Tree]

Lori Spengler [contemptuously] You stupid little whore.

Tree Gelbman [fearfully] I know I've been a bad roommate, but... isn't this a bit much? What the hell?

Lori Spengler Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you wouldn't stop sleeping with him.

Tree Gelbman What? Gregory?

Lori Spengler [venomously] But he just kept choosing you over me. I guess all he wanted was a cheap slut like you!

Tree Gelbman [in disbelief] Wait, you've been killing me over some stupid guy?

Lori Spengler [shakes her head] Oh, that's not the only reason. You're a dumb bitch, too! What I really wanna know is, how did you figure it out?

Tree Gelbman Because you've killed me before.

Lori Spengler [smiles] Then I guess I'm just gonna have to do it again.

[Lori steps toward Tree. Tree kicks her in the stomach. Lori doubles up painfully]

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[Tree enters the hospital, to meet her secret lover Dr. Gregory Butler. She walks to the elevator. The elevator doors open, and Lori steps outside]

Tree Gelbman Lori.

Lori Spengler Hi.

Tree Gelbman Hi. Um... so, I thought you only worked nights.

Lori Spengler Doing a double for Jan. She has the flu.

Tree Gelbman That's nice of you.

Lori Spengler [smiles knowingly] So, I guess I don't need to ask what you're doing here.

Tree Gelbman Gotta go.

[Tree enters the elevaor]

Lori Spengler Look, Tree... it's none of my business, but... I think something like this is bound to have some pretty serious consequences.

Tree Gelbman [smiles sweetly] You're right. It is none of your business.

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[ending scene: Tree and Carter are at the restaurant, watching Danielle's interview on TV. Tree's cellphone rings]

Tree Gelbman Hey, Dad. Dad.

David Gelbman Tree, are you okay? Are you hurt?

Tree Gelbman Dad, no, Dad. I'm fine. I promise.

David Gelbman Are you sure?

Tree Gelbman Yeah. Just a little scratched up.

David Gelbman All right.

Tree Gelbman Okay. I'll see you soon.

David Gelbman I love you.

Tree Gelbman I love you, too. Bye.

[Tree closes her cellphone]

Carter Davis So, uh, now that your bedroom is officially a crime scene and all, where are you planning on crashing?

Tree Gelbman [chuckles] Is that an invitation?

Carter Davis You sure you wanna wake up in the dorm room again?

Tree Gelbman Only if it's yours.

Carter Davis Only of course, you'll have to sleep in Ryan's bed.

Tree Gelbman [smiles] Of course.

Carter Davis Yeah. We can, you know... oh, uh... I almost forgot.

[Carter takes Tree's bracelet out of his pocket and hands it to Tree]

Carter Davis You left this little guy.

Tree Gelbman Thanks.

Carter Davis Hey, you know what your little scenario reminds me of?

Tree Gelbman What?

Carter Davis Uh...

Tree Gelbman What's that?

Carter Davis "Groundhog Day". The movie "Groundhog Day"?

Tree Gelbman [shakes her head] I don't know.

Carter Davis With Bill Murray?

Tree Gelbman Who's Bill Murray?

Carter Davis [surprised] Are you kidding me? "Ghostbusters".

Tree Gelbman [shrugs] Sorry. I... I don't know.

Carter Davis How do you sleep at night? You've never seen "Groundhog Day"?

Tree Gelbman No.

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[Tree enters the OR, armed with a gun and a knife. Tombs lies on the bed, seemingly asleep. Tree points the gun at him]

Tree Gelbman I know you are not asleep. Open your eyes.

[Tombs blinks. Determinedly, recalling how Tombs ruthlessly killed Carter the day before, Tree presses the trigger, but nothing happens. Tombs smiles teasingly. Fearfully, Tree presses the trigger repeatedly, but in vain]

Joseph Tombs [mockingly] Safety on, little girl.

[Tombs strikes Tree with a pillow, knocking the gun from her hand. The gun slids on the floor out of the room. Tree attempts to retrieve it, but Tombs charges, grabs her and slams her against the wall. He starts strangling Tree, but then he notices the knife in her belt. He draws the knife]

Joseph Tombs Look what we have here... hmm?

[Tombs presses the knife against Tree's throat. Tree whimpers. Tombs moves his face near Tree's cheek]

Joseph Tombs You know, it's a real nice surprise, you comin' and visit me like this...

[Tree knees Tombs in his groin. Tombs recoils painfully, then attempts to stab Tree. Tree evades Tombs, and the knife is thrust into the door. Before Tree can get away, Tombs grabs her and slams her against a door in the opposite wall, then throws her against a firehose cabinet. The glass door of the cabinet breaks. Tree collapses on the floor, groaning in pain, among glass shards]

Joseph Tombs Woof! I like you. Damn shame.

[Tombs pulls the knife out of the door. Tree tries to stand on her feet, but she is too weak]

Joseph Tombs You're a fiesty little shit, ain't you?

[laughing, Tombs advances toward Tree, who lies helplessly on the floor]

Joseph Tombs [laughs] That's right, crawl, little girl, crawl... don't worry, I'll just make this real quick for ya, OK?

[Tree is overwhelmed with fear. Suddenly, her watch beeps. To Tombs' surprise, Tree smiles confidently. The lights go out for a few seconds. Once the lights are back on, Tree has disappeared from view. Tombs is confused, unaware that Tree has retrieved the gun and stands behind him]

Tree Gelbman Hey!

[Tombs turns back, facing Tree, who points the gun at him]

Tree Gelbman Safety's off. Thanks for the tip.

[without hesitation, Tree shoots Tombs three times. The serial murderer collapses to the floor, dead. Tree sighs in relief, believing incorrectly that the time-loop is resolved - unaware that she has yet to deal with the main culprit]

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[mid-credit scene: Tree wakes up in Carter's bed, her cellphone rings the birthday ringtone, as repeatedly happened]

Carter Davis Oh, hey, you're up.

[Tree rises, uncertain whether the time-loop stopped]

Carter Davis I wasn't sure if you wanted to, uh, sleep in or not.

[Tree's heart freezes as she hears the familiar sentence, thinking she is still stuck in the time-loop. She stares at Carter in horror]

Carter Davis [smiles] I'm kidding. It was...

[Carter shows Tree his cellphone]

Carter Davis It was me. I just called your phone.

Tree Gelbman What?

Carter Davis It's Tuesday, the 19th. You made it.

Tree Gelbman [relieved] Oh, my God. You are such a jerk!

[Tree stands up, pretends to be angry. She grabs a pillow and playfully beats Carter with it]

Tree Gelbman I'm gonna kill you!

Carter Davis Hey, that's not fair.

Tree Gelbman What is wrong with you? That was not funny! You are such a punk! I hate y...

[they both laugh. Tree lies back in the bed. Carter bends over her, about to kiss her. The door opens. Ryan enters the room]

Ryan Phan [sighs] She's back?

Carter Davis Out.

Ryan Phan [irritated] I'm not sleeping in my car again. It smells like Hot Pockets and feet.

Carter Davis Get out!

Ryan Phan I just want clean underwear!

[Carter throws a pillow at Ryan. Ryan quickly exits, closing the door behind. The pillow hits the door, where there is a sign "Today is the first day of the rest your life". Tree and Carter laugh, then kiss lovingly]

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Carter Davis Whoever's killing you knows it's your birthday. Alright, look - give me a list of everybody who knows it's your birthday and whoever's trying to kill you.

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[repeated scene in the beginning of every day: Ryan enters the room he shares with Carter]

Ryan Phan [to Carter] Dude, you hit that fine vagine or what?

[Ryan notices that Tree is still in the room, and heard what he said]

Ryan Phan [embarrassed] Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.

[Tree leaves]

Carter Davis [angrily] Nice one, dickhead!

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[after erasing the names of Nick, Tim and Stephanie from the suspect list, Tree checks on Danielle. They walk together, chatting]

Danielle Bouseman So exhausting...

[someone bumps into Danielle, making her drop her books]

Danielle Bouseman Asshole!

[Tree bends to pick Danielle's books. Suddenly she noticed a birthday card among the books, similar to the one she received. Thinking incorrectly that Danielle is the murderer, Tree looks at her murderously]

Tree Gelbman You bitch!

[Tree drops the card and charges at Danielle. They grab each other's hair, then struggle on the ground]

Tree Gelbman I knew it was you!

[they roll from the sidewalk to the road]

Tree Gelbman Come here!

[Tree sits on top of Danielle, beating her]

Danielle Bouseman Get off me!

Tree Gelbman I'm gonna kill you!

[they are run over by a bus. Tree wakes in Carter's bed, yelling furiously. She crosses off Danielle's name from the suspect list]

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[at the sorotrity meeting, Danielle is about to offend Becky, as she did previously]

Danielle Bouseman [harshly] Becky... is that chocolate milk I see?

Becky Shepard [embarrassed] I skipped breakfast.

[Tree arrives, carrying a tray with a lot of fattening food. She sits next to Becky]

Tree Gelbman Oh!

[Tree takes a handful of chips and shoves them into her mouth, while Danielle and the other girls watch her in disbelief]

Tree Gelbman Mmm... mmm... mmm, guys, it's so good.

Danielle Bouseman [angrily] What's up with the fat fest? We're Kappas.

Tree Gelbman [with her mouth full] Come on, hun, live a little.

[Tree throws a snack bar on the table near Danielle]

Tree Gelbman A few calories won't kill ya.

Danielle Bouseman [nastily] No. It'll just turn me into a chunker. Like Becky here.

[offended, Becky picks her food tray, stands and is about to leave, but Tree stops her]

Tree Gelbman Wait.

[Tree takes a large cup of chocolate milk from Becky's tray. Becky sits back. Tree approaches Danielle, removes the straw from the cup and drops it. Danielle stares at Tree, confused. Slowly, Tree pours the entire contents of the chocolate milk cup on the obnoxious girl's head. Becky and all the other girls burst out laughing]

Danielle Bouseman Oh, my God!

[humiliated, Danielle runs away, while everyone laughs at her]

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Happy Death Day Movie Quotes