ZazieI'm waiting for the others to go see Uncle dance.
Madame MouaqueThat elephant dances?
ZazieIn a tutu, too!
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ZazieAre you a homosessual?
CharlesI look like a fruit?
ZazieNo, you're the driver.
CharlesYou see?
ZazieSee what? So why aren't you married?
CharlesCan't find my dream girl.
ZazieYou're a snob.
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Uncle GabrielIn 20 years, there won't be teachers anymore. They'll all be replaced by movies, TV, electronics, stuff like that. That was in the paper the other day too.
Zazie[Referring to Charlie's taxi]You oughta pay people to ride in this stinking crate!
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AlbertineGabriel, Gabriel, you forgot your lipstick.
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Uncle GabrielI got a confession stuck in my craw. I can't hold it in no more! I'll say nothing of my youth. Of my upbringing, I had none. Of my education, there's little to tell. On this score, there's no more to say. Now I come to my military service on which I won't dwell. A bachelor early on, life made me what I am. Rise, descend, descend, rise, come, go - so does Man until he finally vanishes. A taxi bringeth him. An elevator taketh him away. Neither the Tower nor the Pantheon take any note. All Paris is a dream. Zazie is a reverie. All this is a reverie within a dream. A reverie within a dream.
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Uncle GabrielAnd over there, way out yonder, the cemetery is piled high with former Parisians... who went up and down countless steps, to and fro along endless streets, until in the end they went and were no more. Pleasure bringeth them, a hearse taketh them away. Meanwhile, the Tower rusts, the Pantheon cracks, quicker than their bones rot... and melt away in the humus of the woeful metropolis. But I... I am alive! And there my knowledge ceases. Of the cabbie and my niece, 1,000 feet up in the air, and of my sweet spouse, Albertine, back at the hearth, at this precise moment, I know only this: that they are almost dead since they are not here. Created in a flash... animated in a splash... negated in a dash.
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ZazieYou must be repressed. Wait for me. Tell me about your hang-ups. You scared of women?
CharlesThere she goes again! Sexuality all over the place, all the time! Excrementation! Putrefaction! All dames have one-track minds!
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AlbertineFor an engagement, a medium white is indispensable, with a touch of virginal silver.
MadoI'll skip the virginal part.
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ZazieSay, Unc, when you guys spout crap, you do it on purpose?
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ZazieBull. You never tell the truth.
Uncle GabrielThe truth? As if you knew what truth was. As if anybody knew. It's all a lot of hooey.
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Zazie[to Albertine from departing train]Goodbye, sir.
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ZazieWhat a swell town!
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Madame Mouaque[very drunk, to Gredoux]People are mostly cunts. You too, cunt.
Ferdinand GrédouxYou hear this...
Madame MouaqueMadame Mouaque, Ferdinand Grédoux: [increasingly absurd fisticuffs ensue throughout bar as Zazie is passed out]
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Uncle Gabriel[Looking at the Eiffel Tower]I wonder why Paris is always pictured as a dame.
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Trouscaillon[acting sadly in front of crowd]I... was orphaned... in the Resistance.
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Uncle GabrielParis will always be Paris! Isn't it gorgeous, Zazie! The Pantheon. The Invalides. The cabaret. The metro.
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MadoI think you're so beautiful.
AlbertineDo you?
MadoOh, I do! I really do! I think you're swell-looking. You're so well-stacked and so elegant, on top of it.
AlbertineDon't let's exaggerate.
MadoOh, but you are! You're real swell. Why don't we see more of you? I'd like to see more of you.
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Uncle GabrielOkay, so I dance in drag in a nightclub. That means nothing. Strictly for laughs. With my build, you see...