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Kinoafisha Films Life Is Sweet Life Is Sweet Movie Quotes

Life Is Sweet Movie Quotes

[Natalie and Nicola ponder having children]

Natalie Well, I wouldn't fancy bringing one up on me own.

Nicola It's better to be on your own than be with a bastard.

Natalie Well, presumably you wouldn't *choose* a bastard in the first place if you had any sense!

Nicola All men are bastards!

Natalie *What*?

Nicola They're all potential rapists!

Natalie That's a bit sweeping!

Nicola All men have got the ability to rape.

Natalie Well they don't all do it, do they!

Nicola But they've got the ability; they've got the desire.

Natalie That's paranoid rubbish!

Nicola What d'you know about paranoia?

Natalie Well, not half as much as you do, I'll give you that.

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Wendy Get in that toilet and do a wee. Blimey, look. This is the seat. I don't want me carpet all soaking wet. And close the door! You've got two daughters! What's a matter with ya?

Andy That's what's a matter with me. I've got two daughters

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Nicola's Lover I want to see you nice.

Nicola Well what's nice? it's only a boring cliche.

Nicola's Lover No, nice. Nice. Show me a bit of civility, a bit of respect.

Nicola You don't show me no respect!

Nicola's Lover I'm trying to respect you now. Trying to treat you like a real person Instead of some fucking - shag bag.

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Patsy [in a pub after a few beers] Far as I'm concerned, football died, the day Arsenal won the double.

Andy That's right, yeah.

Patsy What was they? Work horses.

Andy Boring buggers, ain't they.

Patsy Well the Spurs double team? They was artists.

Andy They was artists.

Patsy 21 quid a week they got. Can you imagine? What do they get today? Millions.

Andy And they got their back handers on top of that ain't they.

Patsy Poncing round the penalty area with their handbags.

Andy Prima donnas.

Patsy "Oh, he kicked a me, Ref."

Andy Brown, Baker, Henry,

[both]

Andy Blanchflower

Patsy Yeah, Danny boy.

Andy Yeah.

Patsy He was the architect of the modern game, y'know.

Andy That's right, yeah.

Patsy Norman, Mackay, Jones, White, Smith, Allen,

[both]

Patsy Dyson.

Andy Yeah, come on you Spurs.

Patsy John White, what a player, eh.

Andy Yeah.

Patsy I used to have a little picture of him on my wall, ringed in black.

Patsy Tragic. What a way to go.

Andy Struck by lightening.

Patsy On a golf course.

Andy What a waste, eh. You want another?

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Nicola Stop being antagonistic.

Nicola's Lover I'm not being antagonistic. I'm trying to have an intelligent conversation with you. Are you capable of that? Eh? I don't think you are, are you? Really. Bit vacant, aint ya? Bit of an air-head. Nothing going on. Bit dumb. Bit dizzy. Dimbo, bimbo. Dumb blondster, ain't ya? Eh, hello. Anyone at home? Hello? Hello? You're a fake.

Nicola I am intelligent.

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Andy Tell you, you want to watch out for Aubrey in that kitchen. He'll come up behind you with a cucumber.

Wendy [laughs] Listen, I don't think it'll be a cucumber he'll be coming up behind me with.

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Nicola I'm not prepared to be exploited!

Wendy Exploited? You're not prepared to work. Full stop.

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Patsy Alight, girls.

Nicola 'ello boys.

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner Classic nose.

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Wendy [to Nicola] We don't hate you! We bloody love you, you stupid girl!

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Natalie See, you want to be with us. So why don't you just act normal?

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Nicola You'll find out when you get to America.

Natalie I'm only going on a holiday.

Nicola So?

Natalie What? You think I'm going to get yanked off the plane at John F. Kennedy airport and be raped and pillaged do ya?

Nicola You've got to be on your guard.

Natalie Did you hear what I just said?

Nicola What?

Natalie Yanked. Get it?

Nicola What?

Natalie Yanked! America!

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Nicola Middle class wanker!

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Wendy If you smoked less and you ate more you wouldn't be sitting there looking like a skeleton.

Nicola It's better than looking like a beached whale.

Wendy Oh, thank you. Anyway your Dad likes something to grab hold of over the night.

Nicola What? Blubber?

Wendy No. Me little love handles. We got a set each ain't we, Andy?

Nicola Oh, you're disgusting!

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Nicola I'm not going to waste my life.

Andy No? What're you doing now then? Contributing a great deal aren't you sitting around on your arse all day.

Nicola Yeah, well I'm thinking about it.

Andy Oh yeah thinking about it that's the easy bit isn't it? Anyone can do that. It's doing it that's difficult.

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Andy Take my word for it - that is an evil spoon.

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Nicola Sexist pig!

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Paula I want to go for a fag.

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Nicola I don't want friends. They disappoint you.

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Wendy Oh, Andy, you're just a big softy, you are.

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Wendy I tell you what though, I wouldn't trust him.

Natalie I wouldn't trust anyone wearing a suit like that.

Wendy They cost about 300 quid them suits y'know.

Natalie What does he do anyway?

Wendy He don't do anything. He's unemployed.

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Wendy You can't rush him.

Natalie Yeah, he's happy going at that speed, isn't he?

Wendy Yeah, dead slow and stop.

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Andy I feel like Princess Margaret.

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Wendy Now, listen, you're in trouble, right? And I'm helping you out. 'Cause that's what friends are for. That's right, isn't it Andy?

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner It's it's amazing!

Andy But you haven't even done bar work Wendy, let's be honest.

Wendy No, but I'm confident. I can have a go.

Andy Let's face it, have you ever been a waitress?

Wendy No.

Andy No.

Wendy But, I've been waiting on you all these years haven't I? So?

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner I achieved this effect by, eh, gently, easing, teasing and squeezing.

Wendy Oh don't be so dirty!

[laughs]

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Andy This has inspired me. I want to get back get down to work, get stuck in.

Wendy Pigs might fly.

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Nicola Tory!

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[repeated line]

Wendy Oh, blimey!

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Natalie Staying in?

Andy Yeah.

Wendy Yeah, he's got to save up now. Pay for this heap of what's it.

Natalie So long as he's happy.

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Wendy Got a little Chinesey one in there.

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Nicola Give me a break.

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner I want this restaurant to be built on a one-to-one, mouth-to-mouth reputation, y'know.

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Natalie She kept calling me a good lad.

Wendy Oh, she never?

Natalie Yeah.

Wendy Well you should of said to her, " Listen, I'm a Miss."

[laughs]

Natalie Nah, no point

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner These stocks are reducing nicely. Secret of a great sauce is a well reduced stock. No stock, no sauce. Keys to the door. You're working with a genius. Do you know that? I'm not just a wanker, y'know. I could teach you things you've never even dreamed of. I'm a magician.

Nicola's Lover I want a drink.

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner Well, there's plenty of orange juice in there, help yourself.

Nicola's Lover I want some wine.

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner I can't have you getting drunk. Kitchen's a very dangerous place.

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Nicola Racist!

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Wendy Blinking heck.

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner [drunkenly] Come on you bastards! I'm open! I'm ready! I'm waiting for you! This is what you've all been waiting for! Come and get it! Fish wives. Footballers. You English dickhead! You can stick to your fish and chips! Go on, go and get cancer! Thousand pounds. Ten thousand pounds! Go on mate, cook him! You working class morons! Go and eat your own shit! Go on! Go on!

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Nicola I know you want it.

Nicola's Lover Do I?

Nicola Yeah.

Nicola's Lover How do you know?

Nicola Syncronicity.

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Wendy That is enough. No more. Right? 'Cause you're being a naughty boy.

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Natalie So, come on then, what happened at the restaurant?

Nicola How many tips did you score?

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Wendy Listen, we got to turn over a new leaf yeah? Both of us. All of us. Come on, have a little cup of tea.

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Wendy If you put your money where your mouth is you should be joining one of these socialist what's it groups or the nuclear disarmament whatever. But you don't! All you do is sit here in this room staring at the walls and tweeking and twitching.

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Wendy Don't be so daft.

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Wendy How are you political?

Nicola I read the paper. I watch the news. I'm more political than you.

Wendy Oh blimey, Nicola, we can all watch the telly. You should be out there helping the old aged pensioners or going on marches or whatever.

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Wendy You know what he's like. He wants a bit of tea and sympathy.

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[last lines]

Natalie Do you want some money?

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[repeated line]

Nicola Bollocks!

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Wendy Stretch right up like you're stretching for sweets on the top shelf.

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Nicola Fascist!

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Nicola Disgusting!

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner Shit. Fucking yuppies.

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Nicola You're behaving like a big kid!

Andy Don't be cheeky.

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Nicola Selfish pig!

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Patsy Sorry to bother you on a Sunday like but, eh, I was wondering if Andy was in?

Andy Yeah.

Patsy Only I was hoping to catch him down in the boozer like but I got a bit held up.

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Wendy Cut me a nice big juicy slice. You know that I like mine nice and juicy.

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Nicola It's ecologically unsound!

Andy You're ecologically unsound.

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Wendy Why didn't you tell me Aubrey was here? You knew I was sitting out the back.

Nicola No, I never.

Wendy Yes, you did.

Nicola Are you calling me a liar?

Wendy Yes I am calling you a liar.

Nicola I thought you had gone for a walk.

Wendy Don't be so stupid. I've never been for a walk in me life. Have I?

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Wendy Where're you taking him Patsy?

Patsy Don't worry Wendy. A little magical mystery tour.

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner It's alright by me if they don't want to eat. They can bask in the atmosphere.

Wendy Oh, blimey, you're not going to make much profit that way Aubrey.

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner [singing] No, No regrets, No, No regret rien

Wendy [talking] Oh, yeah, that's what I remember, yeah.

Nicola She sang it in French!

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner Yeah, she was from France.

Nicola She was thin.

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner She was thin, she was French.

Wendy She's dead though, isn't she?

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner Yeah, she was a prostitute.

Nicola So!

Natalie Shut up.

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner The sparrow.

Wendy Yeah, the little sparrow, that's right, yeah.

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Natalie Come on, get in.

Wendy What? Can't get it in the hole?

[laughs]

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Patsy I promise you Andy, you go down White Hart Lane on a Saturday for the home games, a man of your skills, a couple of hundred beef burgers, you'll make a fortune. I'm telling you. "Excuse me guvnor, I'll have 4 hamburgers, 3 egg burgers, a sausage roll and onion, a bacon egg and cheese roll, a tea, a bovril, and a large vodka." Sold to the man with the beard!

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner It's alright Andy, Wendy. Everything's hunky dory. Cool. I'm in complete control. If ever I see her again I'll stick a knife in her guts. I'll slice her face off, y'know.

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Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner To be totally honest, Andy, I think Wendy will be a natural, y'know. She's got such grace and charm.

Wendy Thank you, Aubrey.

Andy Excuse me are we talking about the same girl?

Wendy [laughs] Don't be rotten.

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Andy Where's she going?

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner Flipping Prague!

Wendy Awww, that's not right.

Andy No, that's not on, mate.

Wendy No, sorry.

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner It's great, isn't it? You give someone a break, a chance to better themselves, an opportunity to enter into a brave new venture, and what do they do? Piss off to Poland!

Wendy Well, that's typical Aussie isn't it? Travelers.

Andy Students.

Wendy It's Czechoslovakia isn't it, Prague?

Andy Yeah, is it?

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Actors Who Said Iconic Phrases

Claire Skinner