Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball Movie Quotes
Finbar McTeague
Too much oil.
Ariella Martinez
Excuse me?
Finbar McTeague
You use too much oil. You're wearing Cuopoif, which is a good fragrance for you, but it's being ruined by the oil.
Ariella Martinez
Bravo. You're very good about the perfume, but I don't use oil on my skin.
Finbar McTeague
I didn't mention anything about your skin. I think it's on the gun you're wearing.
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Baby Boy Tremor
[after spotting circus dwarves]
Minotaurs.
Lester Tremor
Minotaurs are cloven-hoofed creatures of mythological origin. You mean miniatures.
Baby Boy Tremor
Yuh.
Baby Boy Tremor
Yuh.
Fritz Tremor
You all be careful. Them clown fuckers can be dangerous, and the little ones can be lethal. I always make it a point not to cross swords with carnies and harlots, but we can use them little boys as a facade, so there we are. Yeah. They're Satan's little secret agents, collecting souls on the side. I saw one of them little bastards levitate one time, took the heart right out of a Great Dane, eat it whole, just like that.
Lester Tremor
You seen what?
Fritz Tremor
Yep.
Lester Tremor
Where'd you see that? Now that must've been a sight to behold.
Fritz Tremor
Yeah. Sent me running for my Bible.
Lester Tremor
You still take comfort in them fables, Daddy?
Fritz Tremor
Don't you blaspheme, boy. Never too old to put you over my knee and beat a reckoning into you.
Kaitlyn 'AK-47' Tremor
You're still scared of clowns, Lester.
[chuckles]
Lester Tremor
I ain't scared of them, per se, just very mindful of their movements, that's all.
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Kaitlyn 'AK-47' Tremor
[reacting to Lester touching her breast]
Speaking of depraved, you lay a paw on me again, I'm gonna shove that RPG where the sun refuses to shine.
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Agent Baker
You going back to DC after this?
Malcolm Little
No, man. Working on this alias for this project I've got in Vegas next year. Cat I like to call Beanie. Ghetto retard, barely educated, brought up in a gang environment.
Agent Baker
Oh, that should be a pretty easy transition for you, then.
Malcolm Little
What? I fucking hate hip-hop.
Agent Baker
You hate hip-hop? Come on.
Malcolm Little
Oh, what? A black man can't hate hip-hop? I bet you tell me my favorite food's watermelon. I just can't live without chicken, huh? Just gonna snatch up my brother badge if I ain't bumping some hip-hop.
Agent Baker
You're putting words in my mouth.
Malcolm Little
Hey, man, listen to me. Hip-hop is the unwanted bastard son of superior musical forms like jazz, blues. These kids don't know anything about Louis Armstrong, Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie, but hey, when it's required of me,
[imitating gangsta-speak]
Malcolm Little
I be pulling hos out the club, flashing knots and nines on these niggas. You know how I do, pimp.
[cocks shotgun]
Agent Baker
Like I said, should be a pretty easy transition for you.
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Fritz Tremor
Remember old Bobby Dubap, y'all? Down out of Tulsa? That shitstain got himself keistered with an RPG.
Lester Tremor
Did they fire it?
Fritz Tremor
Fire it?
[chuckles]
Fritz Tremor
I'm telling you, boy. I mean, if you took the time now to bother to stuff a collapsible shoulder-launch RPG up somebody's bunghole, don't you think you'd fire it?
[laughs]
Fritz Tremor
Wouldn't you feel just a little let down if you didn't?
[laughs]
Fritz Tremor
Why would you put it up there in the first place?
Lester Tremor
I don't know. You got your thumb up there most of the time. Why don't you tell me?
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Lester Tremor
Any one of you want to see my sister's tits?
[fires rocket at agents]
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Fritz Tremor
Don't you know, boy, the danger of blood relations? That's what double-fucked the Confederacy. That's how we lost the Civil War. You think you want a whole slew of kids running around whose eyeballs are touching because you can't keep your hands off your sister?
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Agent Dominic Dumare
[to undercover agent dressed as a bum]
Little too convincing, Culham.
Agent Culham
Fuck you.
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Fritz Tremor
[looking at map]
This town's got more tunnels than Ho Chi Minh's whorehouse. The whole city's a warren of the wicked and depraved.
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Kaitlyn 'AK-47' Tremor
[regarding Lester and Fritz bickering]
Y'all are real at each other right now.
Fritz Tremor
Ah, don't pay him no mind. His brother Jeeves, brother Darwin up to stir, see? Now he thinks he's fit, maybe, to take over this clan.
Lester Tremor
I'd rather be incarcerated than have to sit here and listen to your jibberjabber.
Fritz Tremor
Yeah, I can see that. You'd last about one minute up in the pen.
[laughs]
Fritz Tremor
Yeah, you'd really be reckoning with your
[imitates gay voice]
Fritz Tremor
feminine side.
Lester Tremor
Yeah, well, there's gonna be reckoning, old boy, right quick.
Fritz Tremor
[mockingly]
"There's gonna be a reckoning, old boy."
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Agent Baker
[referring to pornographic magazine being read by Redstone]
Good to see you're prepared. Staying focused.
Agent Redstone
Oh, I am. I'm utterly focused on that rack. Is that not a majestic set of tits?
Agent Baker
What? Are you being serious?
Agent Redstone
What?
Agent Baker
You're joking, right?
Agent Redstone
What? What the hell you talking about?
Agent Redstone
What?
Agent Baker
Her vagina was made with, like, the scrotum sack. She's, like, 85% man. Come on. Come on, Red.
Agent Redstone
[throws magazine down in disgust]
Oh, fuck. Are you serious? I didn't know. Seriously?
Agent Baker
No.
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Fritz Tremor
[talking with Lester]
That pretend street urchin smells like John Law from here. Probably a couple hawks on the roof. It's time to set your brother loose.
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Jules Scott
[talking over headset]
Is this the past or the present you're talking about? And this is real? This is a story, or this is real? I'm working on your man Walter Reed.
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Walter Weed
Am I in some sort of trouble.
Agent Baker
Sometimes, true forgiveness has to be forced upon us.
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Ariella Martinez
Sometimes, true forgiveness has to be forced upon us.
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Ariella Martinez
I don't need your help.
Finbar McTeague
Then why haven't you killed me already?
Ariella Martinez
The night's still young...
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[last lines]
News Reporter
South side bar owner Malcolm Little had no idea this morning that his place of business would be the scene of a massive gas leak explosion. Firefighters are on the scene fighting the blaze...
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[first lines]
Title Card
rather than dashing, gun-toting g-men, most FBI employees are information analysts, sifting through millions of telephone, email, and data transmissions to uncover threats of violent crime, terrorism, and espionage against the United States. / occasionally, bureau members themselves become the target of threats; these require extraordinary precautions, often including top-secret procedures outside the realm of normal protocol. / the unintended consequences of such secret activities are known as 'blowback'.
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Troy
[Trying to have sex with Ariella, pulls out a wad of cash]
Hey, I just got paid alright? Make this shit happen.
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Kaitlyn 'AK-47' Tremor
Dismissed!
[shoots her sailor lover]
Kaitlyn 'AK-47' Tremor
Gonna make this joke about you shooting your load and then me shooting you, but it wasn't as good as "dismissed."
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